Unassigned seating.....

I've been to both, and even at small weddings I love assigned seating. You never have to worry about losing your seat (especially when you get up for the buffet!), and it's not so bad for socializing because people get up when the DJ starts.

I feel like for every non assigned seating that did work out (which is great) there are by far more that cause chaos/are hectic. imo the less burden you can put on the guests and less confusion caused it makes their experience a lot smoother. The bride and groom typically should know which people like to sit with which other people..it may be the case that two guests who haven't talked to each other in awhile will not know the other is invited..once their table is full they come and are like "ohhh I wish I sat with them!"

Also if they come with 3 people and there are a lot of tables with only 2 seats left they may have to split up their immediate family..or chairs get moved, seats get stolen, etc. If there is a potential for a cluster, why risk it?

I much as I wanted to avoid a seating plan, I am going to do one. Main reason, I remembered a friends formal birthday party, FH and I didn't know many people there and there was a lot of family. We had to just randomly pick a spot to sit, not knowing who else was at the table. Well, the other people ended up getting up and moving eventually because they were his family, and they wanted to sit with his other family. I felt pretty uncomfortable about the whole thing. If anything I think there should be signs that say, "family," "friends," or something like that so you know, "hey, I can sit here and get to know some of their other friends."

Unless everyone knows each other pretty well.

As a guest I am always uncomfortable with unassigned seating especially if I don't know anyone at the wedding. It can really complicate things, especially if you have a lot of families coming that will want to sit together.

@Sunshine & Sprinkles, Thank you for this post. Before coming across this discussion FH and I had decided, "Why dictate where people sit?" We wanted them to feel comfortable to find their place and company. However, after reading all these comments, which helped jog some not-so-fond memories of attended weddings-past, I will certainly be assigning tables! Thankfully we do not have anyone to worry about in regards to them being an unwanted neighbor so we will at least assign tables so everyone at least feels comfortable that they have their spot. After that, I am confident that my guests picking a seat at said table will not be an issue. So thank you for this post. Certainly opened my eyes and shook my naivete about this topic.

I've never seen the point of assigned seating. Guest will always ( the weddings I have been to) sit where they want. My guest list is 387 and we are expecting about 250 and we are not having assigned seating. At least at this point in my planning. Im having tables reserved for family, and my close friends but thats about it. I hope I'm not shooting myself in the foot with this method. I may change the closer I get to my date. I have a meeting with my wedding planner on tomorrow and this is one of my topics of discussion.

I'm doing unassigned seating. Where I live, that's the norm. I don't think I have ever been to a wedding with assigned tables, come to think of it. My mom looked at me funny when I said I needed supplies to make table numbers (so the buffet line won't be complete chaos). Lol.

It wouldnt do any good if i did do a seating chart, i know people in my family. They would sit wherever the hell they pleased and completely disregard the seating chart. Hence the reason its open seating, and im not going to the reception until a half hour after the ceremony, so they have that half hour to fight it out.

Thanks for the lazy comment! It is really about who is attending and how you want your wedding to be.

I am anything but lazy and if I thought I needed to assign tables I would. That said only one of the 4 weddings we attended in the last year with our group of friends had assigned tables - and they had over 200 guest so that was a necessity IMHO. All the others were open seating.

If you have a large number of people attending that do not know each other than - I can see how having assigned seating would be very helpful. But in our case of the 120 people invited - our joint circle of friends is about 75 of that number - The remainder is family and the wedding party - which will have tables reserved.

the cost of the linens, table, centerpieces are all included so it does not matter how many tables are set up - we will have seating for 144 and hope that around 100 attend.

I don't think NOT having assign seating is lazy. The only time I have been to a wedding with assigned seating was when it was a plated dinner and a VERY formal wedding reception. My reception is buffet / station styles. I think its up to the bride and her cultural. I can care less where people sit. As long as you have a seat and comfortable then by all means sit there. Hell you can sit on the floor if that makes you confortable.

We had 135 guests and we assigned tables, but not seats. Figured that since most of the guests were adults, between 6-8 people per table they could figure out where to sit at each table. Our seating chart actually came together quite easily as we just kinda went through the list and said " ok here's a table for my family", "here's one for your family", "here's one for your friends", etc. Everyone seemed to enjoy the people at their table.

I know a most of you are against unassigned seating but culturally (Afghan), we never do assigned seating. We are having 230 guests and no seating chart. There will be reserved tables for our parents and the bridal party and their guests but thats it. Also, since I am Mexican and he is Afghan, everyone always shows up late so it really is first come, first serve.

We have just over 100 and we have assigned seats only because we want our family close to us and we don't want anyone to be left out.. i know I would hate to feel that way. We got the point were we called everyone on our list who didn't write back on the rsvp or we facebook messaged them.

I wasn't going to do assigned seating not because I was being lazy but because I felt my guests were adults that didn't need to be told where to sit. I had been to a few weddings in the past with open seating and everything was fine. With that said I personally changed my mind because it wasn't that I wanted to then tell adults where to sit but more so the fact we could of been with out a table to sit at as a family if we didn't get to one fast enough. After this experience this weekend I changed my mind. I realized how many people will take chairs from other tables for dinner (and really the assigned seating is mainly for dinner anyways). But the ironic thing was with assigned seats I noticed for dinner people actually sat in those seats. Some even got to know people they probably wouldn't of talked to otherwise. I learned that we are trying to join families not keep them separated (which people tend to do). I don't think that either side is wrong. both have pros and cons.

We had 86 guests and assigned tables (buffet dinner). I've only been to one wedding without assigned tables and it was a clusterf*ck. People moved chairs so that some tables had way more chairs than they could fit and some tables were left with only one or two chairs. I was separated from most of my family. Why let this happen? Even the super casual weddings I've attended have had assigned tables.

ETA: Censored myself

My sister got married last weekend and had open seating. I warned her to have a few extra tables, which she did, so that was fine--you need extra table because at some point there might not be seating together available for some couples or families or such.

We also warned her to at least reserve a table or two for family/the bridal party. She didn't, although the groom's parents were divorced, and he then got upset when they came in from taking pictures and realized his parents weren't at the table where he ended up sitting. It was kind of embarrassing and awkward afterwards.

I honestly can't think of any pros to open seating. I spent a lot of time on my seating chart to make sure everyone would be happy. And they were

Also, a lot of guests (30% maybe, it's been a while) didn't RSVP. I had to track them down. I heard from everyone within a day or so. It sucks, but you still have plenty of time to track down those guests and make a seating chart. My seating chart took me one afternoon to sort out (only 86 guests).

We're doing a seating chart because his family can't get along. They're going to be on opposite sides of the room with my family in the middle. But it's up to your guests...can they handle picking their own seats? That should be the only question. It's your wedding...do what you want!

The pro to open is you decide where you sit for the most part and who you sit next too. I did always like that part. Just like a con to assign seating is you could be sat with someone you really didn't want to be sat next to. You have to depend on who ever made the seating chart that they will sit you with people you want to be around. This doesn't always happen and can be miserable when it does. so yeah pro's and con's.