Unable to find Pastor to Marry us.

I'm totally confused here. She's in India and you're here? Why can't you stay together?

Where are you planning on living? If it's here, you can absolutely get married here.

more details please.

We can't stay together because we won't be married by a Pastor. We are only getting a court marriage so that her immigration work can get started.

Exactly - that's the problem, she will have no place to stay in the U.S.. So the best option is to have the ceremony in India so that when she comes here, she can stay with us. Us meaning my parents, my sister, and myself.

I'm still confused. If you are getting a court marriage, why would staying together be a problem if you had your church wedding in the US (and I'm not seeing why that's the worst case scenario because it removes you from an anti-conversion situation)? You seem to be saying that the fact that a pastor has not married you precludes you from staying together. Is this a religious prohibition or I am totally missing your point? I'm also wondering about what her pastor in India does when other congregants, the ones who have been baptized (and I assume have broken the law by being baptized), ask him to perform a wedding ceremony.

Yes. Both of us want to be officially married by a Pastor. Gujarat anti conversion laws prevent us from getting married in a Church.

I guess I'm not getting where the US comes into this.....

I don't see what the questions is. You seem to have answered it yourself. You have the court ceremony, followed by a blessing by the pastor, both in India. When you both get the to US, she can stay with you and your family. If you want an additional celebration when you come to the US, plan a nice dinner out with family and friends. Am I missing something?

Can she come here, share a room with your sister, and the two of you get legally married here (either by a clergy person and/or a civil officiant)?

If the religious ceremony is a non-negotiable for the two of you, it's apparently not going to happen in India (I don't know if and how those laws are enforced). You'll need to have your court wedding in India. Then, you'll have to begin the search for a pastor who will perform a religious ceremony. It will take some work, conversations between your FW and the pastor, and the paperwork. Do that all before she gets here. Planning a big elaborate reception would be difficult, but if it's just the religious ceremony that's important, you can go as low key as you want on a reception.

Another thought -- are their any more open-minded countries closer to India than the US? Wouldn't Europe be preferable to a trans-Atlantic flight?

I don't understand either. A court marriage is a legal marriage, which is an official marriage... right?

In India, do you have to have two ceremonies (one civil, one religious) in order to be legally married? I know you do in some countries. Is this where the issue is? In the US you can do either/or (that's not a perfect example because religious ceremonies have civil aspects but whatever) so that might be why people are confused.

The blessing from the Pastor is only for the engagement. He won't be conducting an official wedding ceremony. Since my Pastor and friends are here, I would have loved for us to get married here.

I'm sure whatever city you live in has hotels for your fiance to stay in temporarily. She comes here, spends a couple nights in a hotel, you get "court married", then she moves in. If you need more time, she could rent an apartment. I think you're creating a problem because you think that there are no other living arrangements for her other than living with you and your family.

Hi frugal - thanks for the suggestion. Hadn't thought of that. That was the purpose of posting here, so that I can explore options I hadn't thought of.

Does your fiance speak English or only Hindi (or something else)? Is that why you don't want her to stay in a hotel here?

Oh, just saw your new comment. Good! problem solved!

Agree with Gator-- she could stay at a hotel or at a friend's house (or if it makes more sense, you could stay at the friend's house, and she stay with your parents, which I assume would be okay?)

Wait, is it that you don't believe that it will be an "official" marriage if it's not religious? I think that's what you're saying, right? A court/civil marriage IS an official marriage. Are her parents or your parents objecting to her living with you without a religious ceremony? If that's the case, she could stay in a hotel for a few days.

Frankly, I'm not even sure what my parents' opinion is about this. It's really just between us. They're just confused by the fact we're having a Christian wedding.

In that case, you really really need to talk to your parents about whether your fiancee can stay with you and them once you are married in India. Reiterate that a court marriage is official. Maybe your parents won't have any issues with her staying with you. You don't know until you ask. I'm guessing you converted? That throws a lot of parents off. But, considering you live with them and your sister, the relationship apparently isn't that bad.

So, if you're both converted Christians, why is it that she can't stay with you? What am I misunderstanding?