Two bachelor parties (venting)

@Anne TOTALLY, the drive is not that bad but it always turns into a full weekend. we need to be better about getting there and staying for a few hours and coming home.

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Well you need to separate the two issues then. That has nothing to do with a bachelor party, or parties.

@mrs fall bride i get it, it feels related to me as we have just recently been discussing it thats all.

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Yeah - luckily my DH is introverted, so even when it's his friends we are hanging out with he doesn't want to stay that long lol.

View Quoted Comment Yes you are overreacting.
My FH's friends and family live about 2-3 hours away. And we drive there about every other weekend as well. Why? Bc it makes him happy and bc I love him. Yes, sometimes it's not convenient, but he has a right to spend time with his family and friends.

2 bachelor parties is not a big deal. You should be happy his friends want to throw him 2. My FH just got back from a weekend boys trip to watch the super bowl. I just did my own thing. Maybe you can have a girls night out or habe dinner with a friend. That's what I do...

View Quoted Comment Agreed. It sounds like the real issue is that you want to scale back on the number of trips and you need to calmly remind your FH that you're fine with his trip to the second bachelor party, but you guys need to agree on a number of trips you are comfortable making to his hometown for the year and that his hometown bachelor party counts as one of those trips.

Me & my fh are both doing 2 parties majority of our group can make the trips but for the few that cant they still want to celebrate so we told them they can plan something & we will do seperate plans with them. But i did say to my gfs it may have to be after the wedding because she wants to do a tube float with me so will depend on the weather. My fh is doiny something with his giys that cant make it a week before the wedding. We can always plan ahead to male sure stuff is done to make it work.

@tanya im happy that works for you guys but it just does not work well for us. we always get home and are like ugh we didnt get anything done this weekend that we actually needed to. yes we got to see everyone but we need to consider ourselves, too. were not going to stop going to see them, we just need to cut back a little and invite people to come visit us as well.

Why on earth does it matter to you if your fiance's friends want to take him out twice instead of once? You should be happy that he has friends who care about him so much.

@red queen i explained.

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You sure did, but guess what? that's life.

At the end of the day, connections are a lot more important than stuff. I reiterate that you and he should feel lucky to have so many good connections that you have this "problem". So much of life is how you frame things to yourself.

But seriously, if you start thinking in terms of whether his amount of socialization is "necessary", to use your word, I think there is already a serious problem that you think you get to make that judgment at all.

No big deal to me

I actually understand your point of having people come to you to visit as we have moved a distance from people as well. However, i dont think this counts its a bachelor party and its not until later this year. Will he be making any trips prior to then or many after? Can you all maintain the house by then? We have a new house and we maintain it when we are off of work or on the weekends we are at home. If one of us is one then we are the one who does it while the other is away. It can be difficult when people expect you to travel over an hour to visit them, which is what i do even longer actually but i always come home doesn't matter the hour. An hour or 1 1/2 isn't a long time to me at all. That's a work commute to be honest. I say give it a pass its an important weekend.

I feel you are overreacting a bit. This shouldn't effect anything. He'll be fine. I am getting 2 bachelorette parties because a couple friends couldn't make it this past weekend so they are talking me out again somewhere. I was content with just the one girls weekend and whoever couldn't make it just missed out, but they insisted I go out again with them. Fine with me. I'm getting married in 5 weeks and it's not going to mess with anything.

I really don't see a problem with that! I understand yall work full time and weekends is the only time to plan but is there things you can do on your own? MY FH is working in Puerto Rico up until the wedding and I'm planning all on my own. I'm not saying our situations are anything similar but I'm just saying there is things you can do alone.

@redqueen huh? I absolutely get a say in how much we spend visiting our family and friends. We have to have balance. No where did I say anything about limiting his socialization.

ETA: "At the end of the day, connections are a lot more important than stuff. "

Where do i say anything about STUFF being more important than family or friends? Seriously? I am saying that we have a home that requires attention, thats a RESPONSIBILITY that we have. Its not stuff.

I think what he has planned is okay. My FHs friends have all types of different things planned for him (at least 3 different ones so far). Some are in state and some are out of state. I told him as long as he isn’t doing anything the last few days leading up to our wedding I don’t care. I just don’t want him to be hung over or tired.

I get what you are saying about feeling like y'all are running back to his HT every other weekend and no one comes to visit. I totally get it. Its not my story but Ive seen friends go through this. I would say let him enjoy it etc. Then after the wedding revisits these trips and these 'friends'.

This is my opinion I think a bachelor party should only be thrown once if the rest of the guys can’t make it or afford they can just see him at the wedding and celebrate there because two bachelor is costing money and time as well but like I said it’s my opinion you don’t have to take my word for it

Feelings aren't something you can control and your feelings can't be wrong. But you can control how you react to your feelings. You don't like that he is having 2 bachelor parties. That's okay, but you can't do anything to change it. Nothing for a wedding is necessary besides an officiant. Just try to let it go honestly.