Two bachelor parties (venting)

Yes, you are overreacting.

Why does this rub you the wrong way, and why does it matter that it's 3 weeks away from the wedding? It also doesn't sound like 2 full weekends, it sounds like 1 weekend away, and 1 night locally.

FH's groomsmen planned his bach party a week before the wedding they are going to Austin for 5 flippin days! Wed-Mon ...we are getting married the next Saturday. I told him I don't mind but he better be sure everything he needs to take care of is done BEFORE he leaves for Austin. Having said that I understand what you are going through. It is frustrating for you, but if he found out how frustrated you are would he be upset and would it ruin his time? I would keep it to myself & let it play out, it may not end up being as annoying as you are picturing.

I'm sort of having two bach. parties. The first one is only about a 2 hour drive and it's only 1.5-2 days, but two of my ladies can't make it (kids and finances). So, they plan on taking me out for dinner and drinks one night, just the three of us. So, mine are low key, not big parties with lots of travel. But no offense, in my opinion I think this is an over action. So he has two parties? I'm not sure I see what the big deal is. Now, are you bothered by it because you're worried you'll be very busy with wedding stuff around that time and he won't be there to help? I can see that being a concern and I would talk to him about it if that's why it's bothering you. Maybe he can put in more work the couple weeks before he travels for his parties. Or maybe the guys who can't make the first trip can come to your town rather than make your FH travel again. It is a party for him after all. Shouldn't they be coming to him?

@mrsfallbride nope its not one night locally. the town he is from is over an hour away and in another state and he wouldnt be coming home that night. and the other bachelor party that is a trip is 3 nights.

I think we each get one bachelor and bachelorette party, i think two is unnecessary.

Yes you’re overreacting. This is pretty common in our group of friends, especially if any members of the wedding party can’t make it to the larger/OOT one.

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Ok fine, so he's going overnight for the second one. I still don't see why this is such a big deal. Are you jealous that he's having 2 and you're only having 1? Do you not trust him to be away? If the answers to those questions are "no, that's not the case", then this should not be an issue for you, or something that you should try to control.

Definitely over reacting. This is common.

@kelly i think part of me is frustrated with both the fact that the second party is not in town for us and also that its close to the wedding. Its not 'local' IMO, its another out of town trip.

I also think you are overreacting. It shouldn't be a big deal.

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But it's only one night away.

If he had one bachelor party and one guys night out, would you have a problem with that? What's really the difference? Are you expecting him to give up all his future guy time, because that won't go well.

What exactly are you worried about? If it's getting stuff done on time, you still have a couple months, so make a schedule to get stuff like your seating chart and DIY finished, and there won't be any issues.

It might be unnecessary, but so are a lot of other things that we enjoy. That doesn't make them bad.

@Mrs. Fall Bride not jealous, trust him plenty.

Sure, it sucks that you give up 2 weekends with him, but I don't really see what there is to be annoyed about. It's very kind that the groomsmen were thinking of everybody in the group. It's always very difficult to find a weekend everyone is free for and can afford. I would just let it go and focus on more important things.

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You're still not answering the question of why it matters that it's only a few weeks away from the wedding. And you're not going, so who cares where it is? If your FH is up for going away, I'm just really not getting why this is such a problem for you. Especially if you say it's not a trust or jealousy issue.

View Quoted Comment It’s a little over an hour away. H and I sometimes drive an hour for dinner on date night. That’s not really OOT.

@darla nope, not expecting anything with regards to him giving up time with his friends.

Tell him to have fun and enjoy himself! Nothing wrong with two parties at all. It's great his friends are wanting to do this for him.

@Mrs. Fall Bride i expect to be pretty busy planning the last few weeks leading up to the wedding - we both work full time and weekends is really the only time we get to do anything wedding related, much less actually get to spend time with eacother.

I told my bridesmaids when they asked if wanted to do something 'destination' that they should make sure everyone could come and if not i would rather stay close to home so everyone can make it. I think I would just have expected the same on his end.

View Quoted Comment But you don’t get to dictate what he tells his friends or what they plan. This is what they planned and if he has no issue with it, send him on his way, tell him to have a great time, and move on. For us, there was nothing left to do at 3 weeks out. Everything had been finalized by that point.

@Sarah didn't say i get to dictate it.

i appreciate the feedback, i can re-evaluate how i feel about it but its not sitting well at this point. I dont think im going to be convinced that two bachelor parties are NECESSARY in this situation.