Traditions vs new trends: what are you keeping and cutting out?

We are fairly “go against the grain”. We aren’t doing bouquet or garter toss, our procession songs are non traditional (steel drum music as well). I’m standing on the right side, not the left. Not changing my name or going my Mrs. and we aren’t having kids, and we aren’t doing a cake cutting.

We didn’t have a bridal party, maid of honor or best man. We didn’t do a bouquet or garter toss. We had a sheet cake instead of a typical 3 tier fancy wedding cake. I didn’t have a train on my dress. We were so so so happy with our decisions!

Traditions we're sticking with: wedding party, first dance, white-ish dress, traditional florals (bouquets, boutonnieres, VIP florals)

New things we're introducing into our friend group: destination wedding, no wedding cake (at least, probably not, jury is still out), non-dancing reception in a restaurant.

Things we're skipping: garter toss, bouquet toss, games and dances, grand exit (couldn't figure out logistics that made sense)

We aren't the first people in my family to have a small wedding though - my cousin also had a wedding of about 40 people but we'll be the first to not be inviting cousins (Christmas is about to be rough but it's okay).

We are going completely against the grain as far as what is traditional in my family. Most notably is the fact we are having a small destination wedding, and it will be adults only. We have an insanely huge family, and all weddings up until now have been 200-400 people, with tons of children. Other traditions we are ditching: I am not wearing a white dress, no flower girl or ring bearer, we are not doing bouquet or garter tosses, no spotlight dances, no speeches from MOH and BM, possibly no wedding cake (other desserts though), no “traditional” wedding food, no grand entrances or exits, and we are extending the celebration to 3 days, rather than just one evening. We are also planning to hire entertainment for the cocktail hour, which no one has ever done in our families.

I’m having champagne dresses, not having traditional wedding food we are having bbq, we are keeping garter/ bouquet toss,

I introduced some polish traditions (like the real ones, probably not those known in the US ;-)) into my french wedding.

So there were money tossing after the ceremony, and collecting the coins after that.

Then we had a special welcome drink at the party (bride and groom both have glasses with some transparent liquid, one is vodka, the other one is water; a person who picks up the vodka will be in charge in the marriage ;-))

I tossed my veil instead of my flowers and my husband did the same with his bow-tie.

Ditching the wedding party, no cakes, no tossing, no band, reception not at the country club, ceremony not in a church, no cocktail hour, no wedding gown, no groom.


Introducing the outdoor ceremony and outdoor reception, boutonnieres for all guests, friend/family officiant, photo guest book, bbq, and my fabulous wife to be.

I walked down the aisle by myself

View Quoted Comment Not sure if we will do a vegas wedding or just local. But most of the other things you listed are pretty close. I'm sure someone will also bring up the something old, something new, something borrowed and something new. There was also the possible variation to the first look where we are on opposites sides of a wall or door to share a few moments before the ceremony. Might go with a silver dress or with a silver layer though.

We are NOT doing a garter toss.


We are going to be introducing a lot of traditional Lithuanian wedding traditions and maybe some pagan ones too…. We will see. I’m already winning with the handfasting as the unity ceremony. 🥰