This Is Off The Subject: But Is It Right To Ask a Man To Sleep On The Couch?

I agree never go to bed angry.....but i wont tell my fh to sleep on the couch and i am sure if he is mad at me he would just go to the couch

If I get that mad at my FH I go and sleep on the couch.

I have mix feelings about this. What if she needs her space just for the night?

I never would ask my husband to sleep on the couch, it isn't fair to him ... if I was ever that angry with him, I would sleep on the couch ... but I try to not go to bed angry and I'm working very hard at not bringing up unpleasant topics at night, while we are lying in bed ... money, apartment issues, chores, etc ...

The only reason my dad ever slept on the couch was when it was to hot in their bedroom or my Mom was extremely sick and for our sake (us kids) he didn't want to get sick so he could take care of us, while Mom recovered. I don't ever recall a moment when my parents didn't sleep in the same bed because they were fighting and they really never fought ...

Couch...my bad...

We never are angry at each other and on the rare occasion we go to bed annoyed, neither one of us sleep and we usually make amends around 1 or 2am... and have make-up sex. LOL.

I cannot imagine making him sleep on the couch (if his snoring is TOO Bad I will sleep on it sometimes)!

Hmmm, I wouldn't want my man to sleep with any coach (man or woman)! Haha, just kidding.

I can't say that I totally agree with the "never go to bed angry" because I think that different people get over things in different ways. I think it is better to talk things out when you have had a chance to cool off so that you don't say things you will regret later and you have time to think about what is really bothering you. Whether that means taking 5 minutes in a seperate room or just going to bed and agreeing to talk about things when you're both refreshed and awake is up to how each person best deals with with the situation. I say, never go to bed saying mean things to each other. And if the home belongs to both of you, neither one has the right to ask the other person to not be allowed in bed. Have you thought about how you would feel if your man made you sleep on the couch if you did something to upset him?

I guess...

I've done it.....but than I end up sleeping on there with him. Than we make up. I just can't stay mad at him. Sometimes I just need some time to cool off alone.

I just don't know!

When we sleep in different rooms it is never actually due to being mad at each other. He snores. Badly. Although it isn't every single night. I never ask my FH to sleep on the couch. Well... I shouldn't say never. 99% of the time if I can't get to sleep because of his snoring or if he wakes me up with it, I will grab my pillow and move out to the couch (used to be futon before we got the most comfortable couch ever). I do recall one time where he was consistently snoring badly for many days straight and I was repeatedly moving out to the futon night after night. I didn't sleep well on the futon because of how hard it is and by the end of that week I was absolutely exhausted so I asked him before we even went to sleep if he would sleep out on the futon that night so I could get a good nights sleep.

Also, I completely agree with Jennifer about never going to bed angry.

If I am really upset about a fight we had that day, FH will either sleep in the guest room or on the couch if I don't want him in bed with me. I would gladly sleep in a different room if I was the one who wanted my space, but he always makes me take the bed.

However, we usually try to fix everything before we go to bed, because it tends to make things worse the longer I sit on them.

Sleeping in different rooms due to illness or snoring is one thing, but sleeping apart because of a fight is unhealthy. It implies that intimacy is something to be withheld or shared based on fleeting emotion, and that is no way to build a relationship.

And for those who are Christians, withholding intimacy is blatantly unBiblical - see 1 Corinthians 4.

I know, but I'm not perfect.

We try not to go to bed angry, but sometimes sleep makes it better - usually if one of us is in a bad mood. Neither of us have slept on the couch/spare bed. I sleep so much better with him anyway!

Even if FH and I are angry at each other we wouldn't do that... just be brats and face opposite directions haha. I'm not sure if I agree with the not going to bed angry, mainly because I tried that with my FH because its really hard for me to sleep if we aren't on good terms. However, if we're both super tired trying to sort it out just does not work and makes it worse.

...my FH and I rarely sleep in bed together because our youngest takes up most of the bed (he sleeps sideways the little rugrat). So he sleeps on the couch and has for a looong time. But I have never told him to sleep out there because I was mad at him. It's his bed just as much as mine and usually once we go to bed, if we're still mad, we're done being mad by morning.

There have been times where I have gone and slept in the guest room. It's usually when I'm tossing and turning and don't want to disturb him.

However, I disagree with the never go to bed angry. Usually, it's a good idea. But there have been times we have gone to bed upset, and it's been good for us. Sleeping lets us get rest, and time. It gives us perspective. Sometimes not going to bed angry just makes thing worse. You get exhausted, and that doesn't help how you are communicating with your spouse. But I don't think you should go to bed seperately when you are angry. Sometimes the physical closeness can help. There have been times we've gone to bed angry, and I wake up in the middle of the night curled up next to DH. Those few moments of complete peace really put the fight into perspective and let us resolve the conflict without screaming at each other all night.

I would never ask my FH to sleep on the couch nor would I do it. That is no way to solve a problem and our bed is our sanctuary--not something to be used as a weapon in a fight (which is how I view the whole sleeping on the couch issue). Plus, I agree with Meghan in that the physical proximity can help solve disagreements and help them in perspective.

Why, the bed is where we make up!!