Things that didn't go as planned

Which were really important to me. Looking back now that we have our photos, I wish we had gotten more posed photos of DH and I as well. As far as reception goes, everything went great! We do very slightly regret our choice of DJ but we knew what we were getting ourselves into. We paid $360 for her. She got the job done and was great at getting guests on the dance floor and playing games, but she isn't usually a wedding DJ. She usually DJ's for bars. Other than that, I think those were our biggest things. We missed out on a lot of photo opportunities to insure that our ceremony would be outside in front of the lake instead of inside the reception all.

Also, I had planned on writing "vows" for DH to read privately and because of the rush that didn't get done.

Our coordinator we had been working with for a year and a half called last minute (day before the wedding) to say she wouldn't be there. Not a huge deal but really worried me.

And for those of you who are approaching your wedding date, do not stress over things like this. Something will go wrong, you cannot prepare for everything. It always works out though.

Thanks for the advice!!

Time is usually at the root of most mishaps (that and not-really-wedding vendors.....) Everything takes more time than most people think and it's amazing how 15 minutes here and there can snowball. I always recommend to my couples to build in extra time, which is really helpful in a lot of cases.

I'm glad you got to get your ceremony in before it rained, and you look beautiful! Congratulations!

The only thing that didn't really go as planned for us was our DJ. I noticed he hadn't arrived an hour and 40 minutes before our ceremony was to start, so I texted him to see what was up. No response. So an hour before, my mom called him and he said he was just loading up to leave. He arrived 25 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to start. He had to set up in such a rush that he forgot or misunderstood the cues DH told him for when to start the processional music. He started it way too soon and ended up repeating the song (the song was long enough that even one time through was more than sufficient). He had to send his wife back to ask me if they should let it play out the second time or fade it out. And then during our reception, rather than referring to the day of flow sheet we filled out, he kept coming to us to discuss what should happened and when... Except for the bouquet and garter toss. He completely ignored our song choice for the bouquet toss and played Single Ladies instead. He gave no warning that he was gonna do the bouquet toss, so I didn't have the toss bouquet handy because I didn't even know where it was stashed. So all the single women were just kind of standing there waiting while I was freaking out not only because it was the wrong song, but because I didn't know where the bouquet was. I found it but still didn't know what to do because I didn't want that song played. He finally got the correct song going (even said over the mic, "Ok, NOW we have the right song!" and we proceeded. Needless to say, we didn't give him the tip we set aside for him. I was so stressed out leading up to the ceremony because of his late arrival. Not something I should have had to worry about!

@Beth L. That's awful!! I wouldn't have tipped either! How do you show up 20 minutes before the ceremony!!

The biggest thing that happened (and luckily no one told me that day) was our cake falling. One of my aunts is a baker and made our wedding cake. It was beautiful and we loved it. The morning of the wedding her, my uncle, and my dad drove carefully to be venue with the cake in the trunk tucked carefully in the back part of it. Apparently they had to make a sudden stop on the way and the top tier of our wedding cake separated and squished in the trunk. My aunt started crying because it's our wedding cake. My dad, very calm, made a stop at our local stop and shop and got a cake in the bakery section. At the venue my aunt, uncle, and dad frosted the cake and did other stuff to make it look flawless. We saw it at the reception and we thought it looked beautiful (we were not told until the next day). I am just so happy no one told me because I would have lost it and cried. I laugh at it and my aunt is baking us another top tier for our one year anniversary.

Other than that, nothing else went wrong (that I know of). But things go wrong and sometimes they are out of our control. Besides, now we also have a funny story to tell people about our wedding day.

Our flaw for the day was a cake episode also. My friend made our cake and was almost in an accident on the way to the reception hall to deliver it. 2 of the 5 layers slid off her seat. They were edible, but not presentable. She apparently was a hysterical mess and ended up not coming to the wedding or reception. Thankfully she had delivered our flowers to the rehearsal and my friend pinned on corsages and boots for me. I had no idea this happened until we arrived at the reception ( 30 mins or so late due to getting stuck in traffic taking pictures and having to drop people off at the ceremony place to get their cars). The staff told me and I looked at my phone to a bunch of missed calls from her. My first answer was " Is she ok? It's a cake, Is She ok? Yes she is. I ended up stepping out of the reception after dinner to call her an check on her. She was still crying over it. I told he I am not upset and glad she is ok and she is absolutely still welcome to come. I was thankful for all she did for me etc. Unfortunately she did not come, but I wrote her a wonderful thank you card and gave her a tip in addition to what I was paying her for cake ingredients.

My other regret is there is no picture of hubs and I with his son only. Other than that everything went pretty smooth. Be prepared for people not to show up, I think we had about 12-15 but a few showed that I didn't plan on. ( My cousin son who was supposed to be out of state with National Guard and ended up not going), and the singer and her kids came. (Step sister of FG's Mother who is life long friend).

The rain was one- we had to nix the outdoor ceremony and the cocktail hour-- that I could have handled. Just as I was making peace with the rain, we got frantic phone calls that the second bus didn't stop at the other hotel to pick up overflow. We were on the phone 15 minutes before the scheduled ceremony trying to negotiate them to drive back (they didn't- they said we never talked about it- it was IN the timeline I gave them). People carpooled or Ubered, and my brother had to figure out an uber for our great aunts remotely. The ceremony was 30 minutes late- luckily my reception place was FANTASTIC- they kept giving everyone champagne.

Again, we could have handled that. The bus driver who was doing the rounds at the end of the reception was constantly late, surly and didn't bother to call anyone on his call list to keep us updated. My mom and brother were out in the rain trying to figure out logistics and getting people on the bus. The last pickup was supposed to be at 1am (when it ended) but it didn't show up until 2am. Again, our reception people were fantasic and kept the bar open an additional hour for free- we were stressed but our friends were drunk and happy!

And on the cherry on top, we get to the after party in the hospitality suite around 3:30am. Everyone is having a great time... Except my MOH who locked herself in the bathroom drunk and crying. My mom (still up) insisted that I stay with her (my other BMs were in there making sure she was ok) After 30 minutes of negotiating with her and getting her to bed, I just went to bed and bawled.

However, I've had people earnestly tell me how it was the best wedding they've been to. Our DJ was awesome and our bartenders were amazing- so the lesson is- if your guests are fed, tipsy and dancing- that's all they care about don't sweat the small details, and know what might be devestating to you isn't noticed or seen as a small hiccup to your guests!

@Susan M. Same thing with us, I believe there were 15 - 20 who didn't show up. Most that never gave us a heads up. We were paying $20 a person for food too.

I burned my arm with a third degree burn, thank God I didn't feel it for 2 days, a song was being played by the ceremony was

played twice but I

didn't mind.

Officiant was a

little late, but think

that's it.

DH and I had written our own vows, but didn't actualy write them down to read to each other. So, I went first *completely* forgot what I was supposed to say, but thought I ad-libbed pretty well. Then DH started and he started with, "I love your boogery sneezes..." I was so annoyed, I wanted to whack him with my bouquet! But then he kept going and got all choked up (which I hadn't) talking about how he wanted to spend his life with me, so I forgave him.

Overall our day went very smoothly, everything happened on time, and we only had minor hiccups.

We had major pouring rain so had to move the ceremony indoors. That was ok because we had a good backup plan, it was just not what we preferred. I bought 11 umbrellas for bridal party photos because I saw a cool umbrella shot on pinterest. It was raining way too hard for that to work. Our umbrella shots are really funny but nothing we can put on our wall.

The mayor forgot to invite our guests to be seated after I walked in so they were standing at their seats for the entire ceremony. It was luckily a short ceremony.

I had picked out a hashtag that I loved but forgot to make signs for it, so nobody knew about that.

The last issue was something that I didn't know about until later. There was a wedding after ours and although I should have had the bridal suite until my reception was over at 4 pm, apparently the later bride called my venue coordinator crying because her getting-ready space had fallen through, so my MOH and one of my bridesmaids cleaned up the entire bridal suite and moved all of our stuff into the venue coordinator's office where it was never left unattended. They did this while we were having our family photos taken. If I needed anything, my MOH or bridesmaid went and got it. I had no idea that it was because they didn't want me to know we were moved out of the bridal suite early.

I elbowed my ex in the face during our carefully practiced first dance. So much for all those ballroom dance lessons! Luckily he thought it was hilarious. I was mortified

I ended up caving to my mom and inviting my brother. He brought my sister that I hadn't spoken to in years. They didn't even congratulate us or even talk to us. Most of my bridal party didn't arrive for the getting ready pictures. One didn't arrive until 30 minutes prior to the ceremony. My bustle didn't hold. No one noticed that things were going wrong other than my sister being there. I never even saw my sister other than a quick glimpse. Everyone said how beautiful the wedding was.

We had lots of issues with our hotel. When we first arrived to get ready, they told us we were in a ballroom. Um, what? There was some confusion and finally they put us in the conference room we were expecting. I had not seen the conference rooms and it was fine, but not exactly pretty. Luckily there were windows so the beauty team had natural light, and we thought to bring some full-length mirrors. They had put fruit, bagels and coffee in the room which was nice. The bathroom was across the lobby though, so every time anyone needed to go they had to walk across the lobby in their robes and getting ready clothes which was kind of awkward - and I did see some of our guests in the lobby as they were checking it, although before I had my dress on. It didn't bother me but it might have bothered some brides. In hindsight, I wish I had asked to see the room we would be getting ready in. Our hotel also really screwed up rooms. We had issues with our room block - they were bought by another company and changed names halfway through the process which no one told me until I discovered it myself when their website no longer worked. They didn't transfer the rooms from our original block to the new hotel's computer system, which we didn't realize until my cousin called to make reservations and asked for a room next to his parents (my aunt/uncle) and was told there was no reservation by that name, when my aunt had made it as soon as our STDs were sent out. They told guests that there were no more king beds left in the block, which was untrue, they also told guests the wrong room rate- it was terrible, no one at the front desk seemed to understand what they were doing. Finally all that got fixed, but then we had issues with the rooms the day of the wedding too! For example, they gave my parents the wrong room, and then they gave my SIL a key to a room that was actually - my parents!! Luckily no one was undressing or something as she came in and luckily she knew them and it wasn't some random person! My BMs all requested early check-in, but they allowed a friend of our's that arrived to check in to her room before my BM was told her room was ready (even though it was the same room category). That same BM never got a welcome bag, which makes me wonder how many other people in the bridal party or other guests never got theirs (I know some did, though!). They only checked my DH into half of his room (it had a connecting door, but no one had access to the other room to get through the door). At one point, my mom was so frustrated she was in tears! Luckily I didn't hear about that until later. We picked this hotel primarily for its location and that they had a nice bar there, where we could have the "after party". We had many OOT family and friends, and our reception ended at 11pm, so it was very important to us to keep the night going! We got it in writing that the bar would be open for us until they had to close by law before getting the room block there. In advance and also the morning of, my dad spoke to the GM and gave him a heads up about what time the shuttle would arrive back to the hotel and to anticipate guests at the bar. When we got back for the after party, there was only ONE bartender on duty and he acted like we were a HUGE inconvenience to him! I mean, this guy must have just HATED money. He was being very rude, straight up ignoring people, actually refused to make a drink he thought was too complicated. It was so bad my dad got the manager on duty who was very apologetic and stepped in as a second bartender and kind of saved it, but the service was so bad my family STILL talks about it! In the long run, it caused a lot of unnecessary headaches and frustrations and I REALLY wish I had picked another hotel for our room block and to get ready in. I didn't really do my due diligence reading reviews, etc. before picking it!

As for our actual wedding and reception, there were very minor hiccups. We took pics before the wedding at the venue, and my MIL was 30 minutes late to pictures - in hindsight I should have told her a different time, KNOWING she is ALWAYS late, but for some reason on her son's wedding day I thought she'd have her shit together. Luckily it was SIL on the phone yelling at her mom, not me We moved our pictures around to accommodate for her lateness but unfortunately because she was so late we were not able to get all the family pictures done before the ceremony started. We ended up taking more pictures than intended after the ceremony to make up or it, so while we were able to dismiss our bridal party and family to cocktail hour, DH and I never made it there like we had hoped.

The venue had the wrong linens on the outdoor tables. Not a big deal, but I was kind of annoyed- like, why ask me what I wanted if you weren't going to listen? They also had a linen tablecloth on a table we brought for our programs, but then by the ceremony someone had removed that table cloth for some reason and I really didn't think it looked as good and wasn't pleased that was my guests' first impression. I was also annoyed by that because no one asked me about it at all. Why put it on to only take it off, why wouldn't someone have gotten my input on that when I was right there??

We brought all our decor to the venue days before the wedding CLEARLY labeled, for the venue staff to put out. I am super type A - I had boxes labeled with what was in it, each ITEM in the box labeled in case it wasn't clear what it was, AND I DREW A LABELED DIAGRAM lol. Still, many of the items were in the wrong place. Some of it was really inappropriate- for example, pictures of my husband's dead uncles on the guest book table. WTF? Since we arrived to the venue before guests for pictures, I was luckily able to move things around to where I wanted them but I would have been very upset if guests had seen them first. Another example: I had 2 toasting glasses - one set my brother gave me that we used at the sweetheart table, one set my best friend gave me that I wanted displayed on the cake table. They were mixed up and then the one's my bff gave me never made it out for some reason, which I didn't notice until it was too late. It made me wonder if maybe the staff did not read English very well, because I couldn't think of another reason that would've happened unless they just didn't care that much, which would be disheartening.

The coordinator at the venue I had been working with since we booked was NOT there on my wedding day. The owner was there, and there was another person I had never met but had been told about acted as the coordinator. I actually think a lot of the little hiccups could have been avoided if the person I had been working with was there. Again, I was very annoyed by the fact no one told me that she would not be there! And why would she bother asking me to draw a diagram and taking notes on things I wanted like linens, if the person "subbing" for her was not going to follow them accurately?

We had a large bridal party, so we had 3 songs for our bridal party intro. I thought he should have done a better job of playing the songs at the chorus of the song and/or drawing out the song to let it play a bit before he started the intros. He let the parents' song play way too long and it bled into our BP intro which was NOT what I wanted, but luckily he realized it and changed it halfway through, and it actually "fit" into the little intro dance my friends had planned so guests probably thought it was meant to be that way! Again, for our intro as husband and wife I wish he had drawn the song out a bit more to play it at the "peak" or chorus (we intro'd to "Crazy in Love" by Beyonce). During the dancing portion of the reception, he played some lame like 70s disco songs at the beginning before we QUICKLY put an end to that and got some actual good dance music on. After that, the dance floor was packed all night and all our guests told us what a great time they had! So it worked out, but I was annoyed I had to correct him (I think he was trying to appeal to diverse age groups).

Lastly, my parents messed up the anniversary dance - if anyone's not familiar, it's a dance where all married couples are asked to come to the floor, and the DJ announces years - the newlyweds are off first, then couples married less than 5 years, then 10, 15, 20, etc. until the longest married couple. My parents were not the longest married, but their wedding anniversary is 3 days after ours and they have been married over 30 years so I wanted to honor them with an announcement about that during the dance. Unfortunately, the DJ said "all couples to the floor" instead of MARRIED couples, and my parents weren't even on the dance floor when the song started!! Whoops. He came out to me and asked what I wanted to do, and I said to forget the plan and just dedicate the song to my parents at the end, which he did.

After writing all that, I want to emphasize that this is being SUPER NIT-PICKY and NONE of these "issues" really impacted my wedding day in a negative way. So as the OP said, things will go wrong and know that when you plan a large-scale event with that many moving parts, its nearly impossible for you to control everything. So just roll with it and remember that likely, no one but you will ever know that it didn't happen the way you planned it!

@annakay511 oh my gosh!

We are 45 mph winds. Oh well can't control that just embrace it and take pictures.

There is no excuse for an officiant or any other vendor to be late.

Things that didn't go as planned:

1. 3 days before wedding I get a call from the salon doing all of our hair/makeup. The stylist/MUA that was going to do me (whom I had done a trial with 2 months before) has up and quit. Ended up fine- the woman who did me was fantastic and I loved my hair and make-up!

2. Day of- groom realizes he doesn't have his shirt in with his tux... (I refrained from asking why he didn't check before leaving the store...) luckily the store was pretty close and he got one and was back in time for our first look.

3. First dance- We picked "Crazy for You" by Madonna. Should be easy to find/play on iTunes, right? Nope! DJ must have had a mix of the song because as soon as the music started we both stopped dancing... was def. not Crazy for You... after a couple more attempts of playing the song, I went and talked to the DJ... we ended up just going with the song that was playing... after a min or so of the song playing, you could hear the beats for Crazy for You playing.. and then the lyrics... then the end of the song was the first song that was playing... that's why we think it was mix/mash-up of two Madonna songs.... I'm still a little miffed over this flub... This was NOT a hard song to find!

There were a few other issues with the DJ- nothing major but I just don't feel like he really prepared for everything or really listened to everything we talked about... However, the ceremony was perfect. Music, pacing, etc he did a great job with the ceremony!