Monique
Rockstar December 2019

Thank you cards obsolete??

Monique, on July 17, 2019 at 4:16 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 83

So let me start this out by saying I plan on sending them out. However, I have gone to two weddings so far this year that did not do thank you cards. Both weddings we attended, stayed the whole time, as well as bought them a gift. I’m wondering if it becoming something that is not done as often...
So let me start this out by saying I plan on sending them out. However, I have gone to two weddings so far this year that did not do thank you cards. Both weddings we attended, stayed the whole time, as well as bought them a gift. I’m wondering if it becoming something that is not done as often anymore as it used to be? Or did they just not follow etiquette?

83 Comments

  • Katherine
    Expert July 2019
    Katherine ·
    Yeah that is so uncommon I’m honestly wondering if your thank you cards are being delivered to the wrong address.
  • Monique
    Rockstar December 2019
    Monique ·
    View Quoted Comment
    I highly doubt it. We got both invites just fine. ☹️
  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
    View Quoted Comment
    I am not worried about guest in wedding stealing my identity.
  • Amber
    Devoted September 2019
    Amber ·
    Do you send thankyou cards for people whom attended the wedding but didn’t give a gift? I figure I would only send to those who gifted. And I also have favors for everyone as well.
  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
    View Quoted Comment
    But you just get a gift from someone and not acknowledge it? I mean I am sure a thank you Email can be nice to. But I like getting things in mail so I am doing cards. Bought them at dolly store.
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    View Quoted Comment
    I never said that. I said a phone call is a lot more personal and efficient. Manners exist, it's just that regular mail and handwriting all the thank you cards is slow and why some people never do them.
    Would you rather a phone call saying thank you or not being thanked at all? I'll take a phone call.
  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Sorry I did not see phone call. Honestly I prefer not, phone call there is awaked silence them so much small talk. But to each his own.
  • M
    November 2019
    Mrs. ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Curious: To the 36 year old who never saw TY cards being used.

    Where are you from?

    My mom was not born in the USA. Where she came from, it was more personal to give a thank you in person. (And that sufficed.) If the gift was from someone you didn't see, then a thank you note was mailed.

    She had to learn that in the US, a thank you note was the norm, and expected, as it was the mannerly thing to do. In the places across the country where I have friends and relatives, it still is. Even kids are taught to send a thank you card for birthday gifts received.

    And you can send them for someone doing a nice thing, too! Or for after you have an interview... Any time you are grateful and would like to give thanks. It's not just for grandmas and aunts.

  • Beginner August 2019
    ·
    We'll definitely be sending out thank you cards, saying thank you never goes out of style
  • Emily
    Expert April 2020
    Emily ·

    I was told by a former bride to bring thank you cards on the plane ride to your honeymoon and write them on the plane. We have a 12 hour flight so I plan on taking this advice! Everything will still (mostly) be fresh in our minds and hopefully we won't forget anyone.

  • B
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    Billie ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Self absorbed bride. If they took the time to send you a gift, be gracious enough to send a personalized thank you note, no matter what they do with it. Get some manners

  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Excuse you? Did you read what I wrote about a phone call? Why send a generic thoughtless card when I can have a personal conversation? Maybe you should get some class and better reading skills before calling someone names.
  • M
    Just Said Yes October 2019
    Maria ·
    Absolutely not. It's the least you can do. Make it personal and handwritten and show your gratitude
  • Alexandra
    Beginner February 2020
    Alexandra ·

    I'm not sending formal invitations. We're doing e-vites. (And a phone call invitation to the 2 elderly family members without email). I'm not sure how to handle thank you cards, since paper cards in the mail would be inconsistent. We can send email thank-yous through the same website as the e-vites. Or I might buy generic thank-you post cards on from Target and fill it out on the honeymoon, like someone here suggested.

  • Valentina
    Devoted September 2019
    Valentina ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Same! Been to so many weddings and hadn’t received one thank you card didn’t expect one either, even been a bridesmaid 7 times and didn’t expect any gifts for standing up, I only got a gift once and that’s probably because it was my sister🤷‍♀️. Maybe it’s a cultural thing🤷‍♀️ I attended a wedding on my FH side of the family for the first time this past October and we received a thank you card from them but never have I gotten one before.
  • Suzanne
    Just Said Yes September 2019
    Suzanne ·

    I went to a family member's wedding about 2 1/2 years ago. I had to fly 4 people up from the south to the northeast, get a car, get a hotel, stay at a special hotel the night of the wedding, nevermind the wedding gift, the outfits, the food for the stay. She had save the date cards, very expensive invites, menu cards on the plates, caricature drawings, liquor for a thank you gift (the 6 of us don't drink). And I NEVER got a thank you card. I don't believe she didn't have them, with all the other invitation papers she had. Sad to think that you cant get a thank you for all that you do to attend a family member's wedding!

  • Monique
    Rockstar December 2019
    Monique ·
    View Quoted Comment
    She said she was sending them....
  • Monique
    Rockstar December 2019
    Monique ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Some people are rude. I think your thought has merit. 😃 and you said you would send them anyways so I’m not sure why she said that 😑
  • Anna
    Devoted April 2020
    Anna Online ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Has to be. But I do see a big thank you on the invites. All the names are on it. I feel like some invitations are books lol. They also get thanked in the reception. The dj will say their names, also the couple or the quincenera will go up and thank everyone for coming and all the sponsors. So even if thank you cards are not sent out, everyone is thanked somehow.
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Clearly missed that part.
    Like I said I will send them, I just think there's no way to make them not sound generic after about 10 of them so to me a phone call is much more personal and gracious than my generic stationary. I've also never been given a thank you card for a wedding or shower gift so I don't think it's as important. I give a gift because I want to, not because I expect something in return.
    But to each their own I suppose 🤷

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