Monique
Rockstar December 2019

Thank you cards obsolete??

Monique, on July 17, 2019 at 4:16 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 83

So let me start this out by saying I plan on sending them out. However, I have gone to two weddings so far this year that did not do thank you cards. Both weddings we attended, stayed the whole time, as well as bought them a gift. I’m wondering if it becoming something that is not done as often...
So let me start this out by saying I plan on sending them out. However, I have gone to two weddings so far this year that did not do thank you cards. Both weddings we attended, stayed the whole time, as well as bought them a gift. I’m wondering if it becoming something that is not done as often anymore as it used to be? Or did they just not follow etiquette?

83 Comments

  • Teresa
    Dedicated April 2020
    Teresa ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Me too. This is the first time I heard about thank you cards being a big deal. Honestly I dont want to send them and now that I read all of these comments makes me weird like maybe it's wrong to not send it? Lol I've been to lots of wedding & only got 1 thank you card and I was like ok and trash
  • Teresa
    Dedicated April 2020
    Teresa ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Me too Monique. I've never heard of that and didnt think it was a big deal like everyone says. Honestly I dont think I'm sending any. Haha
  • Christine
    Devoted September 2020
    Christine ·

    That's so interesting! They've definitely been a thing at every wedding I've gone to, but I have had some friends who sent their thank you cards very late (like 9 months after the wedding). Maybe the bride and groom are just very behind schedule for their thank yous.

    I'm definitely sending them for mine since I think it's a non-negotiable part of wedding etiquette. We just got our first gift this month from my FMIL - who's one of only a few people who even knows our registry information at this point, so I was shocked to see that she'd already started buying stuff for us! - so we ordered some cute thank you cards in our wedding colors to get the ball rolling on that.

  • Sharon
    Devoted October 2020
    Sharon ·
    I think its just rude to not a send a thank you card and take a minute to let someone know you appreciate them and their gift. What's the big deal? Even if you have a lot to do just do a few every day and be grateful you have so many generous, supportive people on your life. I enjoy getting them and don't throw them right in the trash. It's a small thing and a nice personal touch, which there are too few of as it is.
  • Monique
    Rockstar December 2019
    Monique ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Yes this is how I am feeling having not received one from the people who’s weddings I attended
  • Lady ·

    No, it's still the right thing to do - people just suck and don't care about being polite. You should always receive a thank you note for a gift and send one if you get a gift for your wedding. It's just lazy and entitled not to send one.

  • Trista
    Rockstar September 2019
    Trista ·
    I'm super crafty and got bored after finishing my diys for wedding decor, so I actually handmade a bunch of thank you cards to send after the wedding! I couldn't imagine not sending thank yous forna wedding!
  • Sasha
    Dedicated September 2019
    Sasha ·
    I didn’t receive them for the last two weddings I went to either... they were both in May & June so maybe still on their way. I’ll be sending them for sure.
  • J
    Just Said Yes August 2019
    Joanna ·
    My future mother-in-law provided my thank you notes and was nervous I wouldn’t be sending them out on time. After I saw how upset she was at not receiving a “thank you” from another wedding a while back, I realized how big of a deal it was to send a proper handwritten thank you. Now I get upset (whereas before, I didn’t really notice)!


    Emily Post says that thank you’s are a must. You can get nice ones at Michaels online for a reasonable price. Why risk being rude, especially if you can maybe make somebody else’s day by a simple thank you note?
  • Mcellist
    Super March 2019
    Mcellist ·

    Definitely send them. I sent ours because 1) we got a lot of money from our guests. Almost $2,000 worth. 2) I had one friend who I ended up sending 3 follow up cards to because she texted and asked WHY she never got one. Turns out her mail was being mishandled... but imagine the weirdness of that conversation if I wouldn't have already sent her one in the mail?

    Whether or not it's outdated, I think if anything at all, it shows you have some manners.

  • Monique
    Rockstar December 2019
    Monique ·
    View Quoted Comment
    I am sending them. I was just curious of other opinions.
  • Monique
    Rockstar December 2019
    Monique ·
    View Quoted Comment
    My parents gave us ours lol. They were pretty adamant that you do not forget them.
  • Mcellist
    Super March 2019
    Mcellist ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Gotcha! Yep. I think most people's consensus is to just put them in the mail.

  • Meghan
    Super October 2019
    Meghan ·
    They didn’t follow etiquette! I’ve received thank you cards for every shower, bachelorette party, and wedding I’ve attended to this year. And I also plan on sending them. I think it is the nice, and correct, thing to do.
  • M.W.
    VIP June 2019
    M.W. ·

    Thank you cards in my opinion are a must! This new generation is doomed because they do not do such things anymore. I attended a wedding last year gave a gift and did not get a thank you card. I just got married June 8th 2019 and my thank you cards were already signed sealed and delivered. I'm an old soul and believe in sending a good ol fashioned thank you note. I use to sit with my grandparents when I was little and help them write out little thank you notes to friends and family that they had received birthday gifts from.

  • ASMini914
    Super September 2019
    ASMini914 ·
    View Quoted Comment

    If someone gave you a gift you should thank them for it. When you think about your wedding, guests are going to leave cards in a generic pile of cards, it is the nice thing to do to say thank you to them.

    I think if you've sent your wedding invitations out by email, and you want to email a thank you note, fits your theme. If you are hosting a nice formal wedding, where you've sent out formal mailed invites, you really should mail thank you cards to those guests who were kind enough to give you a gift.

    personally I cannot imagine not sending a thank you card to someone who has given me and my FH a gift to celebrate our marriage.

  • Teresa
    Dedicated April 2020
    Teresa ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Every wedding is different and every culture is different as well. One should not be judged if they dont send thank you cards. A simple "thank you for coming to my wedding" should be sufficient. In the end it's your wedding you do you and do as you please.
  • Kat_
    Super October 2019
    Kat_ ·
    Absolutely! According to Emily Post “all guests should receive a thank you card for attending. Not just gifts”.
  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
    When were the weddings? People still do thank you cards sometimes they take longer the. Regular thank you cards to write out.
  • S
    Just Said Yes October 2019
    Shellie ·

    Class never goes out of style. Id say, be sure to send the handwritten thank you notes. Its what I'm going to be doing.

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