Rockstar December 2019

Thank you cards obsolete??

Monique, on July 17, 2019 at 4:16 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 83

So let me start this out by saying I plan on sending them out. However, I have gone to two weddings so far this year that did not do thank you cards. Both weddings we attended, stayed the whole time, as well as bought them a gift. I’m wondering if it becoming something that is not done as often...
So let me start this out by saying I plan on sending them out. However, I have gone to two weddings so far this year that did not do thank you cards. Both weddings we attended, stayed the whole time, as well as bought them a gift. I’m wondering if it becoming something that is not done as often anymore as it used to be? Or did they just not follow etiquette?


  • Monique
    Rockstar December 2019
    Monique ·
    View Quoted Comment
    That’s what I am doing as well
  • MD
    Super July 2019
    MD ·
    The last 2 weddings we went to we also didn't get a thank you, and we had to travel for both. But I do think some people just don't see it as necessary anymore, but we will absolutely be sending out thank yous.

  • Heidi
    Dedicated September 2019
    Heidi ·
    Every single wedding, I have been to, never once did I get a thank you card. I just assume my State lacks proper etiquette.

    I will be sending them out and including a personal message in each one.
  • Jenna
    Super October 2019
    Jenna ·

    They just didn't follow etiquette. I will tell you that I've been bitter about not receiving a thank you note from a wedding we attending the first week of September last year (FH was a groomsmen, we traveled in for a long holiday weekend and still gave a nice gift, and there was no wedding party thank you gift so this lack of thank you card really bothered me), and we finally received it a few weeks ago. I personally think WAY too long went by, but I guess better late than never. Maybe they'll be sending them later on?

  • Cassandra7
    Super August 2006
    Cassandra7 ·

    You have (traditionally) a year to send a wedding present. You have a couple of weeks to send a (hand-written, detailed, specific, sincere) thank-you note for a gift.

  • Futuremrsv
    Super October 2020
    Futuremrsv ·
    I think its pretty poor etiquette when someone does not send a thank you card, people get offended and remember stuff like that.
    My cousin got married years ago and never sent thank you cards for the shower or wedding people were highly offended
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    There have always been people without the good manners to say thank you for a gift. These people were rude if they did not send one. It takes five minutes or less to fill out a note card, or simply write a letter. Normal stationery, not a printed card, is fine. . . . But the great majority do send them. Probably once every 20 or so weddings there will be no thank you, every couple of years, out of all the weddings, showers, baby showers, anniversaries, etc. Graduations and birthdays are another story. Even for very substantial gifts, recently teens and twenty something people have mostly not been thanking us. They seem to think they are entitled to their gifts. . . . . What I find strange is the number of people on websites like wedding wire, who are under the mistaken idea that they should send a thank you to people who give no gift. The thank you is only for gifts or services. The hosts provide the event and hospitality. Guests thank them for that, or give a hostess gift or a wedding gift. Hosts do not need to thank guests for coming . People are clueless sometimes.
  • Tessa
    Devoted November 2019
    Tessa ·
    View Quoted Comment
    I havent gotten any from the May weddings I attended yet, but I also think they're on the way. Especially if the couple honeymoons and then moves in together. Its hard to get them out right away.
  • C
    Super July 2019
    Crystal ·
    I've never gotten one but we will be sending them out.
  • Megan
    Savvy June 2019
    Megan ·
    ALWAYS SEND THANK YOUS. I've seen people go as far as sending thank you cards to people who wished them a happy wedding day on Facebook!
  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
    Honestly I've only ever been to like one wedding that had thank you cards aha. I did it for mine though because just felt polite to
  • Florida Marlins
    Expert October 2017
    Florida Marlins ·

    That was rude of them. Thank you notes are still a thing!

  • M
    Super September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba ·
    Follow up question: “✍️.” will not be possible as my and FH’s 🖐writing is not the best. I normally type and print out what I want to convey so that the receiver will be able to read it. Who has a better solution?

    Another facet of that is: Do you really want to send a sample of your handwriting and signature to a family acquaintance with a sketchy relative that could (possibly) steal your identity and cost you money?
  • Melinda
    September 2020
    Melinda ·
    I think it is RUDE NOT to send a thank you note I spent my own my money, my time to buy gift IF you do NOT acknowledge Do NOT think you will get Any more
  • Yam
    VIP September 2019
    Yam ·
    I never got a thank you card for the weddings I went to but since I bought off a registry the bride and groom usually came up and thanked me for the gift. As long as they say thank you, I don’t care how they do it.
    I’m doing thank you cards because I have some older guests that would be miffed by a phone call but since I have a small and local guest list, I’m going to thank every guest with cookies(I bake for a hobby) along with the cards.
  • Cori
    Devoted June 2020
    Cori ·
    I honestly don’t expect a thank you card nor want one. I gave the gift from the heart and don’t feel like I need anything in return. Why did you give a gift if you expect something in return? Doesn’t seem like a gift to me. Plus they are a waste of resources. Most “etiquette” is nonsense anyways. There are so many other ways to show gratitude. I’ll probably get flack for saying it, but whatever. It’s gonna change my mind.
  • Sherrie
    Expert August 2019
    Sherrie ·
    View Quoted Comment
    This. That's pretty bad. Thank you cards are still a needed and expected part of the wedding.
  • Monique
    Rockstar December 2019
    Monique ·
    View Quoted Comment
    It’s not that something was expected in return. It’s the principle of the thing. For something like a wedding gift people should at least extend a thank you. Would you thank people for giving you a birthday gift? Tell them how much you enjoyed or appreciated what they got for you? Most likely yes. It’s the same idea. For a wedding some sort of thanks should be extended. Verbal written something.
  • Cori
    Devoted June 2020
    Cori ·
    View Quoted Comment
    When people are literally basing their friendships on people not sending a thank you card for any occasion, I think that’s where the etiquette stops and it just becomes a monotonous expectation to grind out meaningless pieces of paper. Simply reading this feed is enough proof that thank you cards are a cult and nothing more. What kind of a world do we live in where you NEED to be thanked? Like I said before. They are a waste of resources and DEMANDING a thank you in return only to boost up your own ego is ridiculous. Yeah you spent your time and money, but why are you doing that then if you are not giving from the heart. I don’t need a thank you of any sort. I’m comfortable in my choice of spending time and money on a person enough to not demand something, even a thank you, in return. If you need a reminder about how wonderful of a person you are because you did something maybe seek therapy. Gifting shouldn’t be this stressful.
  • Andrea
    Super October 2019
    Andrea ·
    It should go without saying that when someone takes the time to choose, purchase and give you a gift-you should write a thank you note. It’s just good manners. I say this as I’m elbow-deep in bridal shower thank you cards.

Comment on this discussion