Monique
Rockstar December 2019

Thank you cards obsolete??

Monique, on July 17, 2019 at 4:16 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 83
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So let me start this out by saying I plan on sending them out. However, I have gone to two weddings so far this year that did not do thank you cards. Both weddings we attended, stayed the whole time, as well as bought them a gift. I鈥檓 wondering if it becoming something that is not done as often anymore as it used to be? Or did they just not follow etiquette?

83 Comments

  • Allie
    Rockstar August 2019
    Allie

    They just didn't follow etiquette. If you gave a gift, they should send you a thank you card. They don't necessarily have to send one specifically for attending the wedding, but gifting, absolutely.

  • Cher Horowitz
    Rockstar December 2019
    Cher Horowitz

    What Allie said! That's poor etiquette on their part. Thank you notes are always in style, regardless! It was rude of them to not send even a simple card

  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride
    I think I've been to one wedding where I didn't get a thank you card. Some took much longer than others. I actually knew a girl who never sent them and then said she would send them on her 5th anniversary lol. I don't know if she ever did. 馃ぃ
  • Lauren
    Super September 2019
    Lauren

    I have been to a couple weddings lately where they did not send a thank you card and we gave pretty expensive gifts. It is sad that some people don't care about etiquette. They technically have 3 months after the wedding to send one, but I have also been to weddings where it was a July wedding and they sent a Christmas card as a generic thank you to everyone. Kinda rude not to take the time to thank everyone individually. It also doesn't help that due to all the holiday mail their card got lost and didn't get to us until March.

    Because of this I am on top of thank you cards. We just received a gift this past weekend and I am so frustrated with myself because I have not sent a thank you yet. I am just really behind on putting together the invites, I haven't had time.

  • Stephanie
    Super June 2019
    Stephanie

    Definitely an etiquette situation. I sent and am still sending out thank you cards. We had so many I wanted to read though each one in detail and make it personal. I also have a Sprocket printer so if I have any pro photos of them or with them, I stuck it inside the card to have a memory with it

  • Lauren
    Super September 2019
    Lauren
    View Quoted Comment

    Oh boy! Can you imagine?!

    Dear Aunt So&So,

    Thanks so much for the crystal bowl you got us 5 years ago. Unfortunately it got smashed when we moved 3 years ago. But thanks anyway!

    Love, Rude-y Mc Rude-rson

    Sorry, that just came to me and I had to share.

  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride
    View Quoted Comment
    Hahah! I know. How would you go about getting these peoples addresses again?! Like, girl just let it go, you suck.
  • Monique
    Rockstar December 2019
    Monique
    View Quoted Comment
    Yes as a guest I am regretting buying them those gifts. They could have reached out and just sent a simple message. It would have been nice to even get that.
  • Nikita
    VIP April 2019
    Nikita

    I think they're not obsolete at all - just some couples don't really care. I've had guests legitimately thank me for the thank you cards! Every person I visit has them on their fridge, on a mantle, whatever... and it's not like we did anything special (like pictures of us on them).

  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly
    I personally feel they are out dated.
    First and foremost in today's world a call is much more efficient! And if you're writing a lot of cards they will be generic no matter what anyone says.
    Second it'll go right in the trash. We all know it goes right in the trash. There's no point in wasting money and mailing someone garbage, recycling if you're lucky.
    And people tend to send thank yous weeks if not months later. It's just foolish to waste paper when you can do literally anything else in a fraction of the time.
    Will I send thank you cards? Yes. But I'm really not into it and frankly can't wait for this asinine tradition to fade away.
  • S
    Expert October 2019
    Sara
    I can鈥檛 imagine not writing them鈥擨鈥檇 feel so awkward the next time I see those people. Apparently 鈥渆tiquette鈥 says you have a year but I feel like 2-3 months for the wedding is the most I鈥檓 comfortable with sending out. For the shower I definitely want to send those before the wedding. We鈥檙e getting married in late October so I鈥檓 hoping by thanksgiving/Christmas to have everything done. Hand written of course!
  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy
    Definitely a lack of good etiquette. If you have a gift the least they could do is thank you. You have like a year to send them I think but I also think that鈥檚 rude. I did mine as soon as we got home and mailed them right away.
  • Lauren
    Super September 2019
    Lauren
    View Quoted Comment

    I think it should be acceptable to send an email or like an evite-type of thank you card. Still themed/coordinating with the wedding with a personal note.

    I agree that they do end up in the trash but some people really get a kick out of getting snail mail that isn't a bill. lol

  • Lauren
    Super September 2019
    Lauren
    View Quoted Comment

    One couple that got married Dec 2018 and didn't send a thank you note texted me like 3 months after our Jan 2019 engagement party saying that they just remembered that they didn't rsvp no to our party. Like duh, you didn't show up. Some people are just flakes.

  • Allie
    Rockstar August 2019
    Allie
    View Quoted Comment

    This! Maybe paper mail is a waste and outdated, but I love receiving letters in the mail and I do keep thank you cards. I write letters back and forth with my best friend from college. Of course we could just call each other, but to me it's much more thoughtful to go through the trouble of writing a letter and putting it in the mail.

  • Anna
    Devoted April 2020
    Anna
    Its weird, i dont know if it's the way I grew up, but I never heard of people sending thank you cards. I always saw those but never really thought of it. I thought maybe those were thank you cards for someone doing a nice thing. I came to this forum and was shocked about this. May I add, I'm 36. I've been to many wedding and never gotten one, also didn't expect to receive one. Just letting you guys know about my experience with thank you cards.
  • Ashley
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Ashley
    My MOH suggested we do Thank You cards at the wedding as they bring a gift/card etc. I think that's a good idea. Saves money and trees with the whole mailing bit. But still not sure how we gonna do it.
  • Mandi
    Rockstar March 2020
    Mandi
    I got a thank you card from a wedding once 12 months after the wedding.
    She used her maternity leave to do them. 馃う鈥嶁檧锔
    I'm thinking it's one of those things people just haven't learned to do.
    I'm dreading doing ours when the time comes, but my grandma would come out of her grave of 20 years and smack me if I didn't.
  • Monique
    Rockstar December 2019
    Monique
    View Quoted Comment
    Oh interesting!
  • Monique
    Rockstar December 2019
    Monique
    View Quoted Comment
    Right?? My parents straight up bought us cards already and said DO NOT FORGET ABOUT THIS!

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