Thank You Cards - a thing of the past??

I agree that a lot of people don't send them anymore but I find it to be pretty rude. I will definitely be sending thank you notes after my shower and wedding - I sent them to those who got us a gift at our engagement party, too.

I think people should send out Thank You cards my family is horrible and they never ever send out Thank You cards.

I agree that its something you should do but I wouldn't jump straight to name calling for those who don't. Life happens and sometimes things like thank you notes get lost or forgotten... I know for me I'm planning on doing it, but... My FH and I will be moving across the country 15 days after our wedding. No honeymoon, no alone special time, no time to let the dust settle from the wedding stress.. life happens so be compassionate you don't know what other people are going through, is a stupid peice of paper aknowledging you're gifty really that importat?

You're not old fashioned....you're right. Anybody who tells you thank you notes are a thing of the past is just lazy, quite frankly.

I wouldn't expect a thank you note for attending a wedding if I didn't bring a gift, b/c the reception is the couple's way of hosting/thanking you for coming to support their marriage. But if I did give a gift and didn't receive a note, I would follow up after a while just to make sure it was received or logged - sometimes things do get lost. We had a big debacle with the USPS before and after our wedding, and some of our cards went into our neighbor's mailbox and promptly into the trash. We wouldn't have known those checks were sent unless the senders had given us a heads up they were coming. I cringe thinking that people sent things and never got a thank you, but if they don't say anything we have no way of knowing....ugh!

I think it's rude not to. I had a lady down the street lend me a leash for a stray dog and give me dog food until animal control opened in the morning, not my dog, shouldn't be a problem but a little girl found it an was concerned about him being locked up in a cage. So I said if take him for the night. The little girl came down to thank me the next day. And I left a note on the ladies door saying thank you for your help.

I wasn't raised sending out thank you's. just something my family never did, but over the years getting them I've realized that I feel there's not enough thank you's in the world. Maybe we'd all get along better if we knew others appreciated simple gestures, gifts and other things.

My parent's went to a wedding last year and didn't get a thank you card and they are STILL talking about it! Everyone has time. It's making the time to do it. Whether it's a month or 6 months later, it's still appreciated. I grew up the saaaame way! Thank you's for everything!!!!!!! I sent them out for graduation and sent them out immediately after my bridal shower. For a large wedding it will take longer to write that many thank you's but it'll get done because it's something that is important to me.

Megan I agree life happens, but to the person who spent time and effort acknowledging your wedding by sending a gift, the thank you note is NOT a stupid piece of paper.

Kind of like how when brides spend the time and effort gathering addresses, making a guest list, budgeting and sending out invitations, the RSVP card is not a stupid piece of paper either. It goes both ways!!

As soon as I could print, my mom had me seated at the table writing thank you notes for birthday and Christmas presents!

The RSVP ensures I know to pay for your dinner and table and chair ect hardly the same as a thank you note. I'm not arguing that its something you shouldnt do but if you're giving a gift with the expectation of being thanked, you kind of miss the point in my opinion. I've been to weddings where I haven't gotten one and I just assumed it slipped their mind, something came up, they couldn't afford it... whatever I'm not going to hold a grudge or call them a name, I gave them a gift selflessly and don't expect anythign in return

If a guest can find the time in their busy life to find a gift (or "merely" write a check), any bride/groom should be able to find the time to write thank you notes. Can you image the uproar if a guest had the gall to say "You know, I wanted to get you a gift, but, you know, life happens and I just couldn't find the time"?

A thank you note is important because it's to ensure guests you actually got their gift. As Kris pointed out gifts can go missing, get misplaced, or even stolen. Honestly most people aren't too busy to write one, it's just not a priority for the lazy.

If someone said "you know, i wanted to get you a gift, but, you know, life happens and I just couldnt find the time" I'd probably say

I know exactly what you mean, sometimes life gets crazy but you being here with me on my special day is all the gift I need.

I think its a little rude to expect gifts, I tried to do a registry but ended up feeling like a brat saying oh buy this or I want that

Let me be clear I do intend to do thank you cards for those who do give me a gift but I don't think we should condemn those who don't

I don't think it's of the past, but some are slower to send theirs and some folks just get busy I think. I went to two weddings on the same day and received a thank you card with pictures from one of the weddings, but not the other.

I agree. I have been to some weddings and haven't received a thank you until 6 months later. That is EXTREMELY rude!! I plan on sending thank yous within the etiquette timeframe.

Kris, good to see you. How are things going?

@Megan, it may be rude to expect gifts, but in reality, we have gift table and card boxes for what reason? Because we expect gifts. And people expect to give gifts. It's just a wedding thing, and certainly if someone wasn't able to give you a gift for any reason, there's no need to go calling them out and whatnot.

But I (and maybe a few others on here) feel it's equally rude to accept a gift and not show gratitude to the giver. I still haven't gotten a thank you card from a wedding I went to 5 years ago -- not a super close friend, so I don't care, but it makes you wonder if they just wanted a gift from me (I was a last minute add when others weren't able to make it.) Same with some generic pre-printed thank you's I got. Why did I spend time on you if you couldn't spend a moment being gracious?

And I'd even take a text thank you, or an e-card thank you over nothing at all. Especially if I'll see you again, and there's no acknowledgement -- I'll remember that.

It is false that they are nothing alike. The RSVP assures you that the guest got the invitation and is/is not planning to come. The thank you note assures the gift giver that you received their gift. If I sent someone a gift and didn't hear a peep, I would worry. Just like brides worry when they don't get an RSVP.

Just b/c the thank you note doesn't do anything to assure the BRIDE does not mean it's not equally as important. Assurance and acknowledgement go both ways.

I love Kris' comparison to not sending back the RSVP card. Another pet peeve of mine...lol

I definitely plan to send my thank you's out right after getting back from the honeymoon. :-) Glad to see thank you notes are still relevant to the ladies on WW!

Always send thank you notes. It is not a thing of the past for anyone who does not wish to be thought of as rude. And as you can see here, many people still feel this way. I have a simple rule: If I do not receive a thank you for a wedding or a shower gift within the year, they will not be receiving another gift from me again. Also, I don't like the "Send Out Cards" that people are using for generic Thank Yous. I took the time to personally pick out a gift (or even write a check) for you; the least you could do is acknowledge what it was.

I do wine tastings and catering part-time. I gave one friend a certificate for a party for up to 10 people, fully catered and wines supplied, as it was something she had talked about earlier. She never acknowledged that she received the gift, and never contacted me to set up the party, even though I emailed her about it a couple times. I wondered why it was so important to her that I come to her destination wedding at all?

I was able to send out thank you's for our shower the next day (well, two days, the day after the shower was a gov't holiday.) And that's because I wanted it done and there weren't many to do.

For the wedding, I'll probably be writing them within a week of the wedding. Because that's how I am.

But I don't begrudge others who may take a while. Life does happen, and you usually know about it, so there's definitely leeway. Or like I said, if they acknowledge and thank you in some way before getting a thank you note out.

I'll agree that it's often not being rude, but ignorance. But there are cases where it is just plain laziness (see pre-printed generic postcard) or lack of manners. Just not ALL the time.