Talking To Your Ex - Red Flag or Deal Breaker?

I met my wife online. The very first time I met her in person, I picked her up at the airport, and stopped at my ex's house to get a computer he was fixing for me before taking her back to my place.

She could tell right away that there was no spark between us. He ended up being invited to our wedding. And my communications with him have never been an issue.

Neither. She has contacted a couple of hers on FB to see what they up to after 15, 20 years out of curiosity and to tell them all about us. She's weird.

Ehh maybe a red flag. Depends on the situation. If they were lying or hiding that they were talking to their ex that would be different.

I'd have to say red flag, but it depends if they're being flirtatious or just friendly to one another. But if FH was telling his ex about our relationship issues, that would be deal breaker material

Red flag, but obviously it depends on the level of talking.

Big red flag! They are an ex for a reason, and I honestly wouldn't feel comfortable with this.

Not a big deal at all. My FH works with his ex-wife. Hell she and I are friends and we purchase items for her child with her new husband

Depends on the ex, but mostly neither.

Depends in the guy. For us, major red flag and possible deal breaker.

My husband flat out told me that he hates all of his ex's. So if he was talking to one, yeah, I'd be concerned. I also don't speak with any of my ex's. So I'm sure that would concern him to.

Not a problem for me in passing unless the ex makes a move or becomes too intrusive. Not interested in the ex contacting my FH in our home or by email. I am talking about in passing only as they ran into each other and the gas station and said hi and bye. LOL!

Now if there are kids involved, as is the case with me and my FH, then of course ex interaction is to be expected and accepted.

Well, I can't say that I like it, since they all(3) want him back...but,they share kids, so it's inevitable. 🤷

If we were talking to MY Ex?

Deal breaker.

FH's exes?

Meh.

It entirely depends on what kind of break up they had, what kind of relationship they have now, and how they set boundaries.

His ex is cray cray so yeah that would have been a red flag.

Honestly, my fiance didn't have to worry about any of my exs and I didn't have to worry about any of his. We both unfortunately experienced abuse at the hands of previous boyfriends/girlfriends that when it came to exs there wasn't one that either one of us talked to. Red flag though definitely.

We both have a past that neither of us is jealous about. We had several exes at our wedding, and one ex of his, and two of mine, ended up marrying people they were and are our close friends or family. We see them we talk. We write letters now and then and share news, send kids pics and brag. Sometimes exes come to parties we are at, and we talk. We are all happy with people we are with no. And all parted on good terms. We enjoyed each other's company for a while, then moved on. No threat if we talk , see each other .

If they had had sex--deal breaker. If not, major red flag, depending on the situation.

Considering that my ex-husband constantly talked to his ex (which I didn't mind at first - he was open about it). They ended up getting back together and got engaged before our divorce was even finalized. I guess it would depend on who the person is but my FH is highly trusting and I couldn't be more grateful for the wonderful man that he is.

I say red flag depending on if your fiancé/fiancée is insecure or jealous. My fiance doesn't talk to his ex's so I'm not concerned. But boundaries are definitely needed if you do.

Wouldnt be a deal breaker. Would just be a sign that he isnt super serious. UNLESS wee're talking about like childhood exes. but recent ones? no way

It would be a red flag, and some of his ex's have popped out of the woodwork (one lunatic tried to tell him that she'd make a better mom for our daughter than I do >.> oh hell no) but he's quick to dismiss them when we're together, and he only really talked to them when we were split up.