Sweetheart Table vs. Head Bridal Party Table

Traditional head tables are super outdated in addition to being rude to the wedding party. They look straight out of the 1990s to me. They are also a really bad set up for actual conversation and the elevated platform / stage thing is weird - I can't imagine anyone wanting to be on "display" while eating.

We had a rectangular King's table down the center of the reception room with wedding party and their spouses and it was lovely. It also had a beautiful tablescape with more florals and different decor to set it apart from guest tables, so it elevated the room decor overall. I think it's a great option.

Lucky for us 95% of our bridal party are couples so we will do a sweetheart table and then a table for the bridal party.

My FH is so set on a head table with JUST our wedding party. It's frustrating because I do not want to split up couples (although almost all of them have other family attending the wedding), but he won't budge on this and hasn't really had that many opinions on other things so I guess it is what it is.

I don't understand why people keep defending head tables saying that its "only for dinner". You realize the bridal party will be separated from their SO's for most of the day? Getting ready, the ceremony, the pictures and then dinner if you are rude enough to seat them away from their SOs. And as someone else pointed out, a lot tends to happen while people are still seated (first dance, parent dances, speeches...) I just think its a crappy way to treat your VIPs.

^^^ This!! At the last wedding I was in, I kissed my FH good morning at 8:45am and immediately went to the bridal suite to have breakfast/start getting ready. He hung out in the room until my mom arrived and they had lunch together, got ready together, and I didn't see him again until the cocktail hour at 5pm. At this wedding there were 3 tables at the front of the room: the center had the bride, groom, best man/SO, MOH/SO, and one other couple from the bridal party, then the two tables on either side had the remaining bridal party couples and their SOs. The bride did NOT feel comfortable being the center of focus at a sweetheart table, so this was her compromise. It worked out well for her, and I KNOW my FH was grateful to get to sit next to me, especially after a whole day without me, where he only knew my mom.

We are doing a sweetheart table, and my BP will be mixed in at all the other tables wherever I feel they'll have the most fun.

Geez K squared, all that for me? You're so sweet to think of me.

We are doing a head table but are letting our wedding party have their SO sit with them!

I was in a wedding that did the Kings Table setup and it was really fun. I have also been in a wedding where the bridal party was separated from the SO's and found that to be awkward.

This table issue had not even occurred to me yet! I have only been to weddings with head tables without the BP's SOs so I assumed that was the norm. After reading some of these comments I like the idea of a sweetheart table so that 1) My BP can be with their SO and 2) so FH and I can have bits of alone time during the reception.

Do what works best for you, OP!

My FH and I recently went to an out of state wedding where FH was the BM and we only knew the bride and groom (I barely knew them). They had a head table sans SOs. I was nervous at first not knowing anyone, especially since I knew my FH would be off doing other things with the BP, but I made friends with some of the other SOs and it worked out just fine. The bride included the SOs on everything else she could but had a vision for how she wanted the room to look and we were all okay with that. As soon as dinner was over everyone was up partying anyways so it really wasn't a big deal.

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I can honestly say I've never seen anything other than a head table, it's just normal in my area. I'm not sure what we are doing yet.

@Natalie, when the WP sits at the table with their guests, it's called King's table. You're having a King's table, which is not rude at all.

@MrsCoakleyToBe have you considered you and your FH sitting with family? I had a friend who had the same issue -- she didn't want to be "on display" at a Sweetheart table, but didn't want a head table either and King's table would be too big for the venue. So, she and her husband sat with both sets of parents instead and put the bridal party at various tables throughout, depending on who they knew. Also, you could always do a modified sweetheart and have it just be you, your FH, your MOH and her significant other, and his BM and his significant other.

@Anne if your FH was really passionate about having a cash bar, would you do it? Hopefully, you'd realize how rude that is and say no. You should do the same here.