Sweetheart Table vs. Head Bridal Party Table

I find it hilarious how anyone thinks they can speak for another person let alone another persons bridal party. As I stated my bridal party is happy with what we are doing. We are not doing anything different than what anyone else is doing that we know. That stinks for anyone who doesn't know anyone at the wedding but the bridal party member, but that's not the problem for our wedding as everyone knows each other.

@MLC so you're saying that every SO at your wedding will know everyone? Every single one? No chance of anyone starting a new relationship and not introducing their new SO to everyone before your wedding? None at all?

I have the UO here too. I am having a head table because I preferred it and FH was vocal about having one too (and he hasn't been too vocal about too much).

There is of course the con of bridal parties sitting apart from SOs but the flip side is it would only be for dinner. Everyone knows that the seating chart goes out the window once the real dancing starts.

The way I saw it, my BP are our VIPs- I also NEVER get to see them. The Navy has taken FH away from our loved ones for years.

For an hour or so, I'd like to have that precious time with our loved ones. If FH was in a party at a head table, I'd do what I've done in many occasions as a single girl before- make conversation. Meet folks. I can take care of myself for one dinner while my FH takes a place of honor with his brother or his buddy.

I am always team sweetheart table. Head tables are super rude. King's tables can work if you have a smaller bridal party.

So you're okay having such immature friends/bridal party members, people who get upset that others have dates when they don't? Such whiny people would never make it past my radar, let alone be a member of my bridal party.

@Meaghan the "flip side" sounds selfish to me. Remember, the reception is for your guests, not for you. Doing things that are uncomfortable for your guests is not cool.

@Meaghan. Some people have crippling social anxiety or get nervous in big crowds, especially crowds of strangers. These people don't make conversations to meet people, they hide or try to stay near someone they know.

When the only person they know is kept away, it makes it even worse for them. Not saying this is the case for everyone, but it's a good reason not to break up couples just because you want another hour with the people you just spent the entire day with.

MLC. im not surprised by your stance on this. Not at all.

Head tables scream 1985 to me. Its a weird and disrespectful thing to do to your nearest and dearest.

Our head table would look weird...with FH's 6 groomsmen and my 2 girls, one of whom is engaged to the best man. Naaah we'll do a sweetheart table and seat everyone with their SO.

We had an Estate/Kings table. I had the whole bridal party and their dates sit with us. Our reception space was more of a rectangular shape so we configured the Estate table in the center with 12 rounds surrounding it. It was great because we were in the center and in all the action. And it made everyone comfortable and happy!

@ Elizabeth and Blinkus, noted. OP asked which is preferred. It only became obvious to me that head tables WEREN'T preferred when I started on WW this time last year.

I am not a selfish person. This is just a difference of opinion and preferences.

Thank you to everyone who offered their advice and inputs; I appreciate it. My fiancé prefers a head table while I prefer a sweetheart table, but I'm willing to compromise and let him have the head table. I've attended weddings this past year where I have seen both, so I'm sure whichever option we go with will be fine. Only one person in our bridal party of 8 has a SO, so if we decide to go with the head table it should be ok. I will discuss it further with him prior to making a final decision.

I had a sweetheart table, so we could enjoy some quiet alone time for 15 min at least, and had the bridal party seat with their spouses on regular tables. Everyone was happy

I'm team sweetheart table, head tables seem really outdated to me.

I will be doing a head table. I dont see it as being rude i see it is a way to mingle and meet other people that are sharing your special day with . And its not like were going to be sitting up there all night . Max an hour to eat. If that! Adults can make conversation with other people,its easy . But our wedding a lot of people are mutal friends and family so i dont see an issue

@Courtney, that's what an extroverted person would say. An introverted person is going to have a really hard time sitting alone. It's not easy for everyone to make conversation with other people, that's a ridiculous thing to say because you're generalizing.

Head tables are rude, but some folks don't mind that I guess.

I can't remember the last wedding I've been to with a head table. It just seems outdated and the worst set up for actual conversation. It's not like by having one you're getting to spend some cherished moments with your WP. You're only able to talk to the two people directly on either side of you.

To MLC: Are your single wedding party members even able to handle seeing you get married?? What a slap in the face for them. I hope you're nixing all the slow dances. It would be super hurtful for them to see couples dancing where they're single. I hope you're also splitting up all couples at the other tables as well. You wouldn't want to hurt your single friends feelings. Is there a way for you to have your ceremony in private so they don't have to have their singleness pointed out?

I don't really like the idea of a sweetheart table, but with 6 bridesmaids, 6 groomsmen plus SO's a head table is a real mess, and almost impossible for my venue to do. We may end up doing a king's table. I just hate the idea of FH and I being on display just the two of us. gah I hate all the options.

@OP, are you sure none of your BP are bringing dates?

I'm a fan of sweetheart tables, so you can mix your bridal party into other tables where they're most comfortable. Having ALL of the bridal party and their significant others/plus ones at a head table with the bride and groom is also an option (do not separate bridal party members from their significant others/plus ones), but that can become a large table. Plus, everyone in the bridal party might not know each other, so even having a head table might not make them the most comfortable. For example... Perhaps MOH isn't friends with the BMs but she's friends with other college friends at table 8. She'd probably be happiest at table 8 rather than a head table, even with her significant other. And maybe college friend at table 8 doesn't know anyone else except for MOH, she'd probably appreciate having MOH at her table.