Strip Clubs for Bachelor Parties

FutureMrsGuzman- You've obviously got issues with strip clubs. Whining to us about how they're not ok isn't going to do anything. If you're not comfortable with them, then talk to your FH, not us.

You're contradicting yourself. "The touching and lap dancing is what makes me uncomfortable." "Even if he can't touch them it's still not ok."

You can't touch the dancers, and it's basically live porn, without the sex. If you're ok with porn, why are you negative about this?

We typically go together (not often though). its usually on a vacation like Vegas or Key West or someone's birthday (his sister's 30th got a little wild).

While I am ok with him being in a strip club but he knows I would be 100% not ok with him being in one of those private rooms for god knows how long with the same stripper that says "you can do whatever you want to me but you cannot touch my p***y" (yes, that was actually said. it was terrifying).

All of this said, he's never bought himself a lap dance, at least not in front of me. he actually bought them for my friends and I just to get a good laugh.... not everyone laughed.

What bothers me is another woman, a naked one at that, grinding my FH.

FH is pretty indifferent when it comes to strip clubs. Some of his GMs really wanted to go, but the other half are super cheap so they ended up not going. I would have been fine if he went to strip club.

Me, on the other hand had a stripper at my bach party. One of my BMs used to work at a bar we went to. They let us use the 3rd floor for 2 hours (before it got super busy.) It was fun, and I'm glad they did that for me. I did tell them if it was too expensive or if anybody felt uncomfortable, I did not *need* a stripper.

Mrs. Faith as I mentioned in my comments I have talked to my FH about this. I don't think I'm whining. I just wanted to see how other people feel about strip clubs and I see a lot of people feel the same way as me.

These discussion are always fun haha. Mine did not go. We have boundaries established for strip clubs and we only go together.

I just gotta say that I hate when people throw out the "rules" of strip clubs. A lot of strippers will let you do whatever for the right amount of $$$. I've seen it and we haven't been back to one since because it made us both really uncomfortable.

I've never had a problem with them but my DH hates them. Before my bachelorette party he had a sit down with my MOH telling her how uncomfortable he was with me going to a strip club while I told him it was totally fine if they wanted to go. So in the end neither of us went because I think it is only okay if your SO is okay with it.

@FutureMrsGuzman, while I don't share your feelings, I understand them. What's important is communication. Talk to him about it if it bothers you and come to an agreement as a couple.

@FutureMrsGuzman you are not whining. I'm one that totally agrees with you 100%. I also find it disrespectful. If there are people that are okay with it. Great for them. I personally find it odd that people are okay with half naked woman grinding on the FH but to each their own. I'm not into that

I really don't get the discomfort. It's naked bodies that you can't do anything with. They are people just making their living. It feels like a lack of trust. You should be able to trust your SO.

Hell while I was getting a lap dance from a male stripper, we were talking about his girlfriend and how she trusts him to do what he enjoys and not cheat. The level of trust and respect there was awesome.

My H has been before, but not since we've been together, he really doesn't have any desire to and I think would only go if we went together. I did go on a date to a strip club once. When my date got a lap dance, it didn't really bother me, but we obviously didn't end up getting married, so....?

My FH doesn't want that so I guess I haven't thought twice about it. His 2 BM are planning a day of golf and then darts/drinking at our favorite local bar. FH will love that.

I wouldn't be comfortable with a strip club because I'm a jealous person by nature. I trust FH but the thought of him looking at naked girls really rubs me wrong. Plus I don't understand the point anyways.

If you view your bachelor/Bachelorette party as your last night of "freedom" you're marrying the wrong person.

I can say with absolute conviction that my hangups about strip clubs have nothing to do with trust. I 100,000% trust my FH. As others have said, it has to do with respect. Speaking of respect, I absolutely respect the opinions of those who are ok with strip clubs. To each their own. It's just my opinion that it's inappropriate for a person to go to one if their fiance or wife or girlfriend or whoever isn't ok with it. That shows a HUGE lack of respect and thoughtfulness. I see marriage as committing yourself to that one person for the rest of your lives -- in body and mind. Having another woman straddling you while naked in order to arouse you doesn't fit into that equation for me.

I've been to plenty of them in my day and rules are established and enforced at nice clubs. At disgusting hole-in-the-wall clubs (which are my fave, personally, the entertainment is endless) they will do whatever - but any man in his right mind, tied down or not, would not stick it in a stripper. At one of the gross clubs, a chick licked my face, it was gross. Boundaries don't really exist there, haha, but I'd really hope that your FH's groomsmen take them somewhere nice. Even if your FH says he won't go to a strip club, there is still a really good chance that he might end up there.

I'm not at all ok with it. The entire idea (male or female) grosses me out (and yes I have been to a couple to give it a chance). I don't think having a "last harrah" is a thing when you have been in a committed relationship. We're not having any sort of bachelor or bachelorette parties so luckily this won't come up.

Several women on here don't have a problem with them, and that is great. It all really depends on how you feel personally about it and having your FH take your feelings into account and hearing his thoughts on the matter. It all depends on what works for your relationship.

Not all strip clubs are full nude, but that isn't the point. Look if you are so bothered by it, talk to your FH... not us. We can only give you whether we agree or disagree and that doesn't help you much; because we're not your FH.

Yes granted, different clubs, different rules. But most dancers are pretty friggin decent people. Also location has a lot to do with it as I mentioned before. Lower end club, not as pretty of girls, cheaper lap dances, higher stage fees; more like to do something for the right price. Also from my employee: "yes granted we have made wives/girlfriends that tag along jealous. Its only because you're sitting there, throwing ia dirty looks instead of having a good time. I dont want your husband. But now that you want to be a bitch, I'm.going to make.you hate me for no reason even more. If you're nice to me, I'll be just as nice back to you."

Agree with @Bethie, strip clubs aren't a threat at all. The girls are only there to make money, most of them have a glazed look in their eye--bored out of their skull mentally counting up their money while doing the dance--your FH isn't special to them, only you. All the talk they do is fake, they might grind if they can get away with it so they can charge more for the dance but it's usually not allowed in most strip clubs (except probably Vegas) and neither is touching. The girls get watched and so do the guys to make sure they all follow the rules.

Really it's not that much different than checking out porn on the computer and I think almost every guy has done this. And really, are there any of us girls here who haven't checked out some online porn? At least once? The strip club atmosphere might create a slight thrill but all it does is send the guy home wanting his girl.

The only guys that are getting a huge thrill at strip clubs are the sad lonely guys that don't have anyone, spend their whole paycheck there and are deluded enough to think the girls care about him. They don't care about any guy that walks in there--they don't see your FH, they see dollar bills.

But--I am glad my FH outgrew strip clubs. He never went much and isn't for his bachelor party--he knows he'd get way better at home than anything there.

I actually find it disrespectful to try veto something another grown adult wants to do.

One of my FH's groomsmen got married last May and for his bachelor party they went to their favorite local bar and tailgated a hockey game (HUGE hockey fans over here) and he absolutely loved it, so I would imagine that's exactly the same thing he's going to do for his. He's never in the 6+ years I've known him expressed an interest in strip clubs so I'd be really surprised if he wanted to do that. I personally don't have anything against against strip clubs if both parties are okay with it then I don't see there being any problems.

I think its extremely disrespectful to stamp your foot and tell your SO that he's not "allowed" to do something. If you're an adult, you can make your own decisions. That said, I'd be a huge hypocrite if I had a problem with him going to strip clubs. I go way more than he does.