Step-Father Vs Biological Father-OPINIONS PLEASE

I think it's natural to feel a little bad, but you really shouldn't. A father is different from a dad. If your father wasn't there for you, he doesn't deserve to play the dad role. He was on the sidelines in your life, so he's on the side line at the wedding. I think you know that. Just stay strong and remember that you're giving those important jobs to the man who earned them.

@brian yes i cant think of one time my stepfather has ever said or di anything hurtful & i was a rebelious(sp?) teenager

@Maybe Thats so true

Please keep in mind- you can feel as guilty as you want- but that's the place in your life that he chose. Include him in the days festivities, but as a close family friend. Biology only goes so far. There is alot more to being a father than having a child, as you've learned!

I was considering letting them both wlk me down & doing 2 father daughter dances but then i was like...those are special moments that my "dad" should have not share them with someone cause they share a title(father)

Michelle, I'm in the same situation and to add a different twist....my mother married my bio father a few years (but now divorced) after she and my step father divorced. But my step father raised me alot of my younger years so he will be escorting me down the aisle. If my bio father is feeling some kind of way about that then he will have to take a step back and do soul searching on why things are the way they are and what role he played or didn't play in my life. I understand you feeling bad but don't waste too much energy on it. It is what it is!! Oh, it sounds like he's used to watching from the sidelines!

my older sister(same dad, diff mom) didnt include him in her wedding either...So yeah he has to look deep within

My stepfather gave me away both times. He raised me since I was 4 years old. My real dad is around, but never did anything as far helping to raise me (physically or monetarily), so he really couldn't give away something he never had. He had the nerve to send me a FB private email about how it hurt that Roy gave me away again. Really? You were invited to the wedding and didn't respond that you were coming to Cabo, he makes me so mad sometimes. I was in England for 2 weeks last August and he had excuse after excuse, so we never saw each other and he never met Rick. Now he wants me to post photos of him on my FB page so all Ricks family can see my "dad". Of course, this doesn't stop the guilt and yes I do feel it sometimes, but have to remind myself that I'm the woman I am because of my Mum and my Stepdad

If youre feeling guilty could you maybe just let you step father walk to you down the isle and do the father daughter dance then maybe later on the evening just dance with your bio dad to a slow song that is being played that everybody else is dancing to also?

@future thats a good idea

@sharon thats kinda like me & my boi fathers relationship

I have the same thing, except it's with both my bio mom and bio dad. They gave me up for adoption, but it was an open adoption... so I interacted with them at a young age until they moved to Florida. My adopted Dad is going to walk me down the aisle (he raised me, so he should!) and do the father daughter dance. My adopted mom is going to get the rose from my bouquet for the Mother's ceremony (again, she was the one who raised me).

I know that my birth mom will be hurt (she has always regretted giving me away, to the point of having another child right away even) but she will just have to deal with it and if I need to... then I'll sit down and explain why things are that way. The only one of my birth family who has been there every step of my life since I have known her, is my younger sister... and she'll continue to be right by my side as my MoH.

If nothing else is certain... I know my step dad will walk me down, & get the dance

UGH I totally know what you mean, I don't know if you saw my post about my bio dad but he's basically the sperm donor-nothing more. So my step-dad is walking me down the isle and I will be doing the F/D dance with him too, my bio dad had a huge BF (b*tch fit) and said he wasn't coming blah blah blah, so yeah I think if your step dads been there for everything have him do the dance and walk you down the isle, its a privilege that he's earned not a right that your bio dad automatically gets.

You could have them both walk you down the aisle but then save the f/d for just you and your stepdad only.

I think that since your stepdad has been around for so long and has been there for you keep it the way it is. i once heard that any man and be dad but very few and can a father. my dad has been in and out of my life since i was 15 but it's been almost two years since i have really not heard from him and my step-dad just came in my life. my brother is walking me down the aisle and i'm not doing the father daughter dance even though i wish i could

Well i had the same problem well my bio dad wasnt there but we kept in touch adn we visited every summer he lived in diff state and step dad was there since i was like 6 anyways i asked both of them to walk me maybe u cld do that to make u feel better.....but little did i know not to make ur day bad but my step dad had a brain anerisum 3 weeks b4 my wedding day and then my real dad didnt come....anyways its always a good idea to ask both if u are comfortable doing so best wishes to u on ur special day!

From the begining my plan was to have both do it...but things changed in my heart & my bio dad has been treating me bad & saying mean things behind my back...thats what made me decide he wasnt worthy. On the other hand he is my father

You could have them both walk you down the isle, but when asked "who gives this women" Your Stepfather will answer "Her mother and i"

The last wedding I went to that had this same problem was solved by the bio dad walking her halfway down the isle, giving her away to the step-dad, who continued down the isle to give her away to the groom. It was kind of watching her life evolve and very touching. If the "dads" can get along enough to do something like this, it will show everyone that you acknowledge your bio dad but that your step dad is your DAD.

As for the dance, have you considered a cut-in type dance? Dance with step, then have bio cut in and ending with step cutting in to finish the dance?

@C's mom I love that idea (the halfway)...Maybe I could do that & let my stepdad do the father daughter dance(that could be his special thing) Later that night i can have a dance with my bio dad