Social media makes it hard to distinguish who you should invite?

I don’t personally relate to this but it seems like an easy way to differentiate is whether you see them in real life or speak (whether it via text or phone or FaceTime) on a semi regular basis, or when you are in the same cities. Basically does an offline friendship exist?

If I don’t talk to them outside of social media, ever, I’m not inviting them. If I wouldn’t take time out of my day to call them or get together with them, then I don’t really care to invite them to my wedding. That’s how I did it though. If you have the budget for it and want to invite more, go for it.

View Quoted Comment Not really anymore and hasn’t since we moved to new states. We were best friends in high school and when I went off to college I would see certain friend groups every few months but after graduating college in 2016 there really hasn’t been any communication other than wishing each other happy birthday over text. They were my friends back then and not that anything happened to not make us friends but life just has taken us in different directions and there’s really not any communication other than just liking each other’s posts of Facebook.

View Quoted Comment We just live in different states now but we don’t really talk outside of the yearly happy birthday on Facebook. There’s never been any ill will feelings between myself and the people I’m thinking of, but wondering if it’s just a friendship that is just a part of the past now and shouldn’t be considered thinking of inviting them or their family. I have the budget and some wiggle room with numbers but I’m having to cut some coworkers already and id almost rather invite the coworkers since I see them more often but not really outside of work.

View Quoted Comment I have a couple of those relationships as well. We do the obligatory “happy birthday” text and that’s it. The one is also out of state, but even if she were near by we probably wouldn’t see each other, which is why I took her off. If it were me, I’d choose the co workers over the social media friends. But you know your relationship with these people better than anyone else does. But that’s my input 🤷🏻‍♀️

View Quoted Comment I do really appreciate your input! I would probably lean toward not inviting them anymore but I feel kinda obligated since I had asked them for their address like 2 years ago when we were first gonna get married and then covid happened and we decided to delay until next year. I never actually sent any STD the first round but I’m planning to send them in January for our August 2022 wedding and now I’m really diving back into our original guest list. Do you think I should send them still since I had asked for their address? It’s been more than a year since then so idk what to do!

View Quoted Comment Nah I think it’s totally fine if you don’t send them. I’ve heard of a ton of people in similar situations. If I’m not close with people when I go to send my STDs then I’ll probably take them off my list as well. Don’t feel bad!

View Quoted Comment Thank you!! 😭 I guess if situations were reversed I wouldn’t be mad if they didn’t invite me and I would get over it in a heartbeat.

Not at all. If we don't hang out on a regular basis, talk/text/ email every week, or work with daily, they're not invited. My last wedding was 300 people because my mother invited everyone she knew. This time we're choosing and our guest list is under 70.

View Quoted Comment Oh wow that’s crazy! Good for you tho keeping it smaller! We’re at our 200 max already and I’m worried we’ll end up going over which I don’t want. I have a huge family and my aunt thinks we need to invite every piece of the extended family even people I don’t know and definitely are not close to. I mean I doubt they’ll come and honestly I hope some of them don’t since I don’t really even know them but she’s helping pay for the wedding and I feel bad saying no I don’t want them 😩

I personally don’t relate and feel the opposite. Commenting and liking posts and photos is easy but when it only goes one way you can’t help but feel irrelevant.

This is a great post and it's absolutely true. I think so many things regarding this topic and there's no right answer but I feel like you should only invite people who you feel or can truly say they care about you. People who will be there for your marriage. I think the people in your life currently who are adding substance to your lives, bringing you enjoyment and truly being there for you should be the ones invited.

View Quoted Comment I appreciate your comment, thank you! What makes it hard is I know these people do care about me and all of them came to my moms funeral when I was in high school and they were like a second family to me back then, but we just don’t keep in touch these 6+ years later except for being Facebook friends and liking each other’s posts.

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No problem at all and ok got it...well if you have the budget to invite as many as people as you like it might be cool to invite a few. May help grow your relationship even more. But if not don't stress it. I'm sure they will understand and hopefully are not expecting to be invited. Honestly liking pictures is not enough; these weddings are way too expensive to be inviting folks just because we've had a past with them especially if you haven't had any physical interaction with them in years. I hope you can decide without too much stress.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your kind words! I might have to table the decision until we actually need to make it it and just see how I feel about it then so I’m not stressing in the meantime.

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Good plan!

No I have not struggled with this. My fiance and I decided on a small wedding and with that we were strict with invites. We made the rule that if we hadn't physically seen you in less than a year then you would not be invited to the wedding..


Do not invite anyone whom you feel is out of obligation. If you are starting to wonder if you should invite them because of obligation then I'd cut them from the list. Only invite people who you truly want there.

Something a therapist said to me - “Don’t should in yourself!”
Invite who you want to share the day with. Of course, don’t be obviously rude and invite half a couple, that sort of thing.
But…if you’ve got a FB friend you haven’t seen in years but would love to invite them? Do it! If you have a another FB friend you see in person but have no interest in in seeing them in your wedding day? Don’t invite them! While I think it’s important to be polite, there are so many situations in life right now that don’t fit in boxes and so “rules” don’t apply easily. There ate going to be several people at my wedding I have never met, and I’m happy I finally get to meet them - both FH and I have long standing friendships all over the world and have not met many of each other’s “people.” So for me, the guidelines of seeing in person/no ring no bring/have both met us as a couple do not make any sense. But for others, they are a perfect guideline!
So, in short (lol) if your social media friendships are important to you, but they don’t all have the same weight, that’s ok! Invite who you want and don’t do any “shoulds.”

I decided to only invite family and closest friends. This did not include work friends even tho I like them, they aren’t super close. It was the best decision for me. We had 75 guests. We loved how intimate it was. We got to spend time w every single guest and everyone knew each other (except for the 2 extended families meeting) but they got along great!


Good luck and I hope you make the best decision for you!

View Quoted Comment I love this! Thank you! What a great perspective and it’s so true!