Social media etiquette

This is a great way to end up with a guest list double the size you wanted, and full of people you hadn't planned on inviting.

I'm not a frequent social media user, but I've definitely posted about things like my engagement, picking a date, and any other details or planning milestones I've been particularly excited about. I guess people could theoretically have their feelings hurt, especially if you are having a very small, intimate wedding, and couldn't invite a lot of your friends and family in which case I might be more selective about what gets posted, but in general I don't see the big deal about putting wedding stuff on social media. I've seen lots of other people I'm connected with on social media post about their weddings and I've never felt anything but happy for them. I mean really, why would I be butthurt that an acquaintance I knew from high school and haven't talked to since posted pics about her wedding planning and didn't invite me? I haven't talked to this person in over a decade, I obviously shouldn't be expecting an invite. If anything, I enjoy seeing pictures and getting ideas for my own wedding.

I have kept wedding posts to a minimum. We did an engagement post, and that will be it until we post some pro photos. Unless people have talked to us or our parents, people don't even know we are getting married in February. We didn't announce our plans on social media.

I'll be honest, I posted when I picked out the venue, and how excited I was. I guess in retrospect, I didn't realize how rude than may come off since I cannot invite everyone to my wedding.

I don't post anything. If I absolutely need to, that's what WW is for

Even if it's not a breach of etiquette per se, it just makes your page vulnerable to a lot of drama. "I can't wait to get my invite!" "Oh, where's my invite?!" Etc. etc. Especially if you have people you think would cause problems, I'd keep it off of Facebook.

That's what Wedding Wire is for!! You can share all of your wedding excitement with us.

I have the UO, I have 600 "friends" on Fb. They are not all friends, most are people Ive met a time or 2, people I went to highschool with, ect. Everyone that I have a real relationship with is invited. That being said Ive made a few posts, when we got engaged, when we set the date and booked the venue, and a picture of me and all my girls when I said yes to the dress. Maybe the people I know are just not petty, but most who know they would not be invited comment " congrats, cant wait to see pictures, ect". If your excluding people that you would of invited if you were having a large wedding, I might avoid it.

I think it is fine as long as it's very little and not with details. My best friend just posted her save the date on Facebook and I cringed so hard. You should never do that. The only things I've posted have been on Instagram and that was the engagement announcement and when we found our venue but the venue picture you wouldn't even know what it was unless you were close to us and knew what was going on.

I think it is super tacky though when people write multiple paragraphs about their planning. Also, if you post be aware that you could potentially deal with a few awkward situations.

The only thing i put on social media was when i changed my status to engaged. I did have a few people post on my timeline when they got their save the dates which i wish they didn't do. I only had 1 of DH's cousins whom i have never met message me and ask where her invite was. (We didn't even send invites out yet, and she is not invited) He has like 80+ first cousins on his fathers side so it was impossible to invite them all. He barely knows this girl... I told her unfortunately due to venue space restrictions we weren't able to invite everyone and you have a huge family. She said that's true and to let her know if there was an after party. LOL People boggle my mind with how rude they are and assume they are invited. Weddings are insanely expensive and i think the younger crowd who has never had to pay for a wedding just doesn't understand it.

I try to keep any wedding posts to a minimum. This wedding isn't my life although I'm super excited about it. I posted a picture when we got engaged and when we did our engagement session I shared about 9 in an album on fb. Yesterday made a year since FH had proposed to me so I posted a pic to celebrate that too. I don't feel oddly about posting mostly because we're having a DW and invited most of our friends. We invited 130 ppl and probably about 40 are coming. When the wedding does come around we'll be using social media to share pics so our friends at home can still feel a part of it, but we're not trying to ruin timelines so it'll be limited.

I've kept it pretty minimal, we're still a year out, but people who aren't invited will inevitably make comments about being invited, so I'm not sharing much

Hey OP I get where you are coming from. I use social media a lot. Part of my job requires I be up to date on the communication tools and be an effective user of those tools which is heavily social media based (twitter, facebook, istagram, snapchat, parascope, to name a few).

Social media is a tool for communication. I understand the compulsion to share your experiences as you plan your wedding, its exciting for you and you want others to share in it. However there are perils of using social media and that does include hurt feelings by those who may follow your posts, but ultimately don't get invited.

My advice, use caution. Post that you got engaged and change your status. Your engagement can be public. I'd refrain from any specific posts (including photos) about your wedding details. General statements should be okay, such as - "Cake tasting after brunch today, can't wait to try all the yummy flavors!" Do not post the link to your registry, this is rude. Do not post details about any of your pre-party events. Use discretion when posting photos at these events. Do not post photos of any gifts you receive, but a photo of you and your grandma is okay as long as she gives you permission to post the photo to whichever social media platform you use. Use extreme caution with social media during any bachelorette party activities. Photos live on the internet forever. Do you really want your grandma to see you drinking drunk and sloppy on a dance floor? Or worse, a potential employer? Probably not. Ask you friends attending to refrain as well.

I have never heard of anyone messaging someone to ask if they are invited to an event, wedding, birthday party, etc that they saw on facebook. I think that is rude and would advice never to assume because you saw something online that you are going to be apart of it. But, conversely, don't assume everyone wants to know or see every little detail about an event in which they won't be participating.

I have aunts and uncles on my Facebook who would wonder why they're not getting an invite so I've steered clear of posting too much on there. We posted e-pics and announced our engagement but that was it. I want an intimate wedding with parents, siblings, and very close friends and I don't want to have to explain that to people who may not get it. I mean, I don't think it's necessarily rude because everyone knows you can't invite everyone but it can make for some awkward conversations for those who thought they would be invited but aren't.

Yes. You also create a false sense of intimacy and people feel closer to you and you open the door to people asking publicly for invites. It's an awkward situation to be in.

I personally try to avoid talking about it simply because every time I do someone responds "I can't wait! It's gonna be so awesome, when will I get my invite?" Or whatever, and then you either add them to the list or explain to them why they can't come. And when your having a fairly large wedding all ready, it's hard to say "Sorry, but your not one of the top 100 people in my life, so your not invited."

Following

What about during the wedding? What are the hashtags for? I'm talking about the guests using them, not the bride and groom who will be too busy to post anything, unless it's on WW

I kept everything off social media. I enjoy my privacy.

I think you can post about your wedding but you run the risk that people will ask for invites. Most people I know post some things but it is limited to once every few months like "found my wedding venue" or "going dress shopping". I posted my engagement and nothing else wedding related so far. I will probably make a post when we leave town to head to our wedding.

It's what you are personally comfortable with sharing. I've made only 2 wedding related post and I've been engaged for 18 months. I'm not comfortable sharing and I feel more secure by not putting my life on social media platforms.

I've posted Here and there about it. It would be hard to not mention my engagement at all for a year and a half, but it's only about stuff like "thanks mom for a great shower" or "yay venue booked" ....

Honestly tho, bigger issues out there. Don't stress too much about it. You will have people invite themselves wether or not you post about it. Have a response prepared.