So worried people will bring their babies to the wedding.

Agree with @Gym 100%. Yes, a lot of people say nursing mothers are the exception to the rule....but there's no law on this. You aren't going to wedding jail if you say "nope, no kids at all". It's your decision if you want kids or not.

@gymrat true. She has the right to exclude babies. But likewise, invited parents who feel hamstrung by that rule have a right to judge her for it. My thought would be, "well, the bride doesn't really want us to be there, because if she did, she wouldn't make such a big deal about our infant, who it would cost her nothing to accomodate."

That's fine @Cute. They can judge from the comfort of their home, while she and FH have a kickass wedding lol.

I would have your fiance call and confirm. There's nothing wrong with having an adults only wedding and I think it's better to make your intention on that clear now than wait for the RSVP to come in...As a guest, I'd be WAY more upset if I'd already made accommodations (if I was traveling) or something and THEN found out, as opposed to knowing ahead of time and either saying 'we will have to miss' or making arrangements. In my experience, most people will be cool with the adults only thing but there will always be those people who have the 'weddings are a family affair and if my whole family isn't welcome I'm not either" mentality.

Sounds like your bridal party is one of mind set, and are okay with leaving a small infant behind.. but I hasten to say that the majority of new parents probably do not share the same train of thought. And may be more of the 'of course the infant can come he is only x months' - I know my crowd, and that is the sort of crowd I have.

If a baby is nursing, baby comes with mom.

ETA: as PP said, it's not a law. We're having a no children wedding, but allowing a new born. She's a first time mom, and I know she's not comfortable leaving him yet.

Well we aren't expecting them to decline because in her comment, she said they booked their hotel room for the wedding. Maybe I'll have my fiancé shoot then a quick text to confirm. It may very well be a "know your crowd" situation because another friend of mine texted me today that she can't wait for the wedding and a night out... and her third child is a few weeks old.

Thank you to those who have supported my idea of a truly adults only wedding. I don't want to sound like a child hating jerk, my friends' children are adorable!

Our wedding will be no children - no exceptions. We don't have many babies in the family at this time anyway but we would be just fine with guests declining because their nursing and/or nonnursing, child under 21 is not invited. If we are judged for it, so be it... FH has been very clear on this!

I think you should just wait for the RSVP to see what it says. If it's still unclear, have FH call his friend and ask about it directly. The mom and dad aren't going to know their feelings about leaving the baby at this point anyhow. I wouldn't read into the guest book thing too much.

I'm definitely on the side of allowing infants at the wedding, but 5 months isn't THAT young so not allowing the baby doesn't seem super cruel to me in this situation. Ultimately it's your choice.

Talk to them and let them know it is an adult only event. If they can't make it, then they can't make it. That's on them.

If the mom is working then she is probably either pumping or the baby is on formula. There is no reason that she can't do that for one night.

Stand your ground.

If they booked a hotel room, it sounds like they are planning on bringing the baby with them.

This is exactly why FH and I made it clear to every friend and family member no kids and no babies. While my advice will not be liked you need to address it with them. We did put adult only event on our detail card and on our invitation. On our detail card we were very specific and we did say that it unfortunately this is an adult only event and we will not be able to accommodate any children and babies and no exceptions will be made. We appreciate your understanding for our special day. Its awkward but you have to do it. My friend from Oregon is actually bringing her roommate to watch her 2 kids and her future 5 month old to watch at the hotel when she comes in for the wedding. And FH'S cousins wife will have a 5 month old at the time as well. We have always made it clear since last summer that this is what we want and you know when people get pregnant unfortunately they think they are the exception and they are not in our eyes. We want our friends and family there but we also don't want crying babies or children. So if they can't find childcare we will miss them. So don't bite the bullet and make exceptions, talk to the couple or have your FH do it because they are his friends.

OP, there's a difference between a mother who is comfortable pumping/ expressing breast milk so that someone else can feed their baby, and an exclusively breast fed infant (no bottles).

If the infant is exclusively breast fed, you need to make an exception. If you can not make an exception for whatever reason, prepare for this couple to change their RSVP to no, and for some possible hurt feelings.

I am curious about this subject. To me it seems that the hosts have the absolute right to make their event child free but then I see the other side of it as well. It is considered very rude to not include a guest’s spouse on the invitation. They are a social unit. A mother nursing a baby is a unit as well (not socially but in other ways they are very much a unit.) Why is it considered rude to not include a spouse but it is considered ok to not include a breastfeeding child? Is it because it is a social event that the parent can decline to attend? I guess I just find it strange how a spouse must be included but a child relying on a mother to eat cannot attend. Does this not fall under making your guests comfortable and being an accommodating host?

There is obviously no law or etiquette regarding this matter. Perhaps it is just something that hosts must determine for themselves.

I would never bring my children to any event that does not have their name expressly written on the invitation. It was my choice to have children, and the responsibility of their care is mine and my husband's, not the people planning the event. If I was breastfeeding and couldn't leave my baby, then I wouldn't go. It's the "consequence" of my choice to have children. If the couple wanted me there enough to let me bring my child, then that's awesome, but if they don't want them there, it's their prerogative.

@Katie-because your SO probably won't have a screaming fit at any point in time?

@Helena Lol I would hope not. At the same time though we constantly say on WW to let adults be adults. Adults know that a screaming child is inappropriate and they should quietly remove themselves until the child quiets down. Personally I feel most weddings are inappropriate for young children (loud music, drinking, etc) but I can see why a nursing mother would want to take the child.

You get to invite the people you want, and those who feel they can't leave their infants for a couple of hours get to stay home. Someone's choice to nurse exclusively does not mean the world must be rearranged to accommodate that choice.

I would definitely wait until you get the RSVP back - you may be worrying about the baby coming along for no reason.

Wait until you get the RSVP back before reaching out to the couple. For now, just consider that they made a congratulatory comment on your guest book from the whole family.

While I 100% agree that child-free means no exceptions, I have to LOL at the babies crying during ceremony comments. My mother was bawling at my sister's wedding. Should she have been banned for having uncontrollable happy tears?