So worried people will bring their babies to the wedding.

As a parent I would include my children's name they are apart of my family.

It sounds like you feel strongly so, could you reach out to them and be like so and so is getting a babysitter for their child, would you like me to put you two in contact so you can see about arranging childcare together? Or something along those lines?

Missy, that is wrong. It is also very rude if your children are not specifically invited. Not everyone invites children to weddings and it's not up to you to decide if they can come.

@emily how is including my children's name on the guestbook wrong?

Missy, if your children are not invited, including them is rude. Not every event is open to children, and it is up to the hosts to determine the guest list, not the guests.

ETA, in the case of OP, the guest signed the guest book and indicated the baby would be there, which is the point of their post.

Missy, I assumed you were talking about including your children on the RSVP.

If I were invited to a wedding where my nursing baby was not allowed to attend I would decline.

I always thought that it was understood that an infant that young, especially if one is nursing was the exception to the adults only rule. I'm I wrong?

@emily OP stated she THINKS they will bring the baby because of the guestbook signing. I never said I would bring my children if they weren't invited, what I said was I would included their names in the signing. For example : with love John, Jane and jack.

You're going to have to speak to her. I agree that nursing babies are the exception, but I also have friends whose parents are bringing their baby to feed only (the parents of the baby are delighted to have a night out). Yes, some babies need a high chair, and this can get awkward when other guests who know the etiquette follow it. We've only had 3 people ask and in all cases FH and I have spoken to them directly and said that our families are not even able to bring their babies. They have all understood.

TBH I completely understand. The whole point of adults only is so kids are not there acting up or moving around or making noise. (All completely normal things for a child to do especially if it's a decently long ceremony) I would think a baby would not be an exception as they are almost guaranteed to be whiny and cranky and cry. They can't help it.

I understand everyone's point about a breastfeeding baby but I'm sure there could be a plan to work around the wedding. Have someone at the hotel or even hanging out somewhere close to the venue with the baby and if they need to breastfeed they discreetly leave and feed the baby. That's if she even breastfeed.

Frankly if I had a breastfeeding baby and a good friend was getting married and didn't want babies I would work around their wedding. It's a few hours out of 1 day. If I didn't wanna work around it to see my friend get married then they're probably not all that important to me and I can miss the wedding anyway.

I have a question. We are also having an adults only wedding (and I don't have children so I don't have experience with this).

I tend to agree that nursing infants would be a generally accepted exception. However, and I'm going to explain my cousins situation for context, at what point do you draw the line,

My cousins wedding was adults only which she put on her wedding website. My cousin was asked by a friend if nursing babies were an exception, which My cousin Replied "of course!" And the friend, who had a 1.5 year old, brought her child because she "still breastfeeds her. " The 1.5 year old was a typical almost two year old, running around at the reception and throwing a temper tantrum at one point. My cousin was pissed but there wasn't anything she could do.

I had no idea you could breastfeed that long, I obviously have 0 experience with this. I don't want to start a debate or anything I'm genuinely curious if anyone has any experience with this.

I obviously am not going to tell mothers that their decisions regarding feeding their child needs to fit into a certain bubble- if this happened to me, I'd just grin and bear it, because there's not much I can do otherwise. Anyone ever hear of this?

Hi Vicki. Yes, there are women who breastfeed until their children are two (some exceptional cases are even longer).

But if that guest had manners, she'd know that the exception for nursing babies is for infants who rely on breast milk as their ONLY source of food. An 18-month child would probably have other food, and have breast milk as a supplement, so that person just chose to misbehave.

Well, they signed the guest book as a family, so maybe they are sharing their joy-as a family?

My friend will have a 2 month old baby by the time my wedding comes. We're having an adult only wedding (minus the flower girl) but I'm totally cool if she wants to bring the babe.

@Fitz, thank you! I honestly was so confused lol. Guess I have a lot to learn in the motherhood department (some day! Lol)

And yeah, I had a feeling that the guest was just being difficult, too.

I really dont think you can say much if the baby is nursing. Maybe just address it with her and ask what her plans are?

If the baby is nursing and the mom can't leave he/she for that reason, then the couple shouldn't come. Not every event includes children and just because someone made the choice to have a child, doesn't mean you should have to deal with it and make exceptions.

This thread again.

1- please don't judge or make assumptions about other parents. If she works, might be even more reason for her not to want to leave the baby on a weekend. Just because your BM feels comfortable leaving hers doesn't mean this other female guest feels the same, and that's OK.

2- Yeah, at the end of the day it's your wedding and you can put your foot down and tell them no babies are allowed because...I guess you'll need to make up a reason. Because there's really no good reason to exclude a nursing baby. It's one thing not to want to have a nursing baby in the limo with the wedding party while y'all drink and carry on. But a babe in arms at the ceremony? Even if the baby cries and the parents DON'T have the decency to step out, it won't get picked up on the microphone or be noticeable in your video. At the reception, you won't even notice it's there.

We have friends getting married a month after my due date. There's a chance depending on the baby's feeding schedule that I may have to take her. As a mom, I'm not going to disrupt my newborn's feeding schedule to accommodate friends at a wedding. If you feel that strongly about it have FH talk to the couple, but I'd expect a decline. I wouldn't put a wedding above the well being of my child. And I'd probably side eye anyone who expected me to, but that's just because to me having my friends at a wedding means more to me than whether or not there will be a baby there.

ETA: I agree that this isn't a set in stone rule if you really, really don't want kids there. Just saying you should probably expect a decline, but have FH talk to them.

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

OP, if I were you, I'd call the friend and confirm they are NOT bringing their child. If they say yes, then just tell them that your wedding is adults only, and if they can't make it because they do not want to leave their child, you completely understand and they will be missed.

FH has a friend that had 6 months to figure it out, now it's less than 60 days and she's saying either her husband has to stay home, or bring the kids. I told FH then I guess he'll be missed, or both of them will be.

You don't want kids at your wedding, you don't HAVE to. End of story.

@Cute - there is no reason she needs to "make up a reason." The reason is because she/her FH don't want to. No further explanation is needed.