So, I may have messed up... Church Wedding vs. Venue Wedding

No Eleanor you can't always do that, like pp said you can only do that under very rare circumstances.

OP listen to sarahs advice please

***bat signal Jeanne***

Seriously, start calling your local churches. I live on LI and you are getting married in prime season. You may have to change the date.

Most churches won't marry you inside the church on a Sunday.

@ Sarah and MNBride, well. We talked to my priest about it and he said this would be fine. We're not getting married in the church because that's not what my FH wants. So, I guess call your local parish.

My parish also requires you be a member or have significant ties to the church because of how many weddings they do and the church is very pretty. They tell many brides no every year.

Do NOT count on being able to obtain a convalidation after the fact. Those are typically only granted when there were extenuating circumstances, like being in a foreign country and not having a church nearby, or if you weren't Catholic before you got married but then converted and wanted to have your marriage blessed.

If it's important to you to get married in the church, start calling whatever parish you have a relationship with and work from there. They can walk you through when they have classes available, when you could meet with a priest, etc.

I'm planning to make some phone calls -- worse thing that happens is they say no. The venue and date can not be changed, that's not an option. Someone did mention that because it's a Sunday, churches may not welcome us regardless of anything else.

I still don't even get how this happens, to have something be so important, but not have looked into what is required to make it happen. If it is that important to have it recognized, I would think a person would know ahead of time what their church requires. Like after you get engaged, the priest would be like "hey, btw...don't forget you need to do these classes and other things." Or that it wouldn't be a priority on the list to find out what is required.

Because it's on a Sunday - one thing to consider would be saying the vows privately at the church then having the reception later that day. I've seen people say their vows during or after regularly scheduled Masses when it was a very small group. Just a thought to run by the parish.

Speak to your priest. In some cases, the bishop may allow dispensation for a priest to marry you outside of the catholic church. It can't hurt to make an inquiry.

If that doesn't work out, you can always plan to be married at your church at another time, after meeting all requirements such as pre-cana. This wouldn't have to be a big "to-do" , but you could invite your immediate family.

Well. Catholics can't get married outside and many Catholics want to do that now. I think some of the Catholic ideals are antiquated. Call around. I don't know why they wouldn't bless it later. Sometimes people have a change of heart and it'd be stupid not to bless those marriages, but what do I know.

@Beau's Babe, watch yourself I was already slapped on this wrist for saying the same thing.

OP, what faith is your fiance?

@EleanorRigby, I think that is the point, you don't know. If you are a practicing Catholic you wouldn't want to get married anywhere but in your church. It's a sacrament and such a beautiful experience, it never crossed our minds to get married outside of the church.

Ok then, call the church and ask them to send a priest to your venue and then please come back and tell us what they say. I could use a good laugh.

@Mrs. B, check your attitude. Both me and FH are practicing Catholics. And get off your high horse. Maybe we're just not "as Catholic" as you but don't tell me I don't know my own religion. I talked to my priest about both getting married in and out of the church and he assured me we can do a blessing afterward, after classes and what not, and it would be just as recognized as anyone who went through the church. There are lots of reasons we aren't doing it in the church. Please don't come off so "Catholic Judgey" that look doesn't look good on anyone.

Actually contrary to most people here, we are getting married by a deacon. FH is not Catholic and a priest will not marry a Catholic and non Catholic. The RCC won't marry outside the church though.

I used to live in Mattituck NY where are you getting married and where do you live now?

I really don't appreciate the snide comments, honestly. I came for advice, not to be spoken down to. If you don't have positive advice, honestly, don't posting because I'm stressed out enough - as most of us are, and I don't need your negativity.

As brides, we all know this is a very stressful time. Like I said earlier we were supposed to get married at the venue; having now researched how to go about hiring someone, we're realizing the issues.

And frankly, you don't know what other situations are going on during this time, maybe like people have heart surgery, moving, starting a new job. Sometimes you do things and realize other aspects afterwards. I'm sure you've 2nd guessed some decisions in your life. JadedRaven, clearly this was directed towards you.

Hi Liz, we are getting married in Wading River (our hotel is in Riverhead), I'm from Western Nassau