skipping the proposal

I think that movies have given us the perception that there has to be a "perfect" proposal. I love the Shellies and Vanilla stories. I think they are sweet. Romantic Comedies give false hope that thats how proposals should be done. Its not. Its about you and your signif other and what works best for you guys

Well said Future Mrs. K ! That's what I'm trying to say. It's not about the perfect proposal. It's not about a grand gesture. It's about something from the heart. And I totally agree that Shellie and Vanilla_Nut's stories are super cute and memorable.

He never did a proposal. It was more of a "When are we getting married?" "I dunno, next year?" "okay" kind of deal. Every once in awhile I wonder was his proposal would of been like, but then I realize he's not an overly mushy kind of guy. LOL But while planning, I was focused on the wedding AND our life together after the fact.

We were together for 5 years, I never really got an official surprise proposal, but I don't really mind. I think it's more important that you're together and getting married. To me, fretting about the proposal is like splitting hairs.

It kinda matters, and kind doesn't. My FH and I talked about getting married alot, and i pretty much knew he was gonna propose before he did. I did not know the exact date but I knew. he tried to make it really romantic, and it was. But my point is, we talked about it for awhile, and we knew we were getting married, and even had a date tentaively picked out, and we were just waiting to make things 'offical' before we told our family and friends. But we knew, and I think that's all that matters when you get down to it. whether he propsed or not(though i am glad he did) we were still planning on getting married.

We are on both sides of that. We have things we wanted to accomplish before getting married and we talked about that early on. My FH gave me a promise ring to hold me over until he could afford the ring he wanted and actually encouraged me to start planning and such at Christmas, but we werent going to set a date until he officially proposed. However a little birdie has recently told me my E ring is at Kays getting some gem work. I can't wait until it is sent to him and he finally does propose because I know he has been wanting to for awhile. I can't wait to see it, I surprised the heck out of myself by bursting into tears when I found out he was finally able to buy it. I'm sure I will be bawling as soon as he actually starts to ask

However this really doesnt change anything..we will have our wedding when it is the right time. We are still juggling with school right now. Its a process we both want to take the time and enjoy. We already got each other, thats all that matters!

We started talking marriage fairly quickly, because we were good friends before we ever started dating. We handled the process as an ongoing conversation over several months, vs. a big surprise. I wanted to be an equal partner in the decision, but understood he wanted to do a proposal because he just really wanted that big moment. I sent him pictures of what sort of rings I liked.

He kept the proposal itself simple and sweet. He took me to brunch on the restaurant where we went for our first official date, then talked me into going for a walk afterwards. Then he dropped down on one knee and gave a speech that made no sense whatsoever. It was postiviely garbled and goofy, and I responded with "Thank you! Uh, I mean yes!" Then, later that night, he arranged a surprise party at a local bar with all of our friends. It wasn't froofy or romantic, but he gave a lot of thought to what would make me happy.

Future Mrs Hardcastle, that's a beautiful, sweet and intimate proposal. But it was a proposal. My understanding of the question was did it matter to those who got none. Really, those who didn't won't know until farther down the road. I didn't get one and it mattered later. I agree with the OP that it didn't have to be my name written in the sky or some other major event. Having a ring at the time wouldn't even be necessary. Just something special. You know, even to take my hand, look in my eyes with love and tell me he wanted to marry me. I regretted not having even the simplest of proposals.

Patricia... I have to disagree.. you *did* get a proposal... so at the point it's moot. My statement was purely about not getting on *at all*. So there is no need to disagree, apparently we are on the same side...

@ I Need A New Name- if it is *important to you* then that's all that matters. He should respect that. For some women, including myself, it's not about the grand gesture, it's about the deeper meaning of what's in *his* heart. Most men don't say it, or say it well, or even often... so in that *one moment*, we just want to know *what* we mean to you, and why you have chosen us to be your lifelong companion.

Jaclyn B-

That's exactly where we are at. I know he is going to ask... in 15 days as a matter of fact. But we have refrained from really telling my family, or annoucing it per se, until it's "official"... and that's ok too. Someone else said it before, and I'll say it again... to each their own

I apologize for all the reply's, but I got a PM about this thread, and since I hadn't been on all day, popped on over to see what happened. I had replies in my head to posts I wanted to say aomething too, and didn't want to forget them...

I'm recently engaged. And we decided it together while eating our weekend breakfast. But honestly that's how we work. We talk to each other every day about anything and everything and I don't think he would have ever gotten down on one knee because we decide our life plans together. I think the one thing that bothers me is that I don't have an engagement ring. Not necessarily for having one but because weirdly enough I feel like I am presenting myself as single in a way when that's 100% inaccurate. But I'd must rather just spend the money on two wedding bands for us since I'm not a big jewelry person

Sorry for opening up an old thread, but I'm in the "no proposal" boat here. He hasnt proposed but we are planning our April 2019 wedding right now. 4 months away! We have our venue paid for already and are working on what food to have. We have looked into rings and decided on what we want. Custom Black Fire Opal rings that will match as best as 2 Black Fire Opals can.

I think this totally depends on what you and your future spouse want! My FH proposed traditionally (we discussed marriage and picked my ring out together, so I was not surprised) but I wasn’t super emotional or giddy. I was very happy, but it worked for us

I'm worried about being disappointed too. I designed the ring myself so it's really no surprise. My bf is terrible at stuff like this. I don't even know if he tries if I don't complain. I was so afraid of being disappointed that I gave very specific hints about what would be acceptable. I wonder if I ruined the experience. I think I might have been devastated if it wasn't a certain way at least. What do you think? I know when the ring will be here, the specifics, and the day.

What are normal proposal expectations? I'm not asking for a violinist or a hiding photographer. I'm not asking for my dream proposal. Just dinner at a very nice restaurant and the typical techniques that don't even take much imagination like rose petals, candles, champagne.

View Quoted Comment If you like a little ceremony, and a stage set for romance, both of you, that is great. Things are more fluid and spontaneous with us. We had just signed a lease for an apt. To move in together, 9 months after we met. And the conversation became, and then what? Very clear, we both wanted to get married. Soon. And 5 months later, we married in a formal ceremony. But the proposal, there really wasn't one. I never had any dreams of one. We were talking while putting his dishes in bubble wrap, to move. A happy agreement that we loved each other and should marry soon, more than a proposal.

Ah, thanks for the reassurance. I wasn't sure if I should have chanced him doing it by himself. Maybe it would have meant more. We've ended up talking about lots of things in detail also so it's not a surprise. But hearing everyone's stories brings everything down to earth. Everyone is different and I guess I can try to look on the bright side. Things aren't likely to be perfect I suppose.

I am lucky. I got engaged so long ago the big production number proposal hadn't been invented yet. My husband is much too modest and shy ever to go through something like that, so, if a Big Proposal had been required, I would be single to this day. "Well, let's get married, then" worked just fine and was very sweet.