Sister will not come to reception over plus one

If she's married, engaged, or in a relationship, I think it's only right to give her a plus one for her spouse or significant other.

Is she dating anyone? How old is she?
I would say that is her decision to attend or not. As much as it sucks that she may not be at your reception. I would not give her a plus one just to appease her. Obviously you didn't give her a plus one for a reason.

No. She is 38. She will only go to church ceremony. She is the only sibling that is single out of 7 and said she deserves a guest cuz she is a sibling. I won’t budge to appease her and she said that she will only come to the wedding. I’m so hurt she is making this about her

I mean I wouldn’t want to be the only sibling out of 7 who didn’t have a guest with them- that would make me feel really uncomfortable. It’s fine you don’t want to give her a plus one to appease her (though I honestly believe she should since every other sibling will have their SO with them), but then you have to accept that the consequence of that is her not attending the reception.

Some people think that all VIPs, which usually include siblings, should get a guest even if they're not in a relationship. I do not agree at all. They are the people who probably know the most amount of people there aside from the bride and groom. I totally think they should be able to take a significant other, but if they're not dating/married, nope, unless you're feeling generous, have the budget, and the space. I would tell her that's fine. Shes being selfish, and wants to take someone more than she wants to be there to support you. Again, if she's dating someone and just not married, then I think she should totally be invited with her significant other.

I'm going to side with your sister. Your choice is coming off as petty. Let her bring a guest

This was her text to me yesterday. But my other sister told me it’s bevause she isn’t getting a guest.

Good morning xxxxxxx.
I will only be able to attend the church ceremony. My daughter is able to attend both Events. I wanted to let you know as soon as possible so you can allow another to take my seat at the reception. I’d much rather be at the reception than the church lol but I’m glad to be able to be a part of the official ceremony!. See you soon!

I agree. If she is in a serious relationship she should receive a plus one. If not than I wouldnt spend the money on her bringing a random date that she may not even talk to in a few months

I notice you posted about this same thing 8 months ago. You can’t be surprised now that she’s following through and not attending when this is exactly what she told you in March.

She is justifying this by saying that She is attending the ceremony and that her being at the reception is not required. Should I tell her all or nothing?

View Quoted Comment Yes exactly what happened is she is making this all about herself. Only going to the ceremony. Is that proper to only attend one. Shouldn’t it be all or nothing?

View Quoted Comment I know plenty of people who have guests attend only one or the other. If you don’t want her at the ceremony because she feels uncomfortable going to the reception alone, tell her that and I’m sure you won’t have to worry about having a relationship with her at all anymore.

View Quoted Comment

Isn't a reception a sort of thank you for attending the ceremony for guests? If so, I don't think it's improper for her to attend the ceremony and not the reception. I generally think it's more rude to do the opposite (to attend the reception but not the ceremony).

That said, WHO does she want to bring? No one? She just wants the ability to bring someone? Seems odd..

Her text is also confusing compared to what you're saying.. she says she would rather go to the reception but is part of the ceremony so she will just do that. Does she have other kids that she has to get home to?

View Quoted Comment No it shouldn’t be.... I feel like you could bend to allow her a plus one. I’m sure it won’t bust the budget. It’s your sister not just a random family member asking. It seems like you’re being too controlling by saying all or nothing and it’s not fair

No. She wants to bring her step daughter as her guest. She wants both her daughter there. One is my niece the other is her stepdaughter. Her daughter is 16, the step daughter is 25 and my sister is 38. They are more friends than step daughter step mom.

I just wasn’t thinking and told her no can’t make exceptions but Now even if I do bend she is stubborn and will refuse because I excluded her her out the initial.

“One is my niece and one is her stepdaughter”

I have no idea how long her stepdaughter has been in her life, but I hope that no one in my husband’s family or in exH’s wife’s family ever have the audacity to say this about my daughter that I share with exH.

My mother just texted me now and said she is hurt and feels excluded because of her single status. She’s mad because I joked and said That her biological daughter is her guest.

Its not even a date she wants. I can’t believe that she will send her 16 year old daughter to the reception and refuse to come without a guest. Now it makes less sense to me. It’s not even over a real date.

View Quoted Comment I didn’t really mean it like that. I’m just trying to show the Relationship of the guest she thinks she can dictate. I need it to distinguish her birth daughter from her stepdaughter for reference only it wasn’t to be mean to the stepdaughter. She has known her for 16 years since my niece is 16.

View Quoted Comment Does SHE distinguish between her birth daughter and her stepdaughter? If not, perhaps that’s why she wants to bring her stepdaughter- so she can include her second daughter in an important family event since she’s been part of the family for the last 16 years.