Single guests allowed to bring dates?

I made absolutely certain that for every single guest we invited there was a "plus 1" included. I didn't marry until I was much older, so as a longtime single I was invited to many a wedding sans a guest. And often, I really didn't know anyone else other than the B&G. Weddings became dull, boring, torturous affairs, where I was firmly convinced I had only been invited for the gift I was expected to extend. Eventually I stopped going and simply sent the expected gift.

When my wedding came along, I vowed I would absolutely not put another single person through what I had been through!

I thought it was veryyyy rude to tell singles that aren't married,engaged, or in long term relationships that they couldn't bring a date. But because we have to cut our guest list down.. That's what will be requested....

Our wedding is really small 45-50 people and three of my girlfriends that are attending are not in relationships and they ARE NOT getting a plus one. Neither are any of FH single friends or our family members that are single and not in committed relationships. I can't justify paying $45-$50 a plate for someone I don't know for our imitate celebrations. Everyone has been very understanding, Thank God !!! LOL!!!

Most of the single people invited to our wedding are the groomsmen and they all know each other so its not like they wont have anyone to talk to. Unlikely they will form any lasting relationships by the wedding so we are not encouraging them to bring a date. Besides they will be in the ceremony and stuck at the bridal party table for alot of the wedding. Their poor date would be the one left out.

Well said Michele!

I think "committed relationship" is a better rule than "living together, engaged, married". FH and I dated 3 years before living together, and in that time we shared money, I took care of his mother in hospice, we shared holidays with each other's families, and we were basically a social unit. I wouldn't have attended a wedding without him.

I completely agree with what some others have said, especially Michele! I think that it is a common courtesy to allow guests (ALL guests) to bring a date. Who am I to judge their commitment level or make tough calls like that?! Who wants their guests to be miserable at their wedding? While it is my wedding, I absolutely don't go by that whole "It's my day" crap...it's EVERYONE's day and everyone cares, wants to be included/feel welcome, and should be happy.

When people make "rules" about who to give a plus one to, it leaves out people like @Kris's situation above...like I said, who am I to judge that? And I know there is an argument that if you don't really know these people and know they won't be around forever, then why would you spend money on them and want them in your pictures? If that is your opinion, then I understand, but for me personally, I DO care about the guest I invited and DO want them in my pictures, so giving everyone a plus one makes them happy and I (cont)

(cont) want to make the people I care about happy.

It is a personal opinion and you by no means HAVE to give everyone a plus one, but I would take a hard look at what people do in your family and circles and where your priorities lie.

Well for us, it's not even a "you're random and I don't know if you'll be around in 3 weeks!" situation, it's more of budgetary constraints that are pushing us to the "no dates" side.

And social unit makes sense. My fiance and I still don't live together but have been going to weddings [invited] together for three years. He got an invitation addressed to just him and didn't include me this past summer. I didn't know the couple (only met the groom once) and they didn't know me and when I wasnt included on the invitation, I honestly didn't think anything of it except that it was likely a financially driven decision. He sent in the RSVP for himself, and the groom actually called him and said it had been an accident by the bride and that I certainly was invited, so that turned out fine, but again, I was not even remotely offended about not being invited by a couple I barely knew.

You just have to decide what's best for you and FH given your individual circumstances.

To answer your question of how to convey this without sounding rude, unfortunately, that tends to be a heavily-discussed topic on WW. The sad truth is that no matter what you do or how strongly you word things, people will still end up inviting those who aren't invited. To this day, I have no idea why people do this, but they do. One method used by a lot of brides that has worked fairly well is to put directly on the invitation: "__ seats have been reserved in your honor." That at least makes it blatantly obvious who gets a plus one and who doesn't. Obviously, when you address your invitations it is indicated, but some people just don't get it

I understand both sides of this so I honestly think its what works best for you.

AT FIRST, I was not ok with single people bringing a random date to my wedding when I had no idea who they were, so I made a no plus one rule since almost all my guests had a SO. But the more I went over my list, the more I realized there would actually only be 2 single guys and 1 girl at my wedding. Even though each "single" knew a few people there, I called them and asked if they wanted to bring someone and to my surprise, they all said no. The 2 guys had kids that were invited so they spent time with their kids. The single gal, brought her mom, which I wanted to invite anyways but I kinda forgot lol.

I still had to limit my seating so on the RSVP I worded it to state how many seats would be reserved and if anyone asked after that, we let people know that due to venue restrictions, we could only allow those whom we invited.

And I will mention that my brother is known to have a string of random chicks (like your friend) he dates so he was not getting a plus 1. However he started dating one and I told him the ONLY way she was getting invited is if she actually met my family. So he brought her over to meet everyone at a family gathering and they are still together...shocking lol

Ohh, I like the idea of "___ seats have been reserved in your honor". That should [hopefully] leave no room for confusion...Thanks for the tip!

We are sticking to no plus ones except for those married, dating for awhile, engaged, or those that will not know anyone else (we have 2 of those cases)

Mrs Clark that's awesome!

Yeah, I agree, I don't think there can be a hard and fast rule, I think you just have to evaluate YOUR guest list and figure out what's going to make them all (and you) the most comfortable. We don't have a ton of single guests and those single guests are past the random date phase, so it's not a huge risk to offer them a plus one. It's really just a consideration for them since they're travelling for the wedding.

The guest list is difficult no matter what. I feel you. Good luck!!!

I am not allowing anyone who is not in a committed relationship to bring a date. And by committed I mean engaged/living together/been together a year or more.

We did not add plus ones for the single, only the bridal party because we knew most of them would be sleeping with us at the hotel the night before so we wanted to make sure they have a ride home after the wedding.

We invited married couples, engaged, living together or serious relationships, we came accross a few issues where some of our single guests apparently did have serious GFs (all of a sudden), we put them on hold until we had cancellation then we ended up adding 10 more guests including 6 plus ones that were not originally invited, and I wish I never did because 5 of these plus ones did not show up and our friends did not even bother to call and let us know.

And they were the ones calling us almost everyday to check if we could add their GFs, I will always stick to my original plans from now on.

We added the info on our wedding site and it was also shared by word of mouth, we only had one guest who did show up with a plus one. everyone else got the message.

I'm allowing wedding party, significant others(if they are living with eachother, been together for a long time, married or engaged) and anyone who will literally know NO ONE. THATS IT. Not everyone that is single will get a plus one. NOT gonna happen

According to books and research .... LOL but seriously, a plus one should be extended to guest who have been in a relationship longer then a year. We also have asked all our friends to not bring a date, luckily our wedding is small and only are closest friends are invited so i had no issue bringing up the subject or telling them its no dates, minus the married couples, and the exception of two of my girlfriends who have been with there boo's for a long time!

Yea I was thinking the same thing.... My FH has 2 brothers... one has been with his gf for a while so we'll give him "and guest" but then theres his other brother who seems to always have a different girlfriend every few months. I was thinking of just not giving him an "and guest" but idk if that would be rude because his brother is getting one. But he's gonna be a groomsmen and it would be wierd to have some girl that he just happens to be dating at the time up there... besides i frankly don't want to pay for her.

We invited spouses, living together, long-term SO's by name rather than plus ones. Our single guests do not have a plus one. We're having a small wedding (50ppl) and can't afford to pay for strangers. If we were having a larger wedding, like 200ppl, then I woud have set up my guest list and budget to offer plus ones. Fortunately, our single guests will know other ppl there and be seated with them. And if we get less than 50 RSVP's then we will offer a plus one to our single guests. They've all been really understanding thus far.