Sick and tired of HoneyFund

Wow, this is incredible. The number of people that claim that people will send gift cards, cash, or checks is astonishing. If y'all are so traditional, then why do you have registries. Shouldn't you be gifting gold and goats?

Anyone who mails you a card with a cash or a gift card in it is an idiot. The number of people that still have checkbooks is incredibly small, and it should be. If you're still using checks and are under the age of 50 you probably have poor money management skills. So that leaves people with the option of handing you a card at your wedding with cash or a gift card in it. If that happens, where should I store it so it doesn't get stolen? I imagine that people working weddings know that cards have cash and gift cards in them since almost no one uses checks anymore so that seems like a great way to encourage theft.

My fiancee and I have never gifted money because we didn't have a means to give the couple money. If they had a honeyfund I can think of one couple that would have gotten that instead of some hand towels and a globe that were the only things left on their very small registry. Having a small registry doesn't mean you'll get cash, checks, or gift cards, it just means you're going to make it hard for your guests to give you something you actually would use.

TLDR; Get with this century. Not everyone needs a bunch of household goods and not everyone has a checkbook or wants to send something that is easily stolen. If you don't like honeyfunds, then cool. Just like any other item on a registry, if you don't like it then don't buy it for the couple. Otherwise, maybe stick with real tradition and gift some goats and gold.

👏👏👏

This 💯.

I think Honeyfund is a great idea. My future husband and I have worked hard and have all of our household needs met, however with mounting medical and student loan debt a honeymoon would normally be out of the question. In fact, in our 7 years together we've never been able to go on vacation together outside a holiday weekend staycation. I think it's tacky to demand any gift, however providing an option that would help make an otherwise unreachable goal a reality, how could that be bad?

I have discussed this with friends and family and mostly been met with relief as it means they can get us something without the pressure and inconvenience of shopping while also also providing something that won't contribute to clutter but rather to precious memories and an adventure.

Also, to debunk a thing going on this thread, you can't just "cash in" your honeyfund. You can change your mind on your vacation package, sure but you can't just use it for whatever.

I’m getting married in just a couple of weeks, and my future husband and I are doing a honey fund. I have gone to several weddings with these and I prefer it over any other registry. Going to a wedding is about celebrating someone that you love finding a person that they love. It’s about celebrating their future together and their life together. Sure, towels and knickknacks are nice. But, in ten years, what real value did a towel bring to them? Things wear out and break down and eventually go in the trash. Memories and experiences are important. Memories last the lifetime that you hope they actually spend together. They make life worth living. If I can give someone amazing memories, and laughter, and adventure, and discovery... then that’s what I’m going to do.

Honey funds aren’t about being rude, or crass, or money hungry. It’s about being somewhere wonderful, with someone wonderful and just laughing and playing for a little while.

I hate these Honeyfund requests. Nothing says “we aspire to a lifestyle we can not afford. However, because we are in love, we are entitled to it, so pay for it for us”. A wedding is not an accomplishment, like a college degree, but a promise to accomplish something (a long and happy marriage). So asking for trips? Please. If it wasn’t about greed and stupidity (how manipulative these sites are to spin it like you are doing your friends and family a favor) and you actually invite good friends and close family, wouldn’t they know your preferences? So many great posts on this thread. Bottom line for me? I’ll continue to write checks.

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I agree with this! I'm from the south where money dances are the norm at a wedding. I've gone to a wedding where the couple opted not to do a money dance, and the guests were upset. It's fun for us. We want to give you a bit of cash to either take on your honeymoon, or pay your bills, or whatever. We see it as gratitude. As a thank you for inviting us to be a part of your special day.

As far as honeyfunds, I didn't see an issue with those either until I read this thread and learned that the couple doesn't get all of the money. I didn't know that, but I also haven't seen a lot of honeyfunds in my day. I think that part is pretty crappy. I plan on sticking to pinning some money on someone when I can, if not, I think money, in whatever form, is a practical gift. That's just my personal opinion.

I went to a wedding in June of 2015. They put on their invitations...no joke, a little poem about how they didn't need anything but wanted money for a honeymoon. I was like...really??? A few peeps in the inner circle made comments about it being rude. I didn't give them any money towards it. They got a Macy's.com gift card. You can buy household items, clothing, shoes...bla bla bla. There ya go.

Fun fact...THEY NEVER WENT ON A VACATION HONEYMOON! Here we are three years later and they have never went on their honeymoon that they asked people to pay for. So where did the money go? Nope, sorry, I do not fund vacations. That is not part of necessities when starting a new life, that is an extravagance that you can pay for on your own. Sorry, just do not agree with asking for cash.

Yes, this exactly! I didn't do a honeyfund for my wedding as I don't personally agree with them. However I am certainly not going to think less of anyone that has one and wouldn't complain, start a post on WW, etc. Everyone can make their own decisions - including the decision regarding what gift to give.....

I just got married last week ,and we had a honeyfund. We are both 28, and have been living together in our home for 6 years. As others for honeyfund have suggested, we have everything we need to live in our home. This to me implies anything we purchase or scan at the big box store will be “just for kicks” ,”cute”, or “nice to have”. They are by no means necessary, otherwise we would have purchased them. Now I had heard grumbles about Honeyfund, but it was only afterwards that I started seeing people attack it rather harshly. I personally fail to see how it is any different than any other registry. I am not BEGGING you for money any more than I am BEGGING you to buy me that weighted blanket Ive always wanted to try. It’s not anymore RUDE than you getting me a pillow that wasn’t on my registry from Target that I return for cash, and you can’t find it in our home when you come over. We wanted to make our honeymoon extra special, and allow people to chip in to something that will have an impact in our lives. I personally think we handled this situation a bit different than most, and that may be why I am at peace with our decision. 1. We didn’t use the honeyfund site as our only site. I paid for and setup a custom website with a simple URL. It is hosted by Squarespace, and offered ALL of the information needed for our wedding, as well as a honeymoon tab. I believe this prevented Honeyfund from being front and center, in fact, it was way in the back. 2. On the honeymoon page, we showed photos from our previous cruise vacation, and talked about how we were going on another cruise for our honeymoon. NOTE: We already booked the cruise. We are going regardless of contributions to our honeyfund, and always made sure to make that clear. 3. At the bottom of the honeymoon page, it said “you’re presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all, but if you insist...” and links to Amazon, Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, and Honeyfund were below. We did NOT use the Honeyfund option to aggregate our other registries, and all of our registries were small in size, and low in cost. 2 items out of all of our registries broke $100.00. SO, up to this point, you had to DIG to get our honeyfund, and it was by no means pushed or given priority over any other registry. Once you got to our Honeyfund, the welcome page had a message going into better detail of the stops & activities aboard our honeymoon. We then had all of the excursions, hotel, flight, etc. etc. that people could chip in on in the categories. Any contribution to our honeyfund in any of those categories meant you were on an email list to get photos & videos of us doing the activity that you helped fund. I am usually pretty good about putting myself in other people’s shoes, and at no point do I believe I offended anyone or made them feel like it was required to purchase our love, or help with our honeymoon. It merely offered assistance with an experience, no matter the amount. You guys can save yourself the hassle of commenting on here, because I won’t be engaging and your points have probably already been made elsewhere. Simply offering up our experience with it.

HUNDREDS OF THEFTS HAPPEN AT WEDDINGS EVERY YEAR. That wouldn't happen if you had a honeymoon fund where all of the money was already in your bank account instead of out in the open at your wedding. Your guests know that the money is ending up in your account no matter what you do, so who cares about how it gets there? Are these women who think it's tacky stuck in the 1950s?

Also, I have lived with my FH for almost 7 years and we do not need any more material items. I'm even trying to downsize my house to cut back on unnecessary material items. So is it a Macy's gift card or nothing? Get with the times ladies, not all women are waiting to get married to start their lives.

Rachel was right lol Honeyfund was started by an entrepreneur couple - I actually saw them on an old episode of Shark Tank while binge watching the show on hulu lol guess who bought in as an investor? Mr Wonderful, Kevin OLeary

I am honestly SHOCKED by how much people are hating on honeyfund, I sure hope I don't get this many snooty elitist guests attending my wedding 😂 I started searching on this form looking for advice and opinions from brides who have actually done it, and instead found this... Luckily my friends and family won't turn their nose up because we plan on asking for something we actually want! *GASP!*

If my guests don't like it they don't have to donate, and if they are that stuck up they would be considerably upset and offended by the very idea then they don't have to come to my wedding at all! I don't need people like that in my life.

I also wanted to note that I had a friend who did the honeyfund request and I thought it was a great idea! I would so much rather donate to them having great memories than giving another toaster for their basement, or a lame gift card. And if it turns out they are never able to actually go then I hope they enjoyed the funds on whatever it was spent on (is that really so different from just giving straight up cash anyways?).

Also, @Mozabrat's comment above, I know the exact poem you are talking about... because I was already considering using it for my wedding, and after reading your comment and opinion on the matter... I'm definitely gonna use it 😎

Peace!

Honestly, I find a lot of people on this thread to be a bit out of touch. I know politeness used to be synonymous with secrecy and unspoken truths, but I think attitudes on that are changing. I'm just not sure giving someone a toaster they asked for is really that different than giving cash to buy something else they want. If anything, it's more convenient for your guests to provide an online portal to do so. I'd agree with also creating a Christmas presents list for the older folks, but I think we can do without the contrived injury brought on by a Honeyfund.

View Quoted Comment About friendors- one of my father's friends is a professional photographer and I asked him what his rates were (I had full intention of paying him of course) and he said he'd love to do it as a wedding present.
Does it make me a bad person to accept that offer?

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Agree with this 100%

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NOT AT ALL, he is offering. this will save you thousands. if you do feel bad, you could still try to shoot some cash his way as a thank you.

Friends and family like to contribute to your happiness.

The comments on this thread and many others like it on this site are disgusting to read! It makes me not even want to have a wedding with guests if everyone thinks like the people in this discussion! If you are so disgusted by these people’s wedding styles, why are you going???? Please decline! If they knew how you talked about them and their special day, they wouldn’t want you there anyway! I know I wouldn’t! A wedding isn’t a performance, it’s a celebration of the couple’s unity. If you can’t celebrate WITH them in the ways they see fit, DON’T celebrate at all. No one should be deciding what type of gift the couple “deserves” based on their form of registry. If that is the case, you obviously don’t love the couple for who they are and are disgustingly judgemental of your so called friends/loved ones.

I think they are ridiculous!

View Quoted Comment You are so correct..sounds like a lot of people have guests that hate them. Lol. Thats shameful