Sick and tired of HoneyFund

What can you do? You can find that Harvest Gold electric skillet,wrap that sucker up with a box of Rice-A-Roni and call it done ;-)

Wow I had no idea people had such strong opinions... I went to two weddings last year that had honeymoon funds and we loved it.... we didn't see i gift on the registry that we wanted to give so we checked out their honeymoon fund. I thought it was cool being a part of their honeymoon as well. Traveling together is also important. I knew it really didn't matter if we picked to pay for part of their massage, or dinner out, or any of the other options because it would all just be lumped up together but it was still fun thinking that your money was going towards a special experience on their honeymoon. I don't really enjoy giving cash. It doesn't feel special, but donating to a honeymoon felt like it had a little more meaning. Am I wrong? Am I just naive? Haha a side note: they didn't do it because they were poor or greedy or anything like that. They both could easily afford the honeymoons they were planning. And before anyone asks or accuses I'm not having a honeymoon fund.

Jessica? You gave them a check with a fee taken out. They might have used it for the gas bill.

I'd betcha that Southern Weddings is promoting it because they got paid to do so.

I have never heard of a honeymoon fund until I started planning my wedding. I do think that it is very tacky but on the other hand I do not plan to have a registry because we don't really need anything. If I get a blender, I'm fine with it. I'm also fine with just a card with nothing in it. I am paying for the wedding and honeymoon by myself and would never ask for someone to help with that.

I've seen it proven a few times now that no one likes the HoneyFund. A few people did this for their wedding and I think the most anyone got was $5. One couple I guess was super dependent on it as well as their way overpriced registry and threw a fit when they didn't recieve many gifts. Granted, that was the same couple that did a potluck.

I can understand why people don't just want to give cash, as well. They don't know for sure what you'll do with it. So always give alternatives so guests can feel like they're giving you something you'll actually use.

I think cash is special. I love getting it as a gift. I don't care where the couple spends my gift -- that is totally up to them.

I had a friend make a registry and out of 300 guest only one person actually bought anything off the registry... I feel its the same with a honeyfund.. if what you want is to go snorkeling on your honeymoon and someone wants to gift that to you why is that a problem?

@katherine because it's tacky to ask for money, because the company take a percentage, and because they don't actually get the excursion, they just get a check after the fact.

As PPs have all listed above...

Because Katherine, that's not what they get. They get a check with a fee taken out of whatever you gave them.

Personally, IDK if a couple does a Honeyfund or not. As a guest, I usually give a gift of money for them to use as they wish. They could very well use it towards their honeymoon. If so, that's great...I hope they have a fabulous time : )

One thing I did learn from these WW forums is that there is a fee for this...that does annoy me & as a guest, you may not know this : (

I agree 100

I'm actually pretty shocked by this thread. I just went to a wedding last night and the couple had a honeyfund. I thought it was such a cute idea! They are already going, so why not give them a little play money while they're there and or help subsidize the cost. If you're so disgusted with the bride and groom you probably should decline their invitation. I'm more than happy to chip in for the newly weds that just spent a bunch of money on their wedding and invited me to share that special day with them. To each their own I suppose. Just because YOU would rather give them a toaster it doesn't mean the bride and groom are wrong or tacky. It's a YOU issue for thinking so negatively.

Personally, I know it's crass as all get out but I'm not offended by the idea of a honeyfund. I do think a lot of the reasons are a little ridiculous. I got some boxed gifts off our registry and some off - I even got a pan when I had registered for an gotten all new pots and pans. I did what anyone would do I would think, wrote a thank you note and returned it. *shrug*

The thing I HATE about these is that the couple doesn't get all of your money you gift. If I want to give someone $150 I want them to get $150. Not a percentage of that. And I think a lot of people aren't aware that the couple isn't getting all of the money gifted which is even worse...

Yes one thousand times. As someone who is 53 years old and had been attending weddings for over forty years as well, I am horrified at honeyfunds. It used to be we went to a wedding at a church (probably for free or low cost), went to a VFW/Legion Hall for a dinner and dance (also low cost, we looked into them ourselves for this fall) we ate a dinner and had open bar, danced the chicken dance and a good times was had by all. No honeyfunds, no proposing to bridesmaids, no props, no favors, no theme. My point? No wonder couples are looking for ways to squeeze cash out of guests, no wonder a wedding average is upwards of $35,000 these days!

Couples need to stop asking wedding guests to fund their life choices. We can figure you prefer cash on all on our own. Please don't tell a guest: How to dress, how to buy a card, how to buy you a gift or not to bring our kids. We got this.

"Please don't tell a guest: How to dress, how to buy a card, how to buy you a gift or not to bring our kids. We got this."

HA I just got a wedding invite that has 3 of these- they didnt tell me how to buy a card tho! (I kid you not, and its a flat out cash fund not even a honeyfund of very well off individuals that are having a destination wedding). I am in the same boat as you (and most posters here are against honeyfunds). Esp in some cultures or areas where cash gifts are not usually given (in the south people roll their eyes).

If someone is telling me they cant upgrade a single thing in their house over the next 5 years and "have everything they need, hence why they want you to fund their honeymoon or wedding", then they surely dont need cash from me. Both a honeymoon and a wedding is optional, and the couple should do a better job of saving money so they can have 1 or 2 of these things. I have seen a few honeyfunds that said "Your presence is enough of a gift for attending our wedding, but we are saving towards enough for XXX" and I think it makes it a little better because they arent expecting a gift, but for people that have these funds and expect everyone to just "donate" to them is ridiculous.

When I see someone that is honeyfund only, I probably end up spending a little less on the gift and give them a gift card towards an experience (its my money and I will chose the way I spend it).

There was a poster a while back who did not like the idea of cards - she thought they were wasteful. Fine, but she wanted people to write a congratulatory note on a post it or piece of scrap paper and give it to the couple. I (and many others) were like, "Look, I totally appreciate being green and recycling, but giving a card is a big deal for some - please don't take it from them NOR it is advisable to tell people how to shop." She doubled down and......well - what can ya do?

As for telling us not to bring our kids, just write Mr/Mrs Edwards on the invite, we know our little munchkins are not invited - no need to tell us "Adults Only."

Weddings and honeymoons are choices - if you can't afford them don't do it.

Folks can do what they want. It's not for me personally. I would rather use my resources to pay for the wedding and take a nice honeymoon aboard later on. You don't have to take the honeymoon right after the wedding.

You can take a weekend drive to a nearby beach, mountains, countryside winery, etc. - something simple and affordable to commemorate the union and then plan a nice honeymoon when you can budget for it. It's not necessary to go on a expensive honeymoon right after if you can't afford it. Take time to save up and do it at a later date, no need to go the honeyfund route, but hey, again it's that couples choice on how they chose to approach funding their event and honeymoon. It's not for me to judge.

In my opinion, if you don't want kids at the wedding, say so. If you don't want physical gifts, say so. If you refer a card and a monetary gift, say so. It's not what you say, but how you say it. All can be said in a tasteful way on your wedding website or a small insert card with the invitation. In some people's worlds they have to direct about certain things because if they don't say anything, they will get what they don't want.

If you feel the need to be clear about things, say so. If you feels none of those things need to be brought to the attention of your guest, say nothing. Everybody has choices and decisions to make about their event. Again, in my opinion, It's not about a general standard on how to do things, but really about knowing your family and friends. Knowing your guests. Everybody culture and interaction with their family and friends won't be the same. Where it would seem rude to be direct in one family, another family may welcome that direct communication and expect it. If guests are attending that aren't part of your core family and friends, they may have to 'get over' how you chose to approach communication for your event. Especially if these are associates who are not part of your immediately circle of family and friends (i.e. co-workers, a spouse's client, plus ones you don't even know, 4th cousin you haven't seen since you were 12) they will have to 'deal' because these are not individuals you speak to and associate with on a regular basis. You won't be able to please everybody, the couple should do what makes sense to them and doesn't add add'l stress or cause confusion for their special day.

Exactly. That's why I feel being direct is just being honest, why play games. If you only want monetary gifts, just say so. All this other stuff is just being extra and causing confusion in my opinion. I would be irritated if I was a guest and went out to a registry with little to no gift options available, I would be like 'what are they doing? Do they want money or gift card, which is it' cause I don't have time for the guessing game.

My thing is, if someone feels move to bless us with a card and monetary gift, that's fine. If they just want to give me a card that's fine too. I really don't care. I don't need a dime from any of my guest nor do I expect it. The wedding is for me and my fiance and we chose to invite the people we care about to share it with us. We are being responsible in our planning so we will have zero bills when the event is over, we won't owe a dime. So, no one needs to go in their wallet or purse if they don't want to, that's not the focus for us, its more about the celebration.