Sick and tired of HoneyFund

The Honeyfund, was, most likely, the brainchild of an entrepreneur who realized that wedding shows were winning in the ratings -- whether it was the "Bridezilla" gutter drama, the "Four Weddings" competition and cattiness, or David Tutera's "exchange your tacky wedding for a budgetless wonderland" wedding show. "Say Yes to the Dress" with the magnetic Randy at Kleinfeld's, shows about bridemaids' gowns, and another show about choosing a new gown or redesigning your mother's gown, drew countless bridal viewers in. Wedding TV is big business. Add to that, the kinda/sorta writers who wanted an audience to read their blogs, and when they suggested honeyfunds, potluck meals, friendors of every variety, and asking the local junior high school employee/guest to secure chairs for free, they developed a following -- a following without much of a budget. These ladies didn't want to host the 16 people they could afford; they wanted 100 guests, and if they couldn't host their guests, it didn't matter. The guests would hosts themselves, and the bridal couple. That is the subculture of American weddings, and honeyfunds are a part of it.

Yes, honeyfunds are a manufactured piece of capitalism. As someone who is 56 years old and has been attending weddings for four decades, I can't tell how repulsive this is to me. Never once -- not once -- has a couple in my family asked for money or donations so that they could take a honeymoon. It was a normal question, "Where are you going on your honeymoon?", and the couple had an answer. Why? Because it was the final stage of their wedding planning, something they funded. Oh, and just as a postscript, every one of our family brides and grooms were gifted with checks and cash. Nobody needed to be told that the couple needed money to take a honeymoon.

Alas, too many brides are buying into the tin cup approach to honeymoons. I don't see it going away any time soon.

Rachel, you're so good with stating your thoughts!

I agree, it's so tacky. People more than likely will bring you money as a gift. However, sadly, I don't think honey-funds will go away anytime soon.

I like the way Rachel thinks!

What I don't get is how a honeyfund is considered outrageously tacky, yet making your registry small so "guests will get the hint" isnt? Isn't that just a more sneaky way to get money from your guests? To me it's the same thing.

@kailee

Registry: Here are some items we would enjoy for our home as a newly married couple

Honeyfund: GIVE US MONEY

two different things.

@rachel you're responses are perfection.

A registry is made for the convenience of the guests. They aren't requests, they are suggestions -- multiple suggestions at all price points. A honeyfund is a different animal. It says, "We don't want a blender or a comforter that we'll add to our household and use for years to come -- we want an exotic vacation -- a ten day get away, and we want you to fund it." To ask your guests to fund your vacation is a hell of lot different that telling them that, if they want to give you a gift for your home, here are some suggestions we've come up with to preclude you from driving, shopping, and choosing something.

Thanks Juli. So appreciated.

I don know what "HoneyFund" is, so I'm assuming it's a show.

Aside, I don't think it's tacky at all. If you're poor and have everything you need otherwise, why not just ask for money from your guests? My fiancé and I are. We wouldn't be able to afford a honeymoon otherwise. Our wedding is already shitty because of this.

This is a bridal version of "Go Fund Me .com. I have a family friend whose daughter wants to go abroad. she can't afford it ,so she's asking for donations. I refuse. Earn the money yourself. It's electronic panhandling. Message is: I want it so you pay for it!

Preach.

It boggles the mind. I'm a professional, and I know 2 couples in my field that have participated in this disgusting new fad in the past year alone. They honestly saw nothing wrong with it.

One of the travel agents handed me this at the bridal expo this weekend...now we know who started it...

The next page...

I have heard from brides on other forums and they love honeyfunds cause guests will give more using credit then they would cash. It is a disgusting approach to your wedding and I hope they go away soon, but I fear they are here for the long term

How much does the company get ? 20%?

And what happens when Ashlyn is unable to afford the money due from guests who didn't cover their traveling asses?

I just don't understand why suddenly everyone thinks that their guests are so out of touch that they can't possibly think to put a check or cash in an envelope? If you don't want a certain boxed gift, don't put it on your registry. If you don't want any boxed gifts, don't make a registry at all. If someone is going to buy you a boxed gift that isn't on your registry, then they probably weren't going to give you cash regardless of if you had a registry for it. I had 139 guests at my wedding and got ONE boxed gift from HIGH SCHOOL KIDS who had no money. It's not that serious.

You aren't entitled to a honeymoon. You don't deserve a vacation because you got married. If you can take one, fantastic! Have a great trip because going on vacation is amazing. But you are not entitled to beg people to fund a vacation. Why is that so difficult to understand? And if you don't go on a honeymoon, YOU'RE STILL MARRIED! I posted this on another thread but my husband and I didn't go on a honeymoon because we couldn't afford one. We're still married and managed to survive. I just can't understand this attitude of thinking you deserve a vacation so badly that you would ask other people to give you money for it and think that that is perfectly fine. What a load of nonsense.

@Emily the answer to ur questions is yes it was necessary.. I can vent about it if I want to.. this is not a forum asking about should i make a HoneyFund this is to enlighten people who has been asking the same question over and over about it and hopefully they read this before they think about asking about it and getting serious heat about it.. thank you very much

I'd never heard of a honeyfund until a wedding last year, and along with all other guests that I knew we all thought it was a great idea, way more personal than towels and stuff, especially as our group of friends is all about going for nice meals and drinks and boat trips etc. - BUT we are in the UK and a lot of things I've read online say how they're more accepted in the UK (who knows why just one of those things I guess!)

I have a feeling they are here to stay... Even Southern Weddings was promoting them, and I find they usually try to promote proper etiquette. I guess not.

Honeyfunds just rub me the wrong way. I love to travel and I hope all couples get to take a great honeymoon but asking guests to fund your luxury all inclusive trip to Mexico when they can barely afford a simply trip to beach just makes you a jerk.

@BohoRN2017 I think you're totally right--they're here to stay, like it or lump it. Half of the weddings I've been to in the past couple of years have had some form of a honeyfund.

I think it's unbelievably crass and in poor taste, but what can you do? I predict they become even more common as time goes on.