Should I ask FH's Sister to be a bridesmaid?

It's your decision and all depends on the size of your BP. I'm sure your FH would love for his sister to be a part of the wedding if not the BP maybe you can bring her along with you while shopping for your dress or ask her for ideas.

I don't think that you should feel obligated to ask her. If you guys have a good relationship and you think she would want to be part of the wedding, it'd be nice to include her.

I wondered a bit about asking FH's sister as well, and I'm glad I did. It's her brother's wedding, she's going to be my SIL -- I like the idea of members of both of our families standing up next to us, and she was really happy and excited when I asked her. But do what's right for you, don't ask because you feel like you have to.

If your FH wants his sister there, he could just ask her to be his "best girl". She doesn't have to stand on your side

It's not that I feel obligated...I'm just not sure on what to do.

I know that even if she does expect it, it's my wedding and I can and should only ask who I want...but she is going to be my SIL so idk...it might be nice.

But I can see where some of you are coming from by saying that planning a wedding is stressful and not necessarily the best time to get to know someone so I still don't know lol.

Would you be comfortable with her in your bridal party? Do you genuinely want her there or do you feel it's more out of obligation towards her feelings? If you truly want her to be apart of this experience I think she'd be thrilled to be a bridesmaid for her brothers wedding. I almost didn't have my FSIL in the wedding party and I know I would have regretted that dearly because I truly want her apart of it all.

I think I would like to ask her to be in it....

I'll probably try to hang out with her a couple times more before I ask though.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to ask someone to where they feel like they don't HAVE to say yes? Cause I don't want her to feel obligated either...

I asked my FSIL to be a bm, well actually my FH asked her to be my bm. But anyway, since then she and I have been talking/emailing wayyyy more than ever and I really like where its headed for us. Neither she nor I have a real sister, and neither of us are real gushy or emotional, but she's been a major help with the wedding, and I am really glad she'll be up there with us.

You said she will have kids? Does she have any now? From my experience, new mothers I know seem to have little time or desire for other things (and understandably so). If your expectations are reasonable-- like she shows up and wears the dress, and you consider anything extra she does as a bonus and not requirement, then maybe ask her. But if you're looking for a busy mom to help you with DIY projects till 4a and drink all night at your bachelorette, than maybe not.

Megan M. - She has one kid now and she's due with her second in July...

My expectations wouldn't be high...I like to do things myself so it might just be like...show up to the bridal shower...come to the bachelorette if she can...and show up and wear the dress lol.

Then I'd ask her but that's just me

Thanks for all the advice! I think I'll probably end up asking her

I think it will be fun for your FH's sister to participate and it wouldn't hurt to ask. You'll get to spend time with her and get to know her a lot better and vice versa for her as well. I asked my FH's sisters (he has two sisters) and I think it will be fun.

I hope she accepts and you become closer with her. I love my FSIL. She's like a best friend to me.

I asked my FH's sister to be in mine. He was in his sister's wedding (on the boys' side). It took me a lot of convincing to let him know that he was in their wedding because of his sister which means her hubby does not need to be in our wedding party. But I think it's a nice gesture.

I am also like you with expectations. Get your dress. Show up. Don't F around. That's it.

Do you guys have a way of video chatting with her? Maybe if you ask her together over face time or webcam, you can simply say something to the effect "Please don't feel obligated to say yes, especially since you have two small kids, but we would both be honored if you'd be a bridesmaid in the wedding." Only far more eloquently than what I just wrote.

And yeah, my FH has been to bachelor parties where he's not been part of the wedding party.

I put my FH's sister as a bridesmaid. I don't think her feelings would have been hurt if I didn't have her in that role, but I did it more as a courtesy especially since my FH was willing to put my brother as one of his groomsman. Luckily we all get a long and our families are close family friends. I wouldn't put her in my bridal party if we didn't get a long, but luckily we do

I asked his sister to be a bridesmaid. And he asked my brother to be a groomsmen. I think it's a nice gesture. They deserve a special role in the wedding and you're right, it was a good way to get closer to them (after all, she'll be your new sister!) H's sister really appreciated being a part of it all and I was happy to do it!

I didn't ask either of FH's sisters to be in the bridal party. I already had 6 BMs as it was, and one of his sisters is too young at 14. I thought about it more from the financial side: FH's parents would probably end up shelling out for the younger sister's attire, and the older sister will be fresh out of college with student loans and a teacher's salary by the time the wedding comes along.

Both sisters are extremely talented musicians, so we're having them play the pre-ceremony music instead. Both are really excited about that and have already started putting music together.

You dont have to but if you to get along then you should ask her. I had dhs sister in my wedding and he asked my brother to be one of his gms

I asked FH's sister because he wanted me too.. even though I had never met her (since we were YOUNG), we weren't "friends" aaaaaand she is DRAMA.. BUT she ended up being too much drama for her own good and backed out and hasn't spoken to us since.. so it worked out for me in the end lol

If she hadn't been a crazy person though, i was totally okay with including her for FH

I had to kick my maid of honor out because she 1.) accused my fiance of being a cheater and then told him this stuff about him being a cheater, I proved that she was wrong but it didn't matter, he hates her. 2.) She wouldn't lift a chubby finger to help (lazy). 3.) We were mid-March and she had yet to even start planning the bachelorette 4.) She hadn't bought her dress yet. So I replaced her with someone that was already a bridesmaid, I asked my future SIL to be a bridesmaid so I could have 4 of them, and she just got married in January and my FH was in her wedding so she said yes! She's non-drama and if we dance into the wedding reception she's one of the only bridal party members that will. I'm glad my other MOH is gone, haah, bubbye.

Lots of close male friends are invited to the Bachelor party, so I wouldn't say he expects to be in the wedding.

However, if you aren't close with her, then don't ask her. If your FH wants her in the wedding, he can ask her to stand up on his side.

I asked my FSIL, because we are close. And I'm in her wedding. I'm looking forward to it.