Should I ask FH's Sister to be a bridesmaid?

Its your choice if you want to ask her.. You don't have to ask her.. She would probably only expect you to ask your close friends to be BMs.. I didn't ask H's sisters to be a BM, but his niece was the jr bridesmaid which they were happy with anyway so it worked out..

Yes!! It's his sister. She needs to be in the wedding whether your close or not. The BM aren't always brides friends and family

No, and she doesn't need to be in the wedding as your BM. Weddings usually put a lot of pressure on people, and it's NOT the right time to get to know people.

Also, the idea of a bridal party in general is that those are important people in your life who love you, support you, and want to stand up for you on your wedding day. Asking anyone out of courtesy almost certainly turns out to be a mistake.

I was in the same situation and asked FH sister. She was very happy about it and I'm hoping we grow closer after this is all over! You should definitely ask her!

Hmm see Lucky Me that's what I'm thinking. He and his family are fairly close so I wasn't sure if they'd expect it. I asked FH if she put her husband's sisters in her wedding and she did, but FH also said she was pretty close with them.

I also should add though...my FH was only an usher in his sister's wedding, and he was only added as an usher kind of last minute from what he tells me. So he isn't sure what his family would expect.

Mind you I wouldn't mind her to be a bridesmaid at all...I just worry about asking her if she doesn't really want to be in it...she will have two young kids at the time of the wedding.

It wouldn't be weird for her to be in the wedding party, but it also wouldn't be rude if she wasn't.

My FH has two sisters and I am not asking them to be in my wedding party as i am trying to keep it small. I also have a brother who isn't going to be in the wedding party.

It's not that big of a deal so do what you want!

Wow such mixed opinions! I love it lol gives me a variety of things to consider...

Keep em coming lol

Maybe get to know her and then decide because you don't want to regret it.i am not including FH's sister in mine. she isnt even invited.

Keep in mind that being in a WP is a financial commitment and usually means some work, even for the most liberal of brides. I honestly don't know why anybody would do it for anyone other than somebody they're close to.

That's true Mrs. S.

I keep going back and forth on whether or not I'm going to pay for my girl's stuff (dresses shoes jewelry etc.) Idk if I will be able to fit it in the budget...but if I can I would love to.

I don't think you have to have her just because its his sister I should say. I would ask him. For instance, I am super close with my bro. At the time me and his now wife were close but not like incredibly close. If she didn't ask me to be in their wedding I would've been upset because I wanted to stand up near my brother supporting him. For my wedding my FH is having my brother as a GM and also 2 of my guy friends that aren't really his friends per say but they are important to me so that's why he is having then stand with him. So ask your FH what he wants.

I asked my FH's sister to be a BM & I was surprised how excited she was! I've only met her a few times bc they live OOT, but it felt right & now we talk almost more than she an FH do. It's been great so far, I'm really glad I asked her

Do what feels right for you though, I don't think you should feel obligated to ask.

Honestly dont do it. she doesnt not HAVE to be part of the WP...i did this with FH SIL becuase I thought I had to and I regret it...mind you its mostly because they barely make ends meet and knowingly agreed to be part of the WP and now FH compains how they cant pay for their dress/tux. But even still, if you dont know her that well dont do it.

KristinB - See the thought of getting really close with my FSIL really appeals to me. I mean, she is someone I will have in my life for the rest of my life, so yeah I want to get to know her better. It's good to know that doing it that way worked out for you!

Lucky me - Very good point about wanting people who are important to you AND FH...I know if I had a brother (which I do) that I was super close to (which I don't) I would probably want FH to include him with his groomsmen...so very good point.

From a bride who asked her SIL to be in the wedding party... Unless you 100% trust her to/want her to be part of the BP (help with the shower, come to the bachelorette...) then I wouldn't ask her. If you do, go for it. I asked my SIL to be in our BP, and she whined about being a "40 something BM" and didnt come to the shower or bachelorette. She did not plan at all for our wedding. I was more hurt by her involvement than helped, and sadly, part of me resents her for it. Don't do it just because she is going to be your SIL. Do it because you want her next to you.

My opinion is that you shouldn't ask her especially if you're not close to her.. That's just me though.

It is up to you but I dont think doing it just because she is a sister should be an option

Part of me is unsure as to whether she might expect to be in it...she kind of seems like she expects her husband to be in it at least.

The night we got engaged she sent a text to FH saying "Tim is so excited about the bachelor party"...which makes me think he expects to be a groomsmen...cause why else would he go to the bachelor party.

Do whatever you feel is right for you. I personally think that wedding planning is kinda stressful, so it might be better to try to become closer with her outside of her being a bridesmaid... FH has 3 brothers, and I considered asking the wives and longtime girlfriend if they wanted to be BMs...but I was worried if I happened to turn into a bridezilla, I wouldn't want them to hate me.

People go to other people's bach parties even if they're not in the WP.

Also, you can certainly develop your relationship with her even if she's not your BM.

Most importantly, do NOT choose your WP based on what other people expect. That, without any doubt, is going to be a mistake.