Sharing Proposals / Contracts with Competing Vendors

We asked our vendors to put together proposals and when we received the final offers, we contacted the vendor that we most wanted to work with and asked if they could match x price. It worked out in our favor but, I would be hesitant to send them over actual proposals.

I'm not sure what the etiquette is here... It does seem a little shady to me like they're trying to steal their competitors ideas... I would just say this is what they're offering at this price, can you give me a better deal?

I think its okay to tell them what the final estimate is but only $ totals. I think asking to see the formal proposal is shady. I think that if they "did this all the time with each other" that caterer would know exactly what the other proposals usually looked like and would have the lowest price already.

It's a totally low rent and unprofessional act on that caterer's part. If that's the way they run their business, I wouldn't even consider working with them.

Tell them what you want, get a proposal and see what works better for you. If there are wild differences in any area (rental, staff, etc) ask why.

It's like going to a florist who then works on number of stems, vase cost, labor, setup/delivery for hours (and it does take hours) and then handing that over to someone else to underbid. Prices should be prices in a vacuum, not in comparison to someone else's prices.

Yeah I wouldn't do that. I don't think there's anything wrong with negotiating a bit if you really want to work with them but want the best price, but they shouldn't be asking to see the line item proposal from other people you've talked to. If they aren't already giving you what they believe to be the best price for the quality of product/work they give out, then I would say you don't want to work with them anyways.

That's absolutely unethical on the business' part. You can share a number, we did that with one of our hotels when we were looking at a room block, but I wouldn't share all of the details.

When I worked ft as an event designer I saw this occasionally, but it's frowned upon. We would never ask to see the bid, only ask what $$ they were trying to get to, and we'd see if we could match or beat it. Especially with creative vendors (decor, lighting, catering and floral) it's a huge no-no and they should know that. A lot of work goes into the proposal process, and sharing those concepts with competitors is not much different than you going out and executing their ideas on your own. It's akin to stealing if you ask most reputable vendors. Just share the bottom dollar, and if there's a big discrepancy between vendors and you are unsure why one bid higher than the other, it's ok to ask that. They should be able to defend their proposal, usually they are offering a higher quality or quantity of something and they are happy to share those details with you.

I've seen my designs executed by a competitor after losing a bid without explanation, and it's crappy. Not only did the competitor do a sub-par job on my idea, but it personally hurt to have my hard work stolen.

Don't think that's right. You want their best deal. Not some cut rate deal they are giving you to match someone else. Some things in the wedding industry is expensive because it has to do with weddings. But more expensive doesn't mean better. When I told my planner how much we allocated for photographer she said we needed to add $2k to get a good one. But before her we found a great one (recommended by a venue that was booked our date) prior to that I had seen his work on fb and WW even before the referral and thought we wouldnt be able to afford him. But when he sent his packages we could. He was booked a year and a half so getting to work with him was hard. But we got it and right at what we budgeted.

Thanks everyone. I agree with each of you. It seemed off to me too.

I went through and wrote down how the other competitors' proposals (without naming them) were different, and in what ways they were comparable. I had hoped that it would be sufficient for them to revise their estimate based on what I said, but she then reiterated that she needs to see the formal proposal in order to match it.

Erika, I think you did the right thing, and this caterer is being very unprofessional. I'd personally walk away, unless there is something they can do that the others can't, that you just love and have to have.

When we tender for engineering, bids are completely secret from other vendors (and even within evaluators only certain people are able to obtain pieces of the bid information). I agree that this sounds really shady, even if she has good intentions.