Rude to invite to reception but not ceremony?

My understanding is that it's only unacceptable to invite people to the ceremony but not the reception (opposite of your situation). However, my personal feeling is that if they aren't important enough to witness your actual union... do you need to invite them to a reception?

I think the problem with this is WHO do you choose and why? I LOVE the ceremony, there is so much love and emotion there...and it creates a special bond/moment with the couple seeing this moment. Personally, I think that if you are going to invite more than one of your venues can handle, then you should find a bigger venue

There are a lot of people who want to see the ceremony, so I do think you will find a few people who will find this rude.

I would find it very rude. Unless you are having a very intimate wedding with just immediate family (parents, siblings, grandparents) and then inviting all other friends and relatives to the reception, I wouldn't do it - it makes people feel that they are less important than others. I'd wonder if they were just inviting me to the reception in hopes that I'd give them a gift, since I'm not important enough to actually witness the union.

My suggestion is either do a truly intimate ceremony and then invite everyone to the reception, or find a ceremony space that can accommodate your whole guest list.

I find it rude - but that's just my opinion. I feel like you should be invited to both or none.

It's like saying "You're not good enough to witness us get married, but you can come to the party afterwards and bring a gift!"

I'm sure that's not what your thinking, but people may perceive it that way.

I was told for my first marriage not everyone would show for the ceremony..not true..So i wouldnt believe anyone that tells you that..

We had a packed house for our ceremony..everyone was invited to both..

50 is too many people to call it a small ceremony. If it was 10 or maybe even 20, you could do this, but 50.... just sounds like you didn't want to take the time to find an appropriate venue.

One of our family friends actually did this. They had an intimate ceremony and then had a big reception. No one seemed to mind. The only annoying part was the ceremony ran late for some reason so people were just waiting outside the reception venue waiting for them to get there.

One of our family friends actually did this. They had an intimate ceremony and then had a big reception. No one seemed to mind. The only annoying part was the ceremony ran late for some reason so people were just waiting outside the reception venue waiting for them to get there.

We were going to do a private ceremony and bigger reception, but 99% of the people I know WANTED to come to the ceremony-so whatever. It's at the same location and it cost me nothing extra so I changed my plans early on. I do not think it is rude though.

I feel like.......... this is rude.

To me, if they are happening in the same day they are not separate events. Anyone invited to one should be invited to both, or not at all. Then again, you may have some people who would rather be invited to one than none. I guess I could kind of understand if you were having an immediate family only ceremony, and then a big party after for everyone. I still look at the day as one big event though.

I am attending a reception on Sunday. They are Pastor's and leaders in the church I attend (3000+) members. I have felt so bad for her during this process. Her entire wedding has been put on blast, the whole congregation knows everything. Not her doing by the way. The head pastor would bring her on stage and ask questions. She was really put on the spot. I think she said something to the Pastor because he hasn't brought it up in a while. They have decided to do an intimate beach wedding and dinner on Thursday. Then they are having the party/reception on Sunday night at the church. The room they are planning on hosting the reception in can hold about 200 people. I feel honored be part of that 200. I don't think it is rude. I feel like having the private ceremony can be compared to a first look. Those are precious intimate moments.

I think it's less rude then inviting to the ceremony and not the reception.

You should only do this if you are having a VERY small, private ceremony - literally immediate family only. Since that is NOT your situation, I would not recommend this. It creates a situation where some people are important enough to witness your ceremony and others aren't (like a tiered wedding) which can be very hurtful and some may feel offended that they were on the "less important" list and not included in the ceremony. Bad idea.

Is it a church? If so, I would send the invite to the reception only, and then explain in person that the church is significant to you/your family and unfortunately it is too small.

FH's cousin is getting married in a church that doesn't sit more than 50 people and she invited about 120 people. FH wants to show up waaaaay ahead so we can get a seat. Yikes.

Thanks for all your input! I have very mixed feelings about it...

Right now our guest list is 44 people so everyone would be able to come to both

I would consider it rude and this is why everyone who is invited to our ceremony is invited to the reception as well.

However, I have a lot of friends who had said they would love to come just to the reception if we cannot invite them to the ceremony. Its not happening because like I said, I find it inconsiderate, but I guess some people don't care.

I would personally keep looking for another ceremony site that would accommodate all of your guests or do an intimate wedding all together. My sister did do an intimate courthouse wedding and lunch for those that attended, then a casual BBQ celebration two weeks later that was more inclusive.

The only way I wouldn't find this rude is if your ceremony was literally your immediate families and maybe a BM and MOH. 50 people isn't considered "small," and it comes across as gift grabby to just invite the people to the reception. If I found out I wasn't one of 50 special people that got invited to your ceremony, I'd probably decline the reception.