rsvp Nuttiness, 5 days out

Sounds like everyone is wrong in this situation, your guests for changing their RSVP after the deadline and you for b-listing your friends. I suppose you could be honest and let them know they've been replaced.

You are absolutely NOT mandated to hold someone’s place who already said they weren’t available. Them taking time off of work is not your burden or responsibility. If it wasn’t a priority to them a month ago, why is it now? Nothing better came up?? No thanks.

“Thank you so much for wanting to share the day with us, but unfortunately we have already made all the accommodations for our guest list. We would love to have you over for dinner when we eat back from our honeymoon! Have a great weekend!”

View Quoted Comment B-listing isn’t “wrong”, especially if there is well enough notice and time to respond for the new guests.

View Quoted Comment Yup. THIS. Kind yet clear response.

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B-listing is "wrong" according to etiquette and most people with common manners.

View Quoted Comment It was some of my friends from school who I'd LIKE to have there, but these people were my family, and I could only host so many people.

View Quoted Comment Love this response, thank you!

View Quoted Comment Letting someone know they’re b-listed is wrong. If enough time is given that it’s not a headache for the guest(s), it’s just fine. Not everyone’s budget allows for everyone they want to be present, and there’s nothing wrong with sharing more joy throughout the coming months.

Kindly tell them you are sorry but you’ve already given your final headcount to the venue/caterer. They can’t change their RSVP at the last minute. As for B listing, I don’t think it’s “wrong” like others are saying. A friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in a while was having a smaller wedding a few years ago and reached out a few weeks before (probably once she started getting her “no”s from RSVPs) and said that some space opened up and would love it if I were able to go. She apologized that it was so last minute but I knew the situation and that they were tight on space and paying for everything themselves. It was really thoughtful of her to reach out and I was in no way offended. Now that I’m planning my own wedding I understand so much more. Don’t let anyone give you a hard time for that!

View Quoted Comment A response like this would work.

It's poor form to change your RSVP after you've already said no. They should have RSVP'd on time; no excuses.

I also totally get inviting others after you received a few no rsvps. I feel like that's normal to say, hey we can now invite so and so since we got a few no rsvps. There are some people who you're on the fence about, don't want to invite them over a family member, whatever the reason and due to budget you may not be able to invite every and anyone. Don't feel bad about that!

That is really frustrating! I'm sorry you're dealing with that. But I agree with PPs, you are not obligated to host these people. They declined their invitations. Tough luck.

So many RSVP issues I never thought were things until reading these forums! I can't imagine RSVPing no and then being like oh actually now we can go. So rude. I would agree with PP, sorry, you've already submitted final headcounts and can't accommodate more.

View Quoted Comment As long as they are ok with being b listed.

View Quoted Comment They didn't know they were b-listed. They recieved a formal invitation just like everyone else. I just waited to send out their invites until I had a few "no" RSVP's from my family.

View Quoted Comment They knew. A invite much closer to the wedding.

View Quoted Comment I sent out invitations 3 months ago. The "b-list" people recieved theirs a week after the original invites were sent out, still 3 months ago. But thank you for you input.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. I wouldn't get bent out of shape in the first place. Personally, I don't think weddings are THAT amazing lol. Now after planning my own wedding, I see how it is hard to invite the people you really want to be there. Everyone will get offended by something. 🤷‍♀️

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Right!?! You hit the nail on the head

Honestly I would tell them tough luck it’s too close at this point. There are deadlines for a reason!!

View Quoted Comment Ohhhh I completely agree with you! This would irk me sooooo much. But I would say just that. 😫