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Sydney
Expert May 2019

rsvp Nuttiness, 5 days out

Sydney, on April 28, 2019 at 11:30 AM

Posted in Community Conversations 45

Please tell me I'm not alone in this. I have had ELEVEN people RSVP this week suddenly saying they can now come, when they originally told me they couldn't. I've already filled their spots with my "b-list" friends who I really wanted to invite, but couldn't due to space. They knew the RSVP deadline...
Please tell me I'm not alone in this.

I have had ELEVEN people RSVP this week suddenly saying they can now come, when they originally told me they couldn't. I've already filled their spots with my "b-list" friends who I really wanted to invite, but couldn't due to space. They knew the RSVP deadline was over a month ago. Final headcounts have already been sent and I've already got the seating chart completed and printed on a sign.

The wedding is in FIVE DAYS and they want me to make it work so they can go ("just set up another table or two! I got the day off work already!") Why are people like this?

(FYI, we sent out save the dates 8 months ago, so they 100% had time to try and get that day off.)

45 Comments

  • Haley
    Dedicated April 2020
    Haley ·
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    I don't understand why everyone else is so caught up with the "B-list". The issue here is that you have prepared and budgeted for X number of people and that's that. Unfortunately you will have to just say no and hope that they will eventually realize that it is unfair for them to put you into this stressful situation.
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  • Alyssa
    Super September 2019
    Alyssa ·
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    First of all, I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with replacing their spots with people who can come. There is no right or wrong way to go about this according to "etiquette" and I feel as though some people on your post are just being slightly dramatic. The guests who expect you to change you seating charts, head count, etc. AFTER rsvping "no" are the ones with poor etiquette. I would not necessarily tell them there was a B list but just tell them that unfortunately you already gave the head count and it can not be changed. I feel like it has got to be common sense that you can't "take back" your RSVP 5 days out.

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  • MIWM
    VIP June 2019
    MIWM ·
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    AMEN!!!! You did nothing wrong in giving their spots away!!

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  • Soon2Bmrsp
    VIP May 2019
    Soon2Bmrsp ·
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    Sounds like they cant come. I gave myself 5days after the RSVP date for this stuff not 5days before and we will not be allowing people to show up day of either as we know that some may try. We are just not willing to pay for extra people

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  • S
    Expert October 2019
    Sara ·
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    I know this is an older post but my parents just told me about how at their wedding EIGHT people on my dads side RSVP’d no but showed up anyway LATE! They missed both ceremonies (dads catholic so they had a mass in the afternoon at church, and moms Jewish so they had a Jewish wedding at the reception site right before the reception began). My grandpa was in the middle of giving a speech when they came in and everyone else was already seated. The staff had to scramble to put together another table for all these people and somehow left some of the wedding party without chairs! And of course there’s the issue of having to pay for 8 more people who they thought wouldn’t be there.
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