Rsvp deadline too early?

Here's a normal answer from me who is having a DW (and not from people who constantly say everything is rude):

I had a 6 week RSVP date for my DW. My venue required 1 month notice for everything. I'd say at least half the people told us yes or no within 6 months though!

However, many people told us yes, and changed their mind closer to the date due to financial or scheduling reasons, so you can't 100% count on that.

BUT I did have some people tell me they weren't sure around the RSVP date and A LOT of people actually procrastinate buying flights and booking hotel.

I think a 6 week RSVP date would be good. But around 3 months before the wedding, assess the counts so far. If a bunch of people have already told you no, you will be able to invite more people then. I wouldn't invite anyone less than 3 months away though.

Don worry about all the crap from a supposed B list....do what you need to do for you and yours...as for the RSVP..we have a lot of people from OOT and we are giving a month leeway for RSVP's. The wedding is November RSVP deadline is October. Since you wish to invite others and they already know this then perhaps you could move the date back another 2 weeks, making the cutoff for RSVP's 6 weeks before hand. That way your awaiting guests would have 4-6 weeks to purchase airfare and make arrangements.

Isn't this the point of a save the date?

Why did I get flagged? I don't even remember my comment. Damnit!!

I'm sorry but I personally don't get why people are lashing out about B Lists. I would rather be on a B list with the potential of getting invited than not invited at all. It's not like your telling people they are B list!

@Kyra read previous comments. OP did tell people she B listed them.

Not telling them doesn't make it ok.

Way too early. Besides as someone else pointed out the best time to buy flights is more like 6 weeks out.

100% send Save the Dates sometime after the new year to your VIPs & OOT guests only. It'll help you get an idea of who can make it from OOT. FH has family who are in a diff country & probably aren't going to make it. We sent them Save the Dates anyway, and they've let us know they most likely cannot afford the flights/hotel/etc. We did not send the STDs to some of FH's work friends who we are still undecided on whether we want to invite. We'll be sending out our invites in March & the work friends receiving invitations may depend on whether his family can make it last minute. But this way there's no B list since all invites are going out at the same time with the same RSVP date of 1 month before the wedding (venue wants headcount 21 days before event).

***If we do end up inviting the work friends, we've still budgeted to accommodate every single person on our guest list RSVPing with an "accepts". ***

@FMG- Honestly I'd rather be told then get the slap in the face when I realize I was b-listed. At least that way I know in advance to decline the invite.

My FH has a large family, but between finance and venue we are limited in space that his whole family couldn't even come, let alone friends. I told him its up to him to decide who he invites. You don't HAVE to invite anyone, it's your wedding. We are going to blame it on the venue, which btw requires a final head count with names, for coast guard, 10 days prior to the wedding, still no where near the 3 month mark but I will be having an early rsvp date

Still rude.

"It's not like your telling people they are B list!"

1. OP literally is telling people they are on a B list.

2. If you got a wedding invitation a few weeks away from a wedding that was out of town, guess what? You're on the B list. People know.

My OOT family (all my family, I have 1 uncle here) is given the deadline until March 30.

I will then see about giving invites to coworkers etc.... this will be sent at the same time as all the town guest.

We already paid for 200 guest if they come or not, so the more the merrier. We lose $ with less than 175.

If i was paying per head, like most people, I wouldnt B list.

@2018 I can understand that.. I would rather be able to host more people that we would like to be there than not use the money. Fingers crossed it all works out. I believe we are going to invite more than our target number in hopes that it works out.

@Kristin in my case we already upgraded on the things we wanted so it would be money lost.

PP have this pretty well covered.

Set your RSVP date 2 weeks before your numbers are due.

Invite the people who are highest priority to you and if they can't make it, you just have less people to pay for. You don't b-list people because it's rude and insulting to say "I like you but not enough to make the first cut. If people that are more important to me can't make it then you can come to make up numbers".

We personally aren't doing a B-list and just over inviting in the hopes that is levels out to our target number.

I can sympathize with people who do have venues with a specific minimum and not per head count. They want to invite more than their budget allows, they can't, they invite people, some people can't come, so they want to invite the other people they wanted to from the beginning but budget didn't allow. I personally would understand that after planning a wedding myself and understanding costs.

Not able for upgrades.. We asked and they said you just lose it. The people on the B-list are coworkers and old coworkers. If we could afford and had the room, we would invite EVERYONE. We personally have the most fun at big wedding, personal preference.

Also, my family is flaky. Only 4 people showed up for my uncle's wedding here, travel is expensive.

My fiance may have been b-listed to his highschool friends wedding. But how could we confirm... am so happy we went, my 1st time meeting both of them and we have become great friends. I am just happy we made the cut..

I had my deadline "Christmas 2017" for a Feb wedding Not to B list but just because I thought I needed that much time to plan seating etc. No one has responded yet.....people will brush it aside. They were probably like "Christmas 2017 my ass"

I've been b listed before and I honestly didn't care. I totally was happy that I was able to go. It was someone who I worked with and got a long with really well. We didn't get close until she had already been planning her wedding and set a guest list. So naturally when space opened up she asked me if I'd like to go. I didn't feel insulted at all. I guess everyone is different but I had a lot of fun!

A majority of our guests are OOT but we're still only setting our RSVP date 4-5 weeks prior. Personally, I have had to wait right until the deadline to RSVP before because we only get our work schedules a month in advance! Although we can put in requests we aren't always guaranteed the time off unless it's approved, and weekends can be tough. It seems like people SHOULD know if they're planning to travel by 3 months ahead of time, but just because they want to go doesn't always mean they're able to commit at that point in time.