Rsvp deadline too early?

B Listing is RUDE! Also, making your guests commit to something 3 months ahead if time is ridiculous. Invite who you can properly host and leave it at that.

Okay calm down with the rude chatter. My fiance has a large family we have to invite first, so some friends we just can't invite until we know what they are doing, which we have already explained to them. So even for destination you don't require an earlier RSVP date because people have to commit to travel? Because I definitely buy my plane tickets more than three months out.

Oy. So much no here.

@rica thank you for the explanatory/suggestive answer instead of just saying it's rude. if I had the space/money I'd invite everyone, but I don't have that luxury. Therefore, i need to be creative and problem solve. Lift brides up don't put them down people!!

Haha. I've already said I alerted those friends who totally understand. So you can stop telling me to not do it.

No one is putting you down. You asked. Everyone answered as follows:

Yes it's too early

And B listing is rude.

You should have sent save the dates out for an DW which would give people plenty of time to buy their tickets. So now all your friends are aware they are being B listed and are blocking that date off just in case they make the last minute cut. That is rude any way you slice it or reason it.

ETA: have those b-listed people bought tickets? Because you're essentially doing to them what you said you wouldn't do to your main guest list. They won't know if they're invited until 2 months before. You said that wasn't enough time to buy tickets.

Who tells people that they're being B-Listed? hahaha

Good grief with WW this week.

Just because you should be letting them know early due to DW does not mean they have to let you know early unless the venue requires it for some reason. Do not B list - it is especially rude for DW because it gives them less time to figure out travel, prices will go up etc etc etc.

eta: If someone told me I was B listed I would say don't bother...this is not a know-your-crowd situation, it is rude and disrespectful

My venue asked for a final head count 3 days before the wedding so id say 3 moths is way too early.

LOLOLZ you told them they were B-listed. Not quite good enough for the first round, my friend.

Exactly! Which is why we are considering doing an early RSVP date. Man, it's really not that complicated. I thought people don't buy plane tickets three months out. Gah. I'm sorry I asked.

"Haha" you can alert them all you want, guaranteed they're calling you names behind your back. I SURE would be.

Perhaps you can send STD's to his family and your family so they can mark their calendars. Surely, one of you will speak to them before you send out your invitations to get a feel for who will and will not be coming. However, send out all of your invitations at one time. Otherwise, just know that someone will find out that they were second string aka b-listed. Sour grapes.

OP- who are you responding to because it doesn't correlate with anything anyone has said here.

@Melissa lolololololol I was wondering the same thing!!

Don't B list. Send your invites to OOT guests when you were initially planning with an rsvp date of 2 weeks prior to the catering deadline. Maybe you could verbally verify whether they're able to attend. Something like "So excited to see you at the wedding." That way you can get a tentative idea of attendance. If there's a lot of people who are hesitant about attending then you can invite people who might not be invited otherwise. I definitely understand not having a B list, but I think having a definitely invited and maybe invited list isn't an issue. Just make the the maybe invited people get invites at the same time as the in town guests. Just make sure you can afford the guests if you the ones you don't think will be able to come are able to find a way to come.

Kristin and future vc. Okay, I'm done with this. I've received some good feedback while sifting through the rude talk. I get it. You think I'm rude. Good thing you aren't invited. I think putting out feelers with his family and save the dates was a good starter @futuremrswhite. Byeeeee.

So hai, I know someone who did this and I heard about it from the people who were B listed. They weren't happy. They knew they were B listed and they were pissed.

Socalbride I personally like when I get invites earlier so that I can plan flights. I also understand the numbers thing. But then again my wedding and almost every wedding I go to doesn't follow WW rules of acceptability lol

ETA: I would never let anyone know they were B-listed. That could cause some really hurt feelings.

Do you really expect people you told were b listed to come to your wedding? LOL That's cute.