Removing someone from wedding party

Why are you taking guests phones away at the ceremony? Couldn't you just ask them not to use them?

If I came to your wedding and you asked for my phone, I'd turn around and leave, with my gift. You have zero right to take anyone's phone.

We're doing the UNPLUGGED wedding as well!! We're not personally taking there phones though, I think you may have a hard time getting everyones. We're just putting a sign out that says to politely turn them off during the ceremony and after our first dance.

Camri, you can't go unplugged at the reception. Ceremony, fine (even though some of us think even that is rude), but you can't control people during the reception. They get to use their electronics.

I would hire someone to do the ceremony. Cut something else from the budget if you need the extra money to pay for it. It will be beneficial in 2 ways. 1. It's an easy out with your friend. Tell them that you have thought about it and would prefer to hire a professional to do the ceremony so there is not so much pressure and stress for the friend. And ask them to do a reading during the ceremony instead. 2. It prevents this situation from happening with a second friend. A professional will not add to the drama. And you will not need to worry about them getting nervous or not knowing how to pace a ceremony.

I am also curious why you are collecting phones at the ceremony. What is the purpose of that? What of people don't want to hand over their phones? I would not hand my phone over to someone. It has a ton of important info and would be really expensive to replace if stolen or broken.

The person that performs your ceremony has to be legally permitted to perform weddings in your state. If they don't have such certification your wedding is not official. You are going to have to spend a little cash to have it legally done.

Reception is totally fine. It's just the ceremony we plan to have unplugged. I think it's a great idea to have people present and in the memt. Especially if bride and groom have paid professional to capture such moments. I'm not for taking their phones. I did say she would have a hard time doing that. I said we were asking our guests to turn there's off until after the ceremony Elizabeth

We're also asking them not to take photos until after the first dance. So no random photos get taken. They can use their phones. But I think it's quite rude to be in a device while at someone's wedding period. I would leave mine in the car and wouldn't take it in at all most likely. But to each their own. 😇

You would NOT get my phone. I understand having a unplugged ceremony but I won't give some random person my phone. Have someone make the announcement before the ceremony starts to please silence all phones and no pictures during the ceremony.

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Totally not the point of the question. lol
But to answer you... it's an unplugged wedding. We're giving people the option to leave their phones in their vehicles or to leave them in a basket to be picked up with a claim ticket.

Our wedding is at a monastery and it's very important to us that we're respectful of the venue as they are allowing us to use the space for free and we want to be sure that many couples after us get to enjoy the space.

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I'm aware of that. Anyone can become ordained via the internet.

View Quoted Comment Very well said and sound advice. I second the advice to reconsider all of this. A professional officiant is important and will be worth the peace of mind and put a stop to drama.

I can't think of a reason to collect phones. I would expect you will have a lot of unhappy guests. How will you give them back? Cost check tickets? Will there be a swarm around the basket after the ceremony? What if someone's phone goes missing or is damaged? The whole idea seems like a recipe for disaster.

Because I can't edit on the app... that is supposed to say "coat check."

View Quoted Comment Agreed. Plus I trust an experienced officiant to ensure the license gets filed correctly and such.

And with phones - what about folks that are on call? We are not regulating the reception but will have the officiant ask everyone to silence and put down their phones for the ceremony.

As the Op said, in some jurisdictions, almost anyone can become ordained for free online and become an officiant.
https://www.themonastery.org/training/weddings/performing-a-wedding-3-steps

I'm not saying I recommend it. It hasn't gone well for the OP so far.

I think collecting phones is going above and beyond. I would not give you my phone, nor would I leave it in the car. Everyone knows when they see a bunch of cars parked in any type of parking lot, that the owners will be gone a significant period of time. These cars are ripe for break-in.

I would respond positively to being asked to turn my phone off or simply silent mode for anyone who needs to be reachable in case of an emergency.

If you feel strongly that this individual should not be officiating your wedding you need to tell them with not hesitation. But, to demote them to a position such as phone holder, is not a good move. Also, having someone holding phones will not go well in my opinion. If you are strongly going to do this be prepared for resistance from your guest. I wish you the best.

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Hire an officiant. Spare the drama of hiring another friend. They get paid the money as they are the legal link to getting married. Being an officiant is hard - lots of things to juggle and to do.

Do not ask people to check their phones and out them in a basket. My phone cost just under a thousand (gift from fiance!) and to be blunt I would not let it out of my sight. You have a sign saying no phones/camera, I will put it away.

Please re-think your "no random photos" stance, as some of the best photos are the random, candid shots.

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It's at a local monastery where hardly anyone ever goes - not even on weekends. There will not be anyone around but us as I have booked the garden area for the entire day. I will be able to see everyone's car from where I will be standing. There's ZERO chance of a car being broken into.

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So you are going to watch the parking lot while you are getting married? Hey I think I found a job for your "fired" friend!!!

You need to hire a professional. Using a friend for literally the most important part of your day is a bad idea. This is why you're in this situation to begin with.
As far as collecting phones(?!?), this is completely inappropriate. Your guests aren't children misbehaving in class. You don't get to take adults' property. If I were your guest and you tried to take my phone, I would leave and sever my relationship with you.