Relatives Upset Over Black Tie

I think you can suggest all you want what the dress code is, but I think it's totally inappropriate to turn your wedding guests a way because they are not wearing what you would like them too.

@NovemberBride- I am also offended that "God" has a dress code that you must wear in a church, totally hypocritcal.

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@Brianna - your wedding sounds completely Black Tie appropriate. I would just put the dress code on the invitation and wedding website and maybe stop mentioning it by word of mouth unless people specifically ask you.

I love black tie weddings! I don't love "black tie preferred" or "black tie optional" because I think they are weird confusing grey areas.

Brides, I understand you're excited to be getting married but please STOP discussing every detail of your wedding with people!!! Especially if you don't want their opinion.

@Celia - once again for the win. Totally offended by the "no rags in God's house" because cares far more about you than your clothes.

@NowaSeptMrs - there is a HUGE difference between going out and buying an expensive gown you most likely won't wear again to be a prop at a wedding and wearing your work clothes everyday. That is so apples to oranges it isn't funny.

Just because people "have the money", doesn't mean they want to spend it on something they might just use one time.

I think it's pretty hilarious that in the same forum we have 'what does black tie really mean" and "I'm having a cash bar" and 'can I serve Popeye's at my wedding".

Clearly weirdly.

I think if black tie is not something your VIPs/friends/family are used to, then you can't really expect black tie dress. If my friends had a black tie wedding, it'd be weird. Most here are cocktail level attire.

Anyway, let it go. You are allowed to let people know when a wedding is black tie, and if they ignore it, they ignore it. End of story. Not worth your time worrying about it.

Thanks Sunni for your wise input.

@Jeleebeenz, if guests don't want to go, they don't have to. They are free to send their regrets! Just like a DW, you can send your regrets if you can't afford the trip. But many people go to those and it's much more costly than renting a suit/tux.... If it was a friend/close family member I would try to make it work and would be grateful to have 18 months to plan for the dress code. If it wasn't someone close, I would probably decline.

You shouldn't assume that my church is a Christian church. There is a dress code for us.

Stop talking to people about the dress code so far in advance. As long as you are not enforcing it to the point where your kicking people out for being underdressed no one should care. You know your crowd.

@Stephanie - really good point to know your crowd!

I didn't assume- i asked what you would consider rags.

I didn't either, though I did mention Jesus. A church with a dress code had their priorities in the wrong place. Which is why so many people don't go to church any more.

@mn - nice cat meme!

Thanks! I have an unhealthy obsession with my tuxie

November Bride... "rags in God's house"... :::CRINGE:::

@November Bride I have no skin in this game, I'm not religious in any way shape or form, but I wanted to clarify a definition for you as you seem offended by a few people assuming that your church "is a Christian church." "Church" is a building mostly used for Christian services, by definition (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/church). So, its a fair assumption for other posters to make that it's a Christian church that you are referencing. If you get bent out of shape for someone assuming the correct definition of a word, then I guess that's on you.

I feel that there are a lot of "black tie event" gowns that would definitely NOT fit your church's dress code...I mean I know you didn't actually declare it black tie, but asking people to get super dressed up does not necessarily mean they will be modest.