Rehearsal dinner plus 1

Your WP should ALL get a plus one.

Ditch the fancy dinner, which IS stressful, and upstages the wedding. The last thing you're going to want the night before is ANOTHER fancy dinner.

I agree celia!!!!!

Wow. That's pretty rude...of you.

Give her a plus one. As well as everyone else in your BP. That's just very basic wedding etiquette.

I wouldn't have done it. Only known about him for a couple weeks? No invite for him at all.

I don't understand how some people think bridesmaids are just meant to show up to the wedding in their dresses. They're supposed to help the bride during one of the most stressful times of her life, not make it worse. They should go to the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and rehearsal dinner unless they have extenuating circumstances. They should not be demanding an invite for a SO they're not even officially with only 2 weeks before the wedding. It's even worse that she's threatening to not attend the rehearsal dinner if this guy can't go to. I say let her not come then. Don't give this guy an invite just so she'll come. A true friend/bridesmaid would come regardless.

OP - Don't let it get to you. If your FMIL said it's ok, then it's ok. Not worth getting frustrated over.

Amber - Remember that the position of bridesmaid is an HONOR. The bride is HONORING the friends with the position. Allowing them a date at a social event is common courtesy.

@Amber, you tell 'em!!!! Those bridesmaids should know what they're agreeing to. I'm sitting down with all my gals tomorrow to go over bridal contracts. I don't want any half-assery on my day!!!! These documents are iron-clad!!!!!

Jay, don't forget your list of rules and prices of things they MUST buy. And the calendar with every single fucking wedding planning date on it!

How I envision Rachel....

Agree with Rachel 100%. T-Rex, I agree bridesmaids should be given a plus one, but when the date is so close, they no longer should have that offer. When it is less than 1 month to the wedding, they should no longer ask to have a date. Not only will it cost the bride extra money, but they also may have to redo their seating chart. Asking for a date only 2 weeks before the wedding is entirely too close!

I personally see nothing wrong with a fancy rehearsal dinner. The way I look at it is it's another thank you for taking the time to support us during the wedding. But I also agree that anyone of adult age should get a plus one.

@Amber if you feel planning a wedding is one of the most stressful things in life you are in for a harsh reality check

@annakay511, thank-you for pointing that out.

@Rachel that's actually not he definition/duties of bridesmaids. They weren't originally a "thing" so they could be the bride's bitch squad through the planning process. They were originally a "thing" because they all dressed just like the bride on the wedding day in an effort to confuse evil spirits that they believed came along to sabotage the day and the marriage. Then a blizzard came along and it was almost unanimously decided that bridesmaids suddenly needed to be at the bride's every beck and call.

#TheMoreYouKnow

Also, @Rachel, OP didn't have to take on this cousin as a bridesmaid. "No" is a complete sentence that she should have used, but didn't; and in case you missed it, OP said that her grandmother regrets doing that to her. The grandmother was not mentioned to be contributing financially for the rehearsal dinner, just OP's FMIL.

If you're going to recap the thread to shame us, at least do it right.

@rachel and @amber I totally agree with you both! Makes me sad to see so many people caring more about this rude BM than about the bride.

The bridal party should get a plus 1 to the rehearsal dinner. Even if they are not married. And you can't make her come to the dinner. Or be mad that she didn't come to the bridal party or Bachelorette party. Maybe she couldn't afford it. And what else did you ask her to help with? She should not be expected to do anything except buy the dress you chose and be there on the wedding day.

So you begrudgingly asked her to be a BMs and expected her to be overly excited to help you? Im pretty sure she picked up of the vibe that you didnt want her as a BM.

Wait, so you guys are saying that people should actually care about the bridesmaids and treat them like *gasp* human beings?!?!? That's almost more than the double-ringers little ol' hearts can bear *insert dramatic faint*

@annakay511, I may have worded that wrong. It's a huge life event, which is easy to get caught up in. During this day in age many women are busy focusing on their career, buying a house, and/or raising a family. While the wedding planning itself may not be too bad, there may be a lot of other events going on, adding more pressure. This isn't the old days when women just had to take care of the home. Sure, it's not as bad as many other life occurrences, but it's still a major one. Some also have more pressure from their families during this time.

And to go against what everyone else is saying, if a bride wants an intimate wedding, the BMs and GMs don't need plus ones unless they're married, engaged, living together, or have been dating for a long time. Not everyone can afford or wants to have a large wedding. The WP won't even be able to spend much time with their dates so the dates may feel uncomfortable being left alone. This also applies to the wedding rehearsal.