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Savvy January 2017

Rehearsal dinner plus 1

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Private User, on December 30, 2016 at 6:11 AM

One of my bridesmaides asked if she could bring her "kind of boyfriend" to the rehearsal dinner. I told her that none of the WP is bringing their sig.o unless they're married, and that it was because of money purposes. She told me she just wont attend the very fancy dinner. She lives 5 minutes from the dinner location, and her excuse is "she doesn't want him to have to deal with her parents" even though that's what he'll be doing at the wedding... She is a family member, and has missed my bridal shower and Bachelorette party, and been pretty bad with doing what I've asked her to do. Should I be as upset and hurt as I am? Should I make her come? Can I tell her how upset I am? What do I do!?

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66 Comments

Champion November 2054
Jacks · on January 1, 2017 at 5:28 PM
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@Rachel, what are you saying? I can't even. You're a bride, not the queen of England. Even in these here Oldey Tymes.
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Devoted July 2019
Justina · on January 1, 2017 at 5:47 PM
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OP I'm sorry you got put in this position by you gma. I hope she shows up and at least you have resolved the current issue. Hopefully you don't have anymore from her
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Master October 2019
Jaimee · on January 1, 2017 at 5:50 PM
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And to bring the focus back to the OP, after rereading this thread again, it seems OP's cousin doesn't want to deal with her parents at the rehearsal dinner.

True, they'll be at the same venue for the wedding, but a rehearsal dinner is smaller in guest size; there's no where to "hide" or associate themselves with someone else on another side of the room.

Did something happen between the cousin and their parents, OP? A fight of some sort?
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Master July 2017
Erin Wood · on January 1, 2017 at 5:53 PM
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Everyone coming to my RD will be given a plus one. Will one extra person make a huge difference?
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Savvy January 2017
Private User · on January 1, 2017 at 8:19 PM
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@jay
Her parents are so sweet and very social. Her dad is a bit goofy, but is a very friendly guy and wouldn't try to be anything but nice to the guy. Same with her mom. I guess she doesn't want her parents being embarrassing?? As I mentioned earlier, they give her everything she asks for.

@Bobbi
I think it's just frustrating to have people I don't want there, there. She's not the only bridesmaid I had to take against my will. It would all be great, except since my dad died and I'm having my grandfather walk me down the Isle, I have an extra head there by having to have my grandmother as well. I have to have the flower girl and ring bearer and her family which is an extra 5. Just extra people here and there for various reasons. It's totaled up to 35, and it's just more than I ever wanted. As I mentioned earlier it's all handled and such now, but I guess my whole initial post was out of frustration that I had to have people I didn't want in my WP, and that they're being a little bit annoying instead of helpful at the last minute while I'm trying to put this whole thing together.

@grosera
See image. Again, I just wanted her to try on her dress, and maybe respond to text messages or show up to something related to the wedding. That's really all. I'm a pretty easygoing person, I just hate that my family member is letting me down.
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Savvy January 2017
Private User · on January 1, 2017 at 8:21 PM
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Ergh I can't post a photo on my phone for some reason.
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