Reception self-pay non-traditional

Please don't use the excuse of this being the second wedding for both of you. This is a horrible excuse to be rude to your guests. You're having a destination wedding and not even offering dinner afterward???? Yes, like others have said, just elope and leave the unsuspecting guests out of it.

You seriously expect people to pay to travel to your event but are unwilling to buy them dinner? This so so so shitty. Just elope by yourselves.

You have a little over 4 months to start saving for dinner. Start today.

This is awful. No, you will sound like a jerk. Did you already send out Save the Dates, encourage people to book flights?

If you invite people to go out with you, even to just a restaurant, after the ceremony then it is a reception and you should pay. There is no way to invite someone out after the ceremony and ask them to pay without sounding like a jerk.

Not trying to come across as catty, but I genuinely don't understand. If you are just having a ceremony, why would you ask guests to fly or drive a (presumably) long distance to spend approximately 30 minutes with you? Is there more to this plan?

You must receive your guests if they attend your ceremony. If you do not want to, or are unable to, have a private ceremony.

"This is an invitation to only the ceremony because we love you enough to ask you to buy a plane ticket and hotel room to attend our marriage but not enough to pay for you to eat dinner after it. Please don't be offended, we fed everyone at our first weddings so there is no need to do that again. Looking forward to your presence and presents!"

I'm sorry but I agree with PPs - just elope and get rid of the guest list. No one should have to travel any sort of significant distance to a wedding and not even get BBQ or something.

Either elope or pay for your guests. There is no in between. You can't tell them to pay for their travel to your wedding (airfare, hotel, transportation, and daily food) then tell them they have to pay for their thank you dinner and drinks. Don't do this to your loved ones. I promise you won't live it down.

This is horribly rude and cheap.

If you have to ask the "polite way" to state something, it's probably because that something is NOT polite. Such is the case here. If you do this (you shouldn't!), you better make damn sure people know they are traveling only for a ceremony and will need to pay for their own dinner. I would be beyond livid and insulted to attend a wedding like this as a guest.

Can you just serve cake and not mention any meal and the two of you go for your own meal? I mean, really.... feeding 30 people can't be THAT expensive.

I wouldn't want to be invited to any fucking thing like this. No thanks!! Ive paid all this damn money for flights and hotels, to not even be worth a dinner. Hell no!!

Wow. I totally missed that this was a destination wedding. No no no no.

NO.

You cannot ask guests to travel and not feed them dinner. That is so insanely rude. Either elope and not invite guests, or pay for the dinner. Wow. I'm still shocked at the rudeness.

I can't, even, for a minute believe this is true. If so, this just trumped all cash registries, honey funds and cash bars.

Pretty much everyone pays for their own wedding. Lots of people (including myself and my DH) have been married before, and a bunch of people are non-traditional in more then one way. However, there is no way I would invite people to a wedding and not invite them and pay for them to be at our reception. If they are good enough to have at the wedding you should offer a proper thank you with a proper reception. That doesn't mean it has to be over the top...but it has to be a properly hosted celebration (food, alcohol, music, etc.). If you can't afford that only invite those you can afford.

Agreeing with PPs. If you have to ask for a polite way to phrase something....it's probably because it's a rude thing to say to begin with.

This is a gift grab at its finest.

Smh

Thank to those that considered that there might be other issues at hand, and didn't just assume I am a rude person. I appreciate the thoughtful responses and will look into what is available. The destination is only a few hours drive, so I doubt most of the guests will even bother to book a hotel, in fact, I expect some to drive home following the ceremony. I didn't want people to feel obligated to pay for a hotel stay because they now also feel obligated to attend a reception. There are many other factors, and honestly if you are participating in a forum, you should consider appropriate responses that aren't just rude, hateful assumptions. Thanks.