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Lynn
Expert September 2017

Reception on different day than wedding?

Lynn, on June 5, 2016 at 10:57 PM Posted in Planning 1 47

We are contemplating having our wedding one day with intimate dinner afterwards, and have a large reception/party after we come back from our honeymoon. Anyone else done anything like this? Thoughts?

47 Comments

Latest activity by Jana, on July 6, 2020 at 5:48 PM
  • WolfWedding2016
    Master May 2016
    WolfWedding2016 ·
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    Are you just planning on having you two there for the wedding? It would be rude to have people come witness your wedding, send them home without any food or drinks so you can have an "intimate" (i.e. I'm assuming just you two?) dinner, and then go travel and come back and then have a party for them.

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  • Lynn
    Expert September 2017
    Lynn ·
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    No, probably immediate family and close friends at the wedding and dinner. Likely no more than 10 to 15 and likely 75 at the reception

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  • F
    Savvy November 2016
    Faith ·
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    I'm doing that too!!!

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  • Lynn
    Expert September 2017
    Lynn ·
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    Faith, can you give me more details. I'm looking for ideas

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  • EmilyJ
    VIP May 2016
    EmilyJ ·
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    Can I ask the reason?

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  • Lynn
    Expert September 2017
    Lynn ·
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    We are having the reception at our house . We have 1.25 acres and we live on the river. The prior owner told us they rented the house out for weddings. If we have the wedding and reception in the same day, we'll be too stressed to enjoy the day..

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  • Darcie
    Super August 2016
    Darcie ·
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    I think it's ok if you only invite immediate family to the wedding and have a dinner after with those guests. Then have a reception later.

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  • arh5249
    Expert May 2017
    arh5249 ·
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    If I was guest being invited to a reception for a ceremony I never saw I would be very confused. What's the reason for wanting this?

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  • caitiemac
    Expert March 2017
    caitiemac ·
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    I feel like this would be incredibly confusing as a guest. Will the same people be invited to both or are some guests only invited to one or the other? Why not try to hire a wedding planner or DOC to relieve the day of stresses?

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  • Elizabeth
    Master December 2016
    Elizabeth ·
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    No, this is a bad idea. First of all, you MUST treat your wedding guests (those who witness your ceremony) to a dinner. Second, what you're proposing a few weeks later isn't a reception. By definition, a reception is held after the wedding. What you're having is a party. You need to call it that.

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  • Erin381
    Master September 2016
    Erin381 ·
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    I might be in a different boat - but I see this no different than eloping and than having a reception. I think it is fine. I don't know why is would very stressful to do it all in one day but it seems fine

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  • SomethingOrange
    Expert September 2017
    SomethingOrange ·
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    FMIL just did the separate day thing for her wedding Friday/Saturday.

    From a guest perspective, it's really best to do it all in one day. People have to take off work, make travel/lodging arrangements...it's a lot.

    I get a whole day-long wedding can seem to be stressful, but I personally disagree with inviting some to the ceremony, and the rest to the reception.

    But if you MUST separate the days, like someone previously said, PLEASE feed people after your first day. And again during the reception. Don't hold it over their heads like FMIL did that there will be food for the next day/event.

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  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
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    If you have the wedding and reception on the same day, you'll be too stressed? Huh?

    I'm sorry...I don't get it. You're getting married, having a small dinner reception, going on a honeymoon, and then, after returning, you're asking everyone who wasn't invited to the wedding to attend a second reception? I know what I'd assume...

    I've attend reception only events, but that was because one half of the couple lived many states away The bride's family paid for the reception in her home state, and the groom's parents paid for a reception in his home state. I preferred that to spending a lot of money on travel, gas, hotels, meals, etc.

    Of course, you're free to do whatever you want, but as someone receiving an invitation to your post-honeymoon reception, I'd probably be calling other prospective guests to find out if they understood what was going on.

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  • Chip
    Master March 2018
    Chip ·
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    Point of a reception is to thank your guests for coming to the ceremony..

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  • H
    Dedicated March 2018
    Heather ·
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    I think it depends on your family dynamic and your situation. Is everyone going to be invited to both the ceremony and reception? Do all the guests live close to you so travel arrangements wouldn't be a problem? If stress is your only concern, as long as it's well-planned and you don't expect every single thing to go perfectly, you should be fine doing it on the same day. Tons of people do it all the time.

    Personally, I'm doing my ceremony and reception a few months apart because we are doing a destination wedding and know that not everyone will be able to come. We still want to celebrate with our friends and family though (and they have voiced that they want the same), so we are having our reception at a lake property in MN in June and displaying pictures of the ceremony.

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  • Spiff
    VIP August 2017
    Spiff ·
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    I'm doing a small reception a few weeks after my wedding date.. but that's because we're doing a destination wedding where not everyone can attend. Why would you do it twice at your house? Too stressful? I'm confused by this...

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  • PaleoPrincess
    Expert July 2016
    PaleoPrincess ·
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    So if I'm reading this correctly, you ARE treating the guests who watch the ceremony to dinner afterwards - it will just be a very small group of people at the wedding and then dinner "reception". Then you are having a large "celebrate the marriage" party later on?

    I think that's totally fine. I know a few people who have had large at home receptions after destination weddings, and I don't really see how this is different from that. I would be happy to attend a celebration like that. I feel like I would give less as a gift though, so keep that in mind Smiley smile

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  • Botty
    Super July 2016
    Botty ·
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    FH and I live in a different country from my parents so my parents want to host a small party a few months after the wedding, but we would never call it a reception, it's a party. Sounds like yours is a party too. Like other said, a reception is to thank guests for coming to the ceremony. A party is to celebrate the fact that you got married. Go for it but don't call it a reception, guests will be confused.

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  • therightLane
    Master October 2017
    therightLane ·
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    I would be a bit confused if I were a guest. Also, IMO it seems a lot less stressful to have everything on the same day. Why do you think planning out the logistics of multiple events on different days will be easier than all at once?

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  • Kari
    Master October 2016
    Kari ·
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    I'm confused about the prior owner's info on how they rented out the house for weddings has any bearing on your own wedding and reception or how that would make you more stressed.

    A lot of people have pointed out that backyard weddings are stressful as they turn out to be more expensive than they anticipated, you have to rent tables, chairs, plates, and restrooms, etc. Have you thought about looking into a venue instead? One with a DOC would be really helpful--the DOC would take care of the little details and timeline so you wouldn't have to be stressed.

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