Reception on different day than wedding?

I'll try to give more information and clarify. First this isn't either of our first marriages and we are older, not that that has any bearing just gives a better picture. I mentioned our house being rented our for weddings so that you realize the setting and that it's perfect for that. We would have many out of state guests coming. We would feed people after the wedding itself but it would be small and likely only local people. We just did a party two weeks ago (cookout) and had 35 guests. We did it all ourselves and there was much stress and work. So imagine adding the cleaning and set up of your house and yard to the normal stress of your wedding day. And, unless anyone wonders, we are paying for it ourselves. Yes, we would call it a celebration of our marriage but it would be much like a reception with DJ, cake etc and we already have wording planned for the invitation....something to the affect of "your presence is our present". So we don't want/expect gifts. Still feel it has to be done in one day?

I don't think people are reading your response. If I understood your having a small wedding and the guests invited to your small wedding are also invited to your dinner right?

I was in a wedding where they did something similar to this and it was obnoxious. She did the wedding on Friday and reception on Saturday. I was in the wedding which meant I had to dedicate 3 days (Thursday rehearsal) to her wedding. There were probably 25 people at the wedding and 100 at the reception. There were lots of people who were hurt/ confused as to why they weren't important enough to witness the marriage. Not to mention the people who traveled more than 5 hours and were only invited to the reception. I would advise against doing it.

So you plan on self-catering the reception, OP?

And majority of brides on this site pay for their own weddings so that has no bearings here either.

I wouldn't show up if I found out I was only invited to the reception. Personal opinion. I wouldn't feel the need to go since the ceremony already happened and I wasn't good enough to make the cut.

Maybe if you didn't self cater you wouldn't have to worry about being stressed and doing everything in one day. The majority of couples have their ceremony and reception the same day. Even those who self-cater (ughh).

Ahhh....now I get it. I just could't understand why it would be too much stress for you to have your ceremony and the large reception you've planned on the same day.

You're halfway there. You realize that it would be far too stressful to handle the food prep and service yourselves. Now, go all the way and hire a caterer and have your reception right after the wedding ceremony.

Ok...this is what we did/are doing. We had a small courthouse wedding and went out to a nice dinner with the 14 that came to the ceremony on the day of.

This weekend we are having the family celebration for a total of 40.

Can I tell you though that I have lost all my excitement for this party? The wedding is done...I keep feeling like, what is the point? I didn't expect that to be the case. Just some additional perspective for you.

Thanks for all the feedback. No we wouldn't self cater how my FH went to school for cooking so the thought entered our minds. The wedding will be in a church, not at the house. And I've read lots of posts about how you don't save money have a backyard reception so more food for thought. Thanks for all the advice. Certainly lots to think about.

I was going to do that, but I want my hair and make up nice and not to have to get a separate dress or wear the same dress so we are doing it the same day

I'd suggest doing it on the same day. If the ceremony is at the church then I don't see the issue. You go to the church, have the ceremony, and then have everyone meet at your house for the reception. Unless the church is very far from your house, then I just don't see the problem

I think that works. So you're eloping and have a reception.

Personally I find no fault in what you're doing. My cousin had a destination wedding and then a big "reception" party afterwards when they returned home. I myself am having a very small wedding, and only inviting immediate family . My FO and I plan to have a big blow out "happily ever after party" a few months after the ceremony for all of our extended family and friends and so far, everyone who've I talked to about this thinks it's the best idea.

Do what you want to do and what you're comfortable with. Personally I think people who are "offended" because they weren't invited to the ceremony and refuse to listen or acknowledge your feelings about your wedding day are not people who you should keep in your life.

I've been to a wedding like that. The first day was the ceremony and the second day was a casual picnic back at the church. It was different, but not bad !

So we are doing something similar. Really it comes down to money. We don't have 5,000 or 15,000 dollars so we are getting married at the courthouse on a Friday. Only our parents are going to be there to witness. The following day we are having a big party to celebrate our marriage with our families. They all know that we will be getting married the day before at the courthouse, so I don't think anyone will be hurt or surprised by that. Our party to celebrate is going to be a step up from a summer bbq. It's not going to be a super fancy wedding reception, because that's not what it is, but it will be a nicely decorated party with great food and music. I think the fact that you are having it after a honeymoon means it should definitely be considered a party and not a reception. Send out wedding announcements the day you get married that announce your new marriage and put that you are inviting them to a party to celebrate that new marriage. This can work, but you just need to make sure you handle it correctly. I believe our invites say.. Katelyn and Zach will be married in a private ceremony on 9/10 - please join us for a party to celebrate our new marriage on 9/10..

Katelyn, love it! Thanks.

For completely irrational reasons, while I would fly across the country and spend thousands to witness friends or family, I wouldn't do it just for the party. Just something to keep in mind, in case some of your guests feel the same way.

We are doing that but we're getting married on a cruise and having a reception when we come back

My FH is from out of state, so the wedding here will be big, but we will also be having a reception/celebration after the fact in his state for all who couldn't make the 15 hour trip to our big day.

I really don't feel it's a big deal to have 2 separate events. It's a time to celebrate with everyone that couldn't be a part of the big day. It's your day, your choice... Make it your own!

Best of luck to you!