RANT: What would you pay these people?

I haven't really planned yet as far as extras..but i'd look up in your area the going rate, it def can get pricey..but depending on how old these people are they are probably not professionals in the true sense of the word so shouldn't get exactly the going rate..I think you needed to have a candid conversation with them about the going rates. yes they are friends but are providing a service. Sounds like you are viewing it as a friend favor, and they are viewing it as a pro gig. Hopefully you guys can get on the same page. Good luck!

That's BS. I sang at 3 weddings and not a single one compensated me because I am family and I was HAPPY to do it.

@Ab Z....yes I think that is what has happend. They are looking at it as a GIG and I am looking at it as a friend favor. Both do it as a "profession" so that is why we were giving them something. But see we actually ASKED the soloist what he charges and he never really answered us so we figured he'll just take what we give him as a "token of thanks". We didn't need to choose either of them had we known they were going to treat it like a gig. We have too many non-professional good singers, piano players at my church who would have did it "just because".

I'm with Pumpkin. I've sung at probably 25 weddings- and never once been paid! (I have recieved cards/gifts though). These people have been close friends, and the 'sacrifice' is well worth it to me.

Frankly, if the boyfriend expects to be paid that much- I'd hire a professional. They'd be less...

Honestly give him the $100 and he does not like it replace it with someone from your church that will do it for free.

Ohh that's odd that you asked and he didn't respond. geez!

I totally understand how you feel. When I first started planning my wedding, I asked a friend if she would officiate. I offered her 100 to do it but she insisted I pay her nothing and she would do it for a friend. Then she mentioned her hubby is a DJ and he said he would DJ for free but I offered him 200 anyway. MOH runs into her hubby at his job and he goes on this rant about how I am crazy for only offering 200 because he can get 300 for DJing a bar. My response "fine, DJ a bar that night". He also said he wasn't gonna let my friend Officiate for that "small price" either. No you are not being cheap and yes they are being greedy.

Money can cause so many hard feelings. It seems you tried to find out what was acceptable from your soloist, but to no avail. Friends and family have sung at numerous other friends/family weddings for no monetary compensation - but then, they didn't do this as a "profession". What is the normal charge the soloist and boyfriend-pianist charge? Maybe you'll have to reconsider your options and find someone cheaper to fit your budget. There was going to be no DJ at my niece's wedding until a High School friend offered to do it for $30 - yes THIRTY DOLLARS! Of course, he was paid more, and he did a terrific job. (Had all equipment and is just starting out on a weekend career working grad parties, etc, lol) There may be more options out for you, even at this short time span. Good luck!

Thats insane. My friend is going to sing at mine (and shes a recording artist) for free - I am paying her and buying her a gift as a gesture but when I first "hired" her I asked her how much shed like and she freaked saying it was a honor in her eyes that I would even ask her. Sounds like they may be trying to get more compensation then what is worth out of it. I'd stick with your $100. I think thats a LOVELY gesture especially since they are only playing one song - not the whole service continually. Argh. That would frustrate me. Best of luck!

Were they clear that they were doing this as a favor to a friend, or a gift to the bride and groom? If you're paying for his hotel AND you pay them AND they are guests at your wedding (making a presumption on that last one), then fine, pay them, but then etiquette says they should get you a gift, too, I think. If they are not otherwise guests at your wedding, I guess they should get paid if there was no understanding that they were doing this as a favor or gift.

But seriously, the bf - "sacrificing"? Sacrificing what? He's getting a free hotel room. I would consider that part of his pay.

I'm paying 250 for a professional pianist to play ALL of the music at my wedding so that sounds completely out of line. I think your offer of 100 is more than generous.

Honestly, if these are people who would be coming to your wedding anyway, you are not putting them out for them to sing a little song and play a little piano. I doubt they will be practicing for hours or anything. Probably are songs they already know.

SMH.

Check out www.CostOfWeddings.com to see what vendors in your area would charge.

Wow! $100 is plenty, I wouldn't give anymore. Or I'd just find someone else to do it. Honestly, her boyfriend should do it for FREE as a wedding gift or part of a wedding gift. People are so greedy.

Thanks guys. Yes I feel better now. I knew I wasn't crazy. LOL.

We're paying $20 an hour (2 hr minimum) each for the pianist, the soloist, and the sound technicians at our church. These are people who attend our church but are not close friends. Daughter's boyfriend should be doing it for free. Don't start a bad habit by letting them get more than they should.

If these people do this kind of stuff as their profession, I can understand how they might not have thought they were being asked 'as a friend'. This is what they do to make a living. If you have family or friends who are plumbers, lawyers, mechanics, or any other kind of professional, would you expect them to give you services free of charge, or for some unknown cut rate? Clear the air with them ASAP to avoid any further bad feelings. Just find out what they had in mind, explain what you were thinking, and come to some kind of agreement - either they do it or don't do it, under the terms you all understand.

Speaking as a vendor who has been asked to provide free services to friends and family...as much as I would love to do that, I would actually be giving up a date where I could be taking paid work instead. I'd rather just attend my loved one's wedding as a guest than be expected to work it for nothing.

I actaully was singing at weddngs professionally when I was asked to sing for friends/family. I was going to be at the wedding anyway- so why not? It never took me more than an hour of prep time and getting there early the day of for a quick rehearsal.

I never saw it as a day I wouldn't be able to make money at another event- because my friends wedding was more important than that anyway.

I think there are some careers that should be paid. A photogrpher friend- cough up some cash. A DJ friend- at least give him half his fee, if not more. But singing one song or playing a small piano part- $100 is more than sufficient.

I'm not paying them anything. I've sang at weddings and I don't expect to be compensated for it! I was happy to be included and I got a flower. So yeah, you're being generous just by offering money and they're being greedy.

Actually Lisa, my FH works in heating/air and he does stuff for his friends all the time. Depending on how time consuming it is, it will be free, cheap or a trading of labor.

It's one thing to ask someone to step far out of the role of guest, like a photog, DJ, Caterer. But to ask someone to perform during the wedding ceremony they are already going to is a different story. You don't have to pay the readers.