RANT!!! Little sister wants to get married before me.

Wow i would be pissed too can you just ask her whats the rush i mean is she trying to win an imaginary race or is ther. Some specific reason she wants that date

I would be pissed off too honestly... since you have been supporting her, you must be somewhat close. Maybe you can just sit down and have a heart to heart with her and tell her how you're feeling. Also let her know that you won't be able to put all the effort into her wedding because you will be working on yours and in the end that is more important to you.

How is she even paying for a wedding? If she is just going to go to the courthouse then maybe let it go but if she wants a big wedding that is gonna be stressful, especially with a slightly unsupportive family, I would try to just talk to her...

Yeah i didnt think about what chloe said maybe she thinks the family will help pay make it clear they wont and i bet since they've only been together for a short time something might come up where they will call it off

She just wants to get married to get out of the house. She is a typical hormonal 18 year old. I know that I am 20 (21 on the wedding date) and still pretty young to be getting married, but I have known my FH for almost 6 years and we will be getting married on our 3 year dating anniversary. She has known hers 2 years and been together for 1 year as of September. I honestly don't know what her problem is. I feel like she is jealous and wants to try and sabotage my wedding in any way possible because I have 100% of the family's support and she has maybe 20%.

You own your day. Not the month, months before, or even year. Yes you are absolutely allowed to be mad, because her relationship/engagement is on the fast train, and personally I absolutely believe 18 is too young (I got married at 19, I would know lol). Be upset, but dont let it ruin your relationship with her. Talk to her, express why you want to ask them to change their date (not need to change it, she doesnt NEED to do anything for you, ask but do not tell her she HAS to). If you've been supportive I'd assume that means you havent been too judgemental about her relationship, but perhaps now is the time to nicely, gently express concern. What is she in a rush for? Plenty of people say if you're really with the right person, why wait. But in her case, she needs to become an adult first (no job?). If you want to leave all that out fine. SOunds like she's doing whatever she wants anyway, regardless of others opinions.

Oh I'd have strangled her right then and there. but that being said, calm down, then talk to her.

She expects to pay for it with her FH's money and with his minimum wage job and his family's money (Which they have agreed to help with). She also thinks the family should give her money like they are for me but they refuse to do so because they are unhappy with her choice. She refuses to go to a court house. I am sure I will eventually calm down a bit and talk to her one on one, but she has that typical 18 year old attitude and throws temper tantrums whenever it's not her way.

Nafina, you are right. She does not NEED to change the day. I was so irate I wasn't thinking about terminology so much. And yes, by supporting her I mean being there for her and telling her that she is an adult now and can make her own decisions and being there for her when I can. Whether I support her decision or not. I don't want to ruin the relationship, which is why I just walked away without saying a word. I am so irate because she has consistently been finding ways to bring me down about my wedding.

I would be furious. Actually, I'm pretty mad for you! In my experience though, unfortunately, you can't make anyone do anything. I agree with the other brides who have pointed out that she can't afford this and it likely won't end up happening, especially since family isn't going to support this emotionally or financially. Try to stay calm and, at minimum, be civil. You don't want to ruin your relationship over it. You still have time so give it a few days while everyone cools down, and then talk to her about it.

If she acts that way, then your best bet might be to not say anything at all. She might throw a tantrum about the date then. If your family isnt budging in helping her out, the closer she gets to the date, she'll learn just how costy even the smallest wedding is. And unless her FH doesnt care at all about his money, eventually he'll get tired having to pay for everything. IF she actually does get married, it'll be a very hard lesson, but sometimes that's what it takes to grow up.

Let it be...Its not worth the aggravation. Just don't get roped into letting her borrow your stuff. or shifting your plans to accommodate her wedding.

I understand you are mad, heck I would be too if she was doing it like this. Getting married after a year of dating is not out of the ordinary and two years of knowing each other. The average is something like 2-3 years of dating and engagement. Then there are times like mine, where I knew DH since I fifteen. We got married 23 months after we started going exclusive. I was 19 when we eloped. I did it to have someone to lean on and to get out of my living situation. I wish I had done it differently, but that is what this wedding renewal is all about. I hope your sister realizes what she is doing before she makes a mistake or before she ruins relationships with people she cares about.

Eh let her plan to her heart's desire...they won't be able to pull anything off with no money and if they do it will be a bust because everyone will compare it to yours. don't shout or pout, just smile sweetly and nod a lot

Wow I'd be really mad! My older sister just got married this past summer and I'm waiting two years to make sure they don't overlap too much (and for a couple other reasons too). Maybe what you can do is try to convince her that having the wedding at a later date could be beneficial. First, if she has it around the same time as yours then most likely your family or OOT guests won't really be able to attend both weddings and if she has hers maybe the following summer or even like in September then they might get better attendance. Also by waiting she'll be able to save money (you can explain to her some of the costs) so that she can have her dream wedding. Maybe after some time of waiting your family will also be willing to support. If she has the wedding after you, then you can also help her more with planning and give a lot of advice after going through it yourself. Make it seem like she'd be winning in the deal by waiting. Sorry you're going through this!

I would be upset too…she sounds like she's having an 18 year old temper tantrum! My FSIL is most likely getting engaged over the holidays. We have been in discussion about event times since neither of us wants to step on each others toes. She will most likely end up getting married before me, next june or August, which I am excited for since they are wanting to wait to live together until its official and that's the best time since they are both starting grad school in the fall.

I would sit down and have a talk with her, try to let her know how you feel. I wouldn't have my hopes too high though…she sounds like she's in a classic teenage bubble. Life's ups and downs will quickly bring her back to reality.

I have been planning my wedding since March and have had 3 family members run to the JOP and get married. Hearing all the wedding talk and I assume wanting to beat me to the alter. None of them were even engaged, they just decided lets get married. In the end I know they are going to be sorry and wish they had an actual wedding. Since she didn't do this maybe if you talk to her she will listen. If not hopefully when she sees how expensive it is she will wait another year to have a nicer one and maybe your family will help her if she waits. Good luck keep us updated.

This is going to be a hard lesson for her to learn. Divorce sucks, and while it's impossible to know for sure, their relationship is a recipe for disaster. They may surprise everyone though.

I was in a similar situation in 2005. Dated the guy for awhile (years). Engaged for a year, planning the wedding for May. My younger (although I really don't get the birth order aspect) sister got engaged in August to a guy she dated for 5 months, married in January (5 months before my wedding). I slapped a smile on my face and kept my mouth shut,

There are so many red flags here, but the order that sisters marry is ridiculous. That's so old school it's absurd. The bigger issue is that she's 18, and consciously trying to beat you to the altar. It's unlikely it will end well.

My own sister is still married. I got divorced after 5 years. Focus on your own relationship/marriage and let the rest go.

Maybe if you don't make an issue out if it, she'll actually come to her senses.

Oh cheese nuts.

Honestly what I would do, I'd let her have her wedding date, I'd just make sure yours is wayyy wayyyyyy better and funner !

I know it shouldn't be a competition but it doesn't hurt to be like "ha! I told you to wait!" and dance off!

Oh cheese nuts.

Honestly what I would do, I'd let her have her wedding date, I'd just make sure yours is wayyy wayyyyyy better and funner !

I know it shouldn't be a competition but it doesn't hurt to be like "ha! I told you to wait!" and dance off!

Yes I would be mad, but just let it be. I hate to say it but I think there is a 99% her wedding will not happen. She sounds caught up in the excitement, but when she realizes all of the $$$$ and effort needed to plan a wedding it will come crashing down. Don't let her ruin YOUR fun time planning and being excited. And if I'm wrong and it does happen just be as supportive as you can. You will have to keep us updated on this pans out!