Question- should I expect gifts?

That's weird, so of the 35 people that gave a card, does that include couples? So like 35 cards but really 35 couples making it 70 people?

If they didn't give you anything at the wedding, unless things show as being purchased off your registry, I wouldn't count on many more after your wedding. That is really sad, definitely sounds rude. Especially if people were saying it was one of the most fun weddings it's clear you treated your guests properly (or at least I'm assuming). I'm sorry that happened, people just don't understand that it is proper to send a gift no matter how big or small you can afford. I know you should never expect gifts but it is still rude and against etiquette for someone to not send a gift of some type.

Yeah, definitely rude of them, but don't hold your breath waiting for more presents. Sometimes people are clueless.

I wouldn't really expect any. I have had to mail a wedding gift though, I was rushing and I forgot it. I felt so bad that I threw so cash in the card. So it's still possible.

Lots of brides say that they were told that their weddings were the best a guest had ever been to. That's nice, but by the time the guest is at the wedding, the issue of a gift has already been settled. In other words, you don't get a better gift because the guest shed a few tears or told you that you wedding was amazing.

That being said, a guest has a year in which to send you a gift. Did your guests travel to attend your wedding? If they did, they may need a few weeks to replenish their bank accounts. At that point, they may send a gift -- or they may not.

It's a sticky situation. I believe every wedding guest should bring a gift for the couple, whether it is $35 dollars (I know -- that's a low amount, but one never knows the financial struggles of a wedding guest) or a $30 gift from TJ Maxx or Home Goods (a pot, a pan, or a set of drinking glasses). If they gave you neither, it's probably because they can't. Yes. it sucks, but it's life in the USA, circa 2015.

Some people traveled, and oddly they were the ones to give gifts. A lot of friends lived locally and everyone camped out so as to not have hotels.

I mean honestly, a card is all I want really. Just some sort of acknowledgement of "thanks for a good time" but oh well I'll move on. I may ask my mother though if there's some anti-Shannon thing going on.

And I'm not saying I need a "better gift" but a card would be nice.

At least a card would be nice! I remeber a few yrs ago for my bday my dad gave me a gift but no card i was upset i didnt get a card

If you got 35 cards that's 70 couples so roughly half. You will probably continue to get a few more gifts in the next 3 weeks through the mail. I don't get why people do that but they do.

Shannon, after reading your follow up post, I have to admit, I'm a little confused. The majority of guests not giving you a gift were local? That seems strange, and yes, I'd be wondering about it as well. I don't think they were angry at you (why would they accept your wedding invitation if they were angry at you?). Give it a little time. Gifts from some of these individuals may come in the near future.

You say that you would have been happy with just a pretty wedding card (assuming it included a handwritten, heartfelt sentiment from the guest). I believe you when you say you would have appreciated that kind of card, and I don't think you would have disrespected such a card -- whether it was empty or whether it included a cash gift of whatever the guest could afford -- maybe $25. I have a pet theory on this one -- no card, no gift. If they don't leave a card, those guests might (erroneously) believe that you won't actually remember them as you're writing out your thank you cards (or even worse, if asked, they'll pretend their cards and cash were stolen - awful, but several no-gifters at my daughter's wedding pretended that's what happened to their gifts). Best advice? Let it go. They attended your wedding because it was important for them to see you being a beautiful bride getting married. If they couldn't give you a gift, they were aware of that and probably felt guilty about it. However, like I've said many times, a decorative item from Home Goods or TJ Maxx (even if it cost them $30 or less), wrapped nicely and with a card attached with a personal sentiment, means a lot to a couple. That's what they should have done -- even if the gift was not on your registry.

You shouldn't expect them, you shouldn't be mad, and you definitely shouldn't be keeping this close an accounting of it.

Let it go.

I think it's rude not everyone gave you a gift, I'm sorry, it is. I wouldn't go to a wedding empty handed. If I couldn't afford even a gift from Marshalls I would not go to the wedding and eat & drink. My sister had about 100 people at hers, and it seemed like only about half gave her a gift (mostly their own friends in their 20s were the ones that didn't give - and drank the most. We bought the booze, so it's wasn't really an all inclusive thing either, it costs us a lot). I know you shouldn't expect a gift, but I thought it was common practice & kindness.

You shouldn't expect it, but I do find it a bit weird that they didn't even give a card. Depending on where you're located, etc., is it a possibility that theft could be a factor?

There is a well known venue in my area and apparently a couple who was married there about two years ago were victims of theft. Waitstaff actually took more than half of their cards! They only realized after people were questioning why checks hadn't been cashed. Luckily the staff who stole the cards were caught on a camera outside of the venue and eventually prosecuted.

Did you have a registry? If not, maybe that's why.

Truly they have a year technically to give you a gift. The fact that it's so soon after your wedding and already worrying about it, you have to move on. Even a card, them spending the day and enjoying it with you is amazing.

The old rule was that gifts should not be brought to the reception, but should be mailed to the couple's home. The theory was that they might be leaving directly for their honeymoon, and not have any way of dealing with gifts right then. It's possible some people are following that rule.

But it's also true that it is very rare that people who don't give a gift will give a card. Either they don't think of it, or they think the card will call attention to the fact they haven't given a gift.