PSA: PLEASE don't have your marriage performed by a friend ordained online!

My FH and I were so excited to have our friend (who is a JOP) join us on our destination wedding to perform our ceremony. He swears he is ordained in all 50 states, but now I am concerned because he only performs services locally... so how can we really be sure?? Not that I don't trust his word, but he may not even know himself

Thank you so much for the information. Before choosing a questionable online ordination, why not investigate whether or not your state has a temporary officiant provision. In the state of Vermont, a person who is a resident of Vermont can become a temporary officiant for a particular wedding. The owner of our inn is doing it for us.

http://www.sec.state.vt.us/municipal/officiant.htm

@Ceara D.: You're right, someone who says he is "ordained in all 50 states" may not himself be familiar with the laws of a state in which he does not normally perform ceremonies. Since I see that your wedding will be in Florida, you may want to contact a notary public there about handling the paperwork. (Florida has an unusual provision that allows any notary public to officiate a wedding.) Your friend could still conduct a ceremony for you, but you wouldn't have to worry about his qualification as an officiant.

@Carole B.: I agree. Massachusetts has a similar provision. Virginia allows this, but the officiant must be a resident of Virginia. Pennsylvania has the option for a self-uniting ceremony (no officiant required), so you could use that for the legalities and then have whoever you wanted conduct whatever ceremony you like. Texas has a provision to register a common-law marriage with the state. Any of these alternatives would be safer than relying on someone with an online ordination.

I am one of the most laid-back people you'll ever know on what you "need" to have for a wedding. I have no issue with those people who decided they don't need a professional hair and make-up person, photographer, DJ, etc. The results may or may not be to my taste, but at the end of the day, you'll still be married. What you don't want to do is to accidentally jeopardize the "being married" part.

No one can know that they are 'legal in 50 states" unless they have researched it; NJ doesn't have JOP's at all.

Michigan has no JPs anymore either. I question why the friend is a JOP and ordained. JPs are in very limited states now, as are notary public. I think only three states allow notary public to wed couples.

Authority to solemnize marriage and other rites of the church

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_Life_Church

Hundreds of thousands of weddings legally performed.

GREAT advice....... to check with your state.

BAD advice...... in such a broad based statement.

PLEASE don't have your marriage performed by someone ordained online

The question is, with whom in your state would you check? In many states, there has not yet been a court case which has determined the validity of a marriage performed by someone ordained online. And identical statutory language has been interpreted differently in different states. (See, e.g., New York, where the same state statutory language is interpreted differently in New York City and other areas of New York.) Relying on the word of whoever answers the phone at the marriage license bureau--or on Wikipedia--is not going to protect you.

If you are able to locate a statute or case that says online ordinations are recognized in your state, then a ULC minister is a safe choice. However, few people who want to get a friend online are going to pay a lawyer to research state law for them. In the absence of knowing of a specific statute or case in your state, using someone ordained online is risky.

(cont.)

The average wedding in the US costs $24,066. Is it really worth risking the validity of the entire marriage over a few hundred dollars?

2d Bride, early on you stated:

"I'm not an officiant. While I am an attorney, this is not an area in which I would give legal advice."

So I really have to wonder why you would post such broad, sweeping statements calling into question the "legality" of marriages in a public forum and 'loudly' proclaiming to all don't have ANY online ordained officiant conduct your marriage ceremony. ummm, isn't that giving legal advice? as well as the emotional equivelant of shouting fire in a crowded theater?

YES, couples should ask questions of their prospective officiants and expect precise answers that can clear up any confusion or concerns they may have regarding each individuals credentials and authority to solemnize marriages.

YES, couples should contact their local city and county officials as well as review their state statutes regarding the authority to solemnize marriage (usually found under the Family Code section) if in doubt and/or to be informed consumers...continued

As to court cases, I would direct you and others to

Universal Life Church v. State of Utah, January 17th, 2002

Case Summary:

In 2001, Utah’s legislature passed a bill stopping people ordained online or by mail from officiating marriages; this case challenged the constitutionality of that bill. After reaching a US District Court, a precedent setting memorandum was issued affirming the right of Universal Life Church ministers to perform marriages.

PLEASE refrain from giving very bad legal advice in a highly emotionally charged forum where people can so easily be misinformed by other well meaning people.

Michigan couples can rest assured that I have checked the state laws QUITE thoroughly along with my colleagues and link those statutes, giving easy to understand answers to many questions.

http://www.withthisringwed.com/MI-Marriage-Law.html

Celebrant Stacy and Rev. Carleen Burns: I have modified my subject line to reflect what I had intended. I am not really concerned about professional celebrants/officiants, because their ability to perform valid marriages is something that they should have looked into. My concern is with the couple that decides that Cousin Henry should get ordained online to perform their wedding. I have never seen a couple in that situation who has taken the time to do legal research on the validity of such marriages in their jurisdiction.

I do appreciate that difference. I can give far more reasons, too, beyond the legality of it! LOL It is far too important a piece (and the only absolute necessary pro needed, I might add). Please put as much consideration into the ceremony as you do the party (and an infinite more into the marriage). Blessing to you and your wife 2nd Bride.

I agree with Rev. Burns in all respects, including and especially that you and your spouse be blessed! Thank you 2d Bride for clarifying your post.

You know what? Even if Uncle Phil is legally able to do your wedding, it doesn't mean that he should. Officiating at someone's wedding is more than just cutting and pasting thing from the internet and standing in front of a group of people spewing that forth. It's commanding a room (or a field) organizing the bridal party, working with musicians, photographers and venue directors so that everything runs like clockwork.

I think that it's really sad that so many couples think the ceremony is just a formality. It can express a couple's personality just as brilliantly as any cool decor, any stylish invitation or any novel favor. Done well, it's a gift to the guests. Done poorly for the sake of the budget (step in, Uncle Phil), it's just as boring and uninspiring as the guests fear.

I stand corrected on MI laws. I did not check and it has changed! ( I have family in MI). The laws do vary state from state and even county to county within the same state, officiants should check with the county clerk first. Even people like me that got ordained on line - being a wedding officiant is not the main intent of most ministers ordained on line. As a matter fact that is frowned upon anymore.( To get ordained just to officiate weddings or just for the novelty) We like to see people involved in other aspects of ministry, however most states require ordination to solemnize marriages and for the ordination to be legal, the ordaining authority has to have a brick an mortar church. ( in most states) One state (I don't recall which one) even said- and if your church allows you to solemnize marriages. If you start a church it is just a matter of time before someone in your small congregation will want you to be the one to officiate their wedding.

Ceremony: A marriage may be solemnized by a judge of a court of record, a public official whose powers include solemnization of marriages, or in accordance with any mode of solemnization recognized by any religious denomination or Indian nation or tribe. As of August 1993, a couple themselves can solemnize their own marriage.

I love being in Colorado!! We are doing the last part.

@Janae C.: Self-solemnization (in those states that permit it, Pennyslvania and Colorado) is one of the alternatives I suggest to those couples that really want to have a friend perform their marriage. Another alternative in some states (e.g., Massachusetts and Virginia) is a state-approved "officiant for a day" program.

My daughter is getting married in Oregon, which has neither alternative. She and her FI are going to have a courthouse wedding before their formal ceremony, just to make sure there is no doubt about the legalities.

My cousin did that in Cali. I am just glad that Colorado has this law. It is so stupid how much people charge to marry us. We are on a Major budget and it just seems like a scam. $700 to marry us? You have got to be kidding me. I am already getting charged over $3 per chair just so people can sit. The laws really should be different. And people shouldn't prey on people by charging so much for something they have to have in certain states.