proper traditional wedding roles - question

I've never heard of that and I've lived in the South almost my whole life lol. If he doesn't want his dad as his BM I wouldn't pressure him about it....it's one of the few things he has control over LOL

I've only seen that once at a wedding and it's b/c the groom and his father were actually really, really close. As in, best friends.

There is no "rule" about who to choose for your WP. My brother was my MOH - man of honor. Our goddaughter was our RB - usually that's a boy.

The parents of the couple are automatically honored on the wedding day IMO. No need to put them in the WP unless you really genuinely feel like they belong there.

It's not really a rule, but yes it's very common in many Southern states. Most of my friends from the South had their dad as the best man.

It's really up to your FH who he wants to chose, I wouldn't say anything else to him about it. Unless his dad is expecting to be asked I doubt it will be an issue.

ETA: an extended cousin ran into this issue. Where he is from it's the norm so his dad was expecting to be asked. His now wife thought it was "weird" and insisted he ask someone his own age. Let's say it causes MAJOR hurt.

If he doesn't want his father as the best man, let him not have his father as the best man. I've only had one friend do that, all the other weddings I've been to, the BM has been the groom's best friend or brother. Let your FH handle his side of the party, he needs to be comfortable with whoever is standing up with him that day.

Never heard of that one....My MOH "Man of Honor" is my brother. lol

FHs usually choose their brother or their best friends

I have never seen this but I am from Michigan so maybe we don't do that up here. I wouldn't pressure him though there maybe something underlying there and he doesn't feel that close with his father.

It's a old Southern tradition for the FOG to be the best man, but I've never seen it done anywhere outside the rural/suburban Deep South.

I've never heard of that either, I wouldn't try to force him to have his dad in the role. Traditionally the maid of honor us the brides sister but I thought my best friend deserved the role more so I asked her, I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

There is no such "rule". Besides, as pp said, most grooms don't have much of a say with regard to the wedding. Let him choose his BM. My husband had his best friend as his BM.

I've never seen that or heard of that before. Ever wedding I've been to, including ours the Best Man is the guy who your FH is closest to, has known the longest, etc. Sometimes this is a brother, cousin or just his best friend.

If he doesn't want his dad, then don't pressure him into it. His dad will be busy with the day as is; plus who's going to walk him mom down the aisle?

I dont want to sound rude by saying this but~would you allow him to pick your bridal party? Let him have who he wants. What would you say if he wanted your mom to be your MOH?

Im from the south too, my family actually comes from much deeper in the south than I was raised and I've never heard of having the dad be the best man. I could see it if they were super close.

Yeah, I guess... my mother is very into what is traditional. My parents even mailed me a book called "The New Book of Wedding Etiquette" ... for all I know, she might just be counting how many ways we go wrong, LOL!!! After quite a dispute with my mom... we are NOT getting married at my home church- or even my home state!

I guess when they let me come to school up here, they figured i'd freeze and move back by the end of the first year!

I think he should get to pick who he wants to stand by his side, traditional or not.

Is your FH's family from the deep South or of that same viewpoint?

I think it's easier to blow off your mom's opinions on the subject, but if your FH's dad is expecting to be asked, then I would consider it. Pretty much what Carrie said.

Oh, and I forgot to mention I have 1 brother and 0 sisters and FH has 2 sisters and 0 brothers... so we figured it would make sense for both of his sisters to be bridesmaids and for my brother to be a groomsman. ... Does that make sense? I've heard that its normally the other way around, like if i had a sister then she would be a bridesmaid and if he had a brother then he would be a groomsman, if that makes sense.

Okay, thanks

Um, no... he is from up here.. NY... but both families are rather conservative and Christian

When it comes to siblings I think it depends on the family norms.

My family is pretty easygoing - I asked my brother to be MOH b/c he's basically just really awesome and I wanted him at my elbow when I was up at the altar. He wouldn't have expected anything.

My ILs on the other hand, did have expectations. So while H is very close with his sister, I asked her to be on my side, b/c no way would she have been comfortable doing something untraditional. She would have taken it as an insult instead of a compliment - like, I didn't want her on my side, instead of, H really wanted her on his side.

Just know your audience when it comes to each others' siblings. And if you're not close with the sisters and there are no expectations, I would not include them. People seem to get in trouble when they have WP members they aren't close to.

You guys both get to pick whomever you want to be in your bridal party! Screw tradition and etiquette.

Pick the people you want to stand up with you. The ones who have been there, and you feel like you can call when you need them. That's the only rule