Pro BAM, Advice, and Under $15k Wedding Budget

Advice:

1. Please try to hire experienced vendors who are well-reviewed. My venue, DOC, and photographer were “new” to weddings which made me think “cha-ching! Savings!.” Instead, we were left with a ruined wedding day. I’ll start with the venue. Our venue was a non-profit that just started opening their converted Tudor-style home for weddings. Being that they “just started” renting out for weddings, they told us we would receive a discount. Unfortunately, when I toured and met with the DOC it was the winter and I was unaware how inefficient their cooling system was. The day of the wedding our venue INDOORS was between 85-90 degrees, with the air conditioning on. The venue, in order to bring in more business, was renovating their driveway. When we met with them in January they told us it would be finished by May. We got a call in the beginning of July stating the parking lot was not even close to being finished. I felt humiliated having to call my entire guest list to tell them they had to use street parking on parking in nearby business who had an agreement with my venue. They also made mention they were going to create an exclusive bridal suite that would be prepared for our wedding day. Instead, the bridal suite was completely open air and was merely tacked onto the bathrooms, therefore all of our guests were in and out through our stuff every time they went to the bathroom. Additionally, the kitchen space was in the basement and completely un-air conditioned. I felt horrible for our catering staff because they were 100% drenched in sweat by the end of the evening. I know my venue just started hosting weddings but they marketed themselves as a efficient facility that just hadn’t opened themselves to wedding revenue yet. Little did I know, there facility is not equipped at all for weddings.

2. The DOC we originally met with was an amazingly sweet woman that reminded me of my own mother. She was open, understanding, and very accommodating. Unfortunately, in July, she told us she scheduled a vacation for our wedding day so she hired “another” DOC to handle our day. Little did we know she basically filled in the janitor to be our DOC. He was the worst part about our wedding day. I received texts, voicemails, calls, and emails about his behavior after the wedding. Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to wake up the day after your wedding to guests AND vendors contacting you about a supposed professional? To start with he was supposed to meet us the day prior to clean and arrange the space. We showed up to the venue (we had a key) and he hadn’t cleaned or arranged anything. The bathrooms smelled like urine and had trash still in the trashcan. We waited a half hour, called, emailed, and ultimately gave up after half an hour. We spent the day before the wedding scrubbing up stranger’s urine, emptying trash, breaking down tables, arranging chairs, and arranging all of the things we had asked for him to be there to arrange (all of our centerpieces, the tile escort cards, all of the signs, the pom-poms on each chair for the recessional send-off, etc.). Fortunately, my lovely catering coordinator called while we were doing this and I broke down on the phone with him. His restaurant was not far from our venue so he left work and came to help us clean and set up. We were so grateful for his help because he missed dinner with his family to help us. We were able to scrounge together some semblance of an evening by getting Wawa and going back to my mom’s place and watching fun Lifetime movies before bed. I woke up the following morning to an email from our DOC stating he was at the venue. My husband got coffee with me before we parted ways and I went to the venue and he went to meet his guys. When I arrived at the venue he was giving tours to other brides, vendors, and random strangers. People were literally touching my succulents, flowers, and décor. We had been told the venue would be secured prior to our wedding and we had our wedding bands in the open air bridal suite which made me sick to my stomach. During all of the tours before we arrived anyone could have stolen our rings. I asked him to stop providing tours because all of our stuff was out and it was our wedding day. He told me, per our POS contract, they were allowed to give tours up to one hour before our wedding, which I was so mad I had missed. I grabbed my rings and left the venue for the hotel to get ready. I was fuming and already very upset. Later, during the room flip he freaked out on my guests who weren’t leaving the ceremony space “fast enough” for his liking. I understand asking nicely but my aunt literally has him on tape calling her a bitch. My twin sister was also meandering and trying to get him to properly set up the centerpieces and my aunt has him on video saying “Someone needs to punch you in your smart mouth.” I, later, found out he had been indulging in the alcohol because our bartender thought he was a guest. By dinner time he was trashed and was getting in the way of the bartenders and catering staff and yelling “I run this place!” Luckily, my catering coordinator was able to get him some food, coffee, and water and had him quarantined to the basement. Our catering coordinator actually pulled one of our bartenders (we had two working and a third that was acting as a bar back so we were down to one working and one acting like a bar back) to babysit him and keep him from going upstairs. Unfortunately, he came out of the basement to go smoke outside. He ended up going outside to smoke and make personal calls while my family was outside talking and drinking. My family and friends managed to get snapchat videos of him saying my guests were “a bunch of fucking idiots” and he wanted to “clock a bitch.” He did not do any coordination work. I had to personally keep the staff informed of our late-night snack which ended up not being plated as I had requested. I also had to personally give all of our announcements throughout the night, instead of him. By the time our evening ended he was too trashed to do any real work. My mother gave him a broom and told him to sweep which took him two hours. My groom and I had to go get changed and clean and break down our venue ourselves, including taking out all of the trash. He was still slurring his speech by the end of the night and tried to take some of our leftover food. A week after the wedding I compiled all of the written complaints from guests, family, and our vendors and brought them to the venue. They told me they have never had a problem with him and just “couldn’t believe it.” They refused a refund so needless to say we are speaking with a lawyer. I can honestly say he ruined our wedding. My husband and I went back to our hotel around 3AM and we ended up spending most of the night talking about how disappointed and angry we were with him.

3. I guess a positive for having an inexperienced photographer on a disaster wedding day was that our disaster was not as well documented as one would hope. My photographer and second shooter came out for our “getting ready” pictures. We did fun stuff like pretending we were doing hair and makeup, all of the girls on the big fluffy bed, all of us posing in our robes, my dress hanging up, my veiling hanging up, all of our rings, getting me dressed, the girls getting dress, the bridesmaids rings, the bridal bouquet, the boutonnieres, the corsages and me putting on my garter. However, she told me after the wedding none of them were use-able because of lighting or blurry-ness. Despite this, we were still charged for the extra hour. This was frustrating. The “first look” was also really disappointing. She got to the area where we were doing it early. My groom showed up next and she had him all set up. During this time, she didn’t test the light or prep in any way. When we showed up she was playing a game on her phone and her second shooter didn’t even have her camera out. My mom asked multiple times if it she was ready. She told us everything was good and my husband turned around. We embraced and kissed and she started yelling at us the she wasn’t ready yet and was still “testing the light.” I don’t have any genuine pictures of our real first look and that’s so disappointing. She had us fake another “first look” and the looks on our faces aren’t genuine and it’s disappointing. During our first look and portraits it started to rain because the weather hated us. We couldn’t get everything which was really upsetting. We met back at the venue and realized we were melting. She got some very random pictures during the ceremony however she missed key pictures of his face when I was walking down the aisle, the picture of my mom lowering my veil, exchanging our rings, and the crystal from our unity ceremony. She also only got pictures from behind during our recessional which I thought made no sense. I told her ahead of time we were doing the pom-poms for a recessional and we have no pictures from the front. Furthermore, she missed my dad and I’s dance because she was playing on her phone (a guest had to nudge her and the second shooter and tell her that a VERY IMPORTANT moment was happening). I have no pictures of my dad and I dancing. I’m disappointed because her prices were significantly lower than any other photographer. My husband and I thought we were soooooo clever because we found her. We spoke with her multiple times before the wedding AND did an engagement shoot with her. We knew she was inexperienced and we knew she hasn’t done many wedding so I’m disappointed she was so unprepared. Please know when you hire someone for soooo much lower than other vendors; it’s for a reason.

Pros from the Wedding:

1. ONLO Beauty: The hair and makeup artists we had were absolutely amazing. Prior to our wedding I stalked their Instagram so frequently! The artists we had were so focused on us relaxing. We loved them and felt like they were friends when we were all done. I can say I was the most relaxed all day when I was getting hair and makeup done. I was also really surprised that, without a trial, my hair stylist was able to do such an intricate hair style for me. I will never stop recommending my HMUA!

2. Your Party Planner/YPP/Jason LeBoon: Our caterer, staff, and catering coordinator were the all-stars of our wedding. The food was so unbelievable. We had multiple people come up to us and say they were obsessed with our food. They also asked what restaurant our caterer was associated with because they needed the food again. If multiple people say that, I think it’s pretty damn good! We also had a bunch of extras due to our massive amount of no-shows. It is currently in our freezer and reheats so well! (Yay us!) They also did their best to prevent an all over meltdown with the DOC.

3. DJ Dance Daddy: My first impression of our DJ was from a YouTube video I saw of him emceeing and DJing a wedding. He made me laugh out loud and he seemed fun. He kept the party going and was a blast the entire time.

Budget (including tips)

Venue Event Insurance and DOC: $850

Cake $300

Catering and Rentals: $5700

Late night snacks, displays, and to go bags (mixed donut holes and philadelphia soft pretzels): $240

Photography: $650

Wedding gown and alterations: $875

Best man’s suit (my groom wanted to gift it to him): $100

Groom’s suit, new shirt, and tie: $145

Shoes (both of us): $150

Florist: $580 (bridal bouquet (we supplied the king protea because she alleged she was unable to source them), bridesmaid rings [we provided the gold rings she included roses, pheasant feathers (naturally shed during molting NOT plucked), air plants, Spanish moss, and lace], groom’s boutonniere (blushing bride protea and Spanish moss), Groomsmen and dad boutonnieres (white rose and Spanish moss), corsages for mothers ( white roses and filler flower)

Succulent Source Corsages for 2 Friends (led the unity ceremony) and centerpieces: $160

BP Gifts: $250

DJ and Officiant (husband and wife duo): $1200

Invites/Save the dates/Programs/Menus/Thank You's- $100

Hair/Make Up/Nails: $250

Guestbook: $12

Escort Marble Tile and Gold Pen: $70

Send off pom-poms and containers: $100

Aisle runner: $20

Veil: $30

Hairpiece: $80

Favors: $30

China, Sterling Silver, and Crystal for Décor: $100

Easels for signs: $80

“Table Numbers” (Custom notebooks to leave us notes for each anniversary): $25

Supplies for Unity Ceremony and Display: $30

Ceiling Décor: $100

Homemade Wedding Dreamcatcher: $120

Marriage License: $50

Hotel: $280

Candles, Vases, Candlesticks, and Votive Holders: $55

Wedding Bands (including silicone bands for working out): $115 [I was gifted a wedding band from my husband’s family. My husband's late grandmother knew he was proposing so she put some money aside for she and I to go shopping for a wedding band when I came to Argentina (I was supposed to go last December). Unfortunately, she died shortly before my husband proposed AND I found out I couldn't go to Argentina because of my clinicals. My MIL decided to keep it all a secret and had a wedding band custom made as a gift from his late grandmother and them. I cried my eyes out when they flew up before the wedding. I still cry because I miss his grandmother (even though she would KICK my ass in escoba!]

Mini-moon: $1,100 (we had to cancel our honeymoon due to immigration changes and paperwork due to the new administration it absolutely annihilated all of our honeymoon budget)

Total for everything: $13,947

Cost without the rings and honeymoon: $12,732

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Fake first look

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I literally cried reading your experience. I am so so sorry.

Rings

Us and our BP

Our sign for above the sweetheart table

Processional

Processional

Best man and maid of honor

MrsBdeG I'm so sorry you had this experience, I think you're doing the right thing in contacting a lawyer if they refuse to refund anything. Especially if you have that much evidence of the mishaps

EDIT: your hair and bridesmaids dresses are beautiful!

My Grammy as my flower girl. She was so happy and my grandpop wanted to escort her because he was afraid she'd fall. Love them so much

Wow, I am so sorry you had to go through all if that. The silver lining to all of this is that you married your best friend. <3

Oh my gosh OP.. I am so sorry that that happened to you. I would be livid.

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First kiss as husband and wife

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