Pregnant guest due the day before our wedding

That's a tough situation! Maybe they will know better a couple of weeks before your wedding? She might have the baby early (I don't know her but after just having a baby I wouldn't attend if I was her) or since it's her first she might go past her due date so she might be able to attend.

You're going to have a few more than them that are counted that don't end up coming. Its inevitable. Due dates aren't even a solid date...all they do is provide a mythical "end date" to judge the pregnancy by. I only know a few people who have actually made it to their due date, let alone after. They all seem to have the baby before. Regardless, you do sound like you're being kind of bitchy...its THEIR call. You gave them that position when you invited them to the wedding and you can't take it away from them now.

I did the same as Rosemary. FH's aunt had brain surgery last week, and though she's very intent on showing up at our wedding, we can't know how she'll feel next Saturday. Our vendor told us not to count her but to leave a table with 6 people, and if she ends up showing up we'd seat her and her husband there.

How does it work with your caterer if you have more people than what you paid for? We pay the maximum between our confirmed guest number (we gave that number last Friday) and the ones who actually show up. Check your contract to see if this is the case, and if it is, then don't count them.

I'd say don't count them in the head count...maybe she won't even make it to her due date And I've never been pregnant before, but I can't imagine feeling like I'd want to get all fixed up and go to a wedding when I was THAT pregnant...just seems uncomfortable. She may be all gung-ho now, but I bet she'll have changed her mind by then if she hasn't already given birth. I think it's standard for catering to prepare for 10% over the headcount they receive (at least that's what I've been told) so if they did show up, having enough food shouldn't be a problem. I'd be annoyed too though if I couldn't get a straight answer. I'm already coaching my dad for when he makes the calls on the RSVP's we don't get...either yes or no...and if you're a maybe then you're a no, sorry

Just chill for another month. They'll decide. She probably wants to be there if she hasn't had it yet, and since she is invited, she has the right,

Just wait. Things might clear up on their own.

@Maltese I know there will be a few- but I just feel like this is one that could easily be avoided. And tottally know I'm coming off bitchy - which is really why I'm posting here vs. complaining about it to people around me. I'd love it if they could make it - and I'm totally fine with them attending if she feels up to it - The real issue here is that they are disagreeing on the issue so I'm just not sure who to listen to.

@Rosemary I didn't even think about asking the caterer if they could be flexible with that - I guess that's something I'll add to my questions list for when we have our tasting!

It's a given that there will be people who don't show up. If it were me in that situation, I would write it off as the cost of uncertainty and list them as attending. I had a coworker whose wife just finished breast cancer treatments and he wasn't sure they were going to make it or not. I counted them as "yesses" and when they didn't show, I understood. To me, the possibility of them even attending was worth it and I wrote off the loss as "oh well, it happens".

Lol how the heck could this be "easily avoided"? Due dates are not set in stone. Even if they were both on board, there's a chance they won't make it.

In the end, it will most likely be HER call (or the unborn baby's). If she's feeling fine (pregnant still or not) then I'd bet that she would talk the husband into going to the wedding. Count them as a yes and just be done with it.

@Janeen. It can't, I'm just dumb and don't think before posting because our coffee maker is broken? I don't have an excuse for writing that.

My cousin is due the week before my wedding, and her parents and siblings are on the fence whether they are coming. I knew my cousin wasn't coming because she couldn't fly regardless if she went early or late, but like..the parents need to decide whether they will be with their daughter or at my wedding, because i will NOT hold a table for them. I gave them until September 1st to decide. I honestly could care less, and would almost rather them be with their first grandchild/niece/nephew.

If you are having a buffet I would count them.

If they are arguing about it, let them handle it. You go off what's on their rsvp.

This is a tough one. It's ultimately up to them (and the baby). It's so tough to judge when a baby will come, there is really no telling. In my personal experience (I have 4 nephews and a niece), a woman's first baby usually doesn't come until AFTER their due date. But there are so many factors that go into delivery, there is no way to know until it happens. I would probably count them as a no and then pray that you can accommodate if they do come. I mean, if the baby comes early, they probably can't come (she is going to be pumping and sore, tired, etc.) and if it doesn't come, she is going to be 9 month's pregnant and probably not up for dancing the night away.

Listen, I know how aggravating it is and how "omg I could have saved like $300 if I didn't include all these people!" but.....it's inevitable. There will be someone who you think is totally on board, has said the entire time he is, and he will not show lol. Stuff happens....sick kids, people get sick, car accidents, unexpected work something...I had two people call me while I was getting ready to tell me they weren't going to attend because one was sick and the other's kids were sick.

You said she's a good friend. Wait till your drop dead date and take whatever answer she gives you. Then make peace with it.

And ignore the person who said she might be too uncomfortable to get ready. Not all preggos are the same. I was running 5 miles up to the day I delivered my son (who was 8 days early btw)

@Janeen This is what I needed to hear As for you running five miles up to the day - you are my hero. I cannot run five miles on a regular day.

I have a similar guest who is due right before our wedding, but her and her husband have already apologized for not being able to make it. We understood and it made our lives simpler. On the other hand, we have an elderly couple who really want to come, but due to health circumstances/cancer treatments cannot commit 100%. Since I know if they can make it they absolutely will, I'm counting them as a yes and will follow up right before the numbers are due to see if there is any update.

Women often go late when it's the first baby. I would count them as a yes, since they are local and if she's not in labor she'll probably want to come!

I would talk to your caterer about this and let them give you their best opinion on the situation.

I do sympathize with your situation, but I feel like being a wee bit grouchy about it. You want opinions, so here you go.

As a woman with two children, I'm going to go ahead and say that if you disinvite this couple, you'll have to universally disinvite any other ladies in your group who might be pregnant. Might as well toss in the old people, too, since they might not make it to your wedding, either, and what a shame that'd be. And anyone with a chronic medical condition. And anybody that drives, because they could get into an accident on the way.

You presumably knew she was knocked up when you invited her. You invited her. You get to deal with it. You're wanting to disinvite her because of a what-if. You can't accurately state a chance on the what-if because, well, babies have their own timetables and have never been very good about listening to what other people have to say about when they should make their debut. You can't disinvite someone on a what-if, because every single person you've invited has a dozen or so what-ifs that could cause them not to show.

What would you do if they weren't due until October or November? There's an equally high chance that she'd deliver early and with little or no notice.

I second checking with the caterer, but in this case, might as well suck it up.

My daughter came 2 weeks early and I was at a wedding with baby in tow when she was 3 or 4 weeks old. We didn't stay late, but it was important for me to be there for my friend. It may be very important to her of him to be there. You can't write them off because she won't want to get ready if she's still pregnant.. That's ridiculous.

Your post makes it seem like the money wasted is more important to you then this couple. If you really wanted them there, the money wouldn't be an issue. As for the fighting couple, I would explain to them that you understand either way, but you need an actual yes or no by this date. I would also say if they RSVP Yes and aren't up for you, you understand as well. She's bringing a baby into this world. She wouldn't be blowing you off for something stupid.